A van (well minibus) full of lean mean mercenaries scorched their way up the motorway leaving overturned cars (one in the other lane) as they headed for the big city. Okay it wasn’t quite the A Team, just some of the Armada Sur off to Santa Cruz. After a few cancellations Mallorca were eventually announced as the opponents for this last pre season friendly, the big presentation game in the Heliodoro, a good test,, and one that CD Tenerife passed with flying colours during a convincing 2-0 win.

Many of the local bars, including our usual watering hole, were closed for a summer break so we made do with one of the small shops come bar just outside the top end of the stadium. A decent sized crowd was gathering and we were full of hope, and a few doradas, as we filed into the Grada Popular. The team line up was more or less coach Arconada’s strongest pick for the new season, only a week away now, Sergio Aragoneses was still recovering from injury and Luis Garcia (below)kept the goalkeeping gloves. The big interest was in debut signing Melli at the heart of a defence that has leaked goals in the last few friendlies.

From the start the game was played at a good pace with both sides getting chances, Omar and Nino both had sniffs for CDT and Garcia was given a stern examination. In the past his handling of high balls has made us cringe but he was confident and clean in the air and made some outstanding saves. Melli looked at home and was soon bossing his defensive mates around, that’s exactly what we need, a commanding leader, Prieto looked good as well alongside him and full backs Bertran and Beranger had solid games. Just before half time Natalio made it 1-0 from a Bertran cross, a well deserved lead.

The club did the same annoying thing as the last presentation game, left the lights off on the stadium surround area behind the seats, this made negotiating the steps fun and urinating on guesswork was the order of the day in the toilets. Anyway we all made our way back to our terrace spots with wet legs and hoped for better shooting from our players. Mallorca’s new Danish coach Michael Laudrup is still tinkering with his side but they still have most of the players that earned them fifth spot in La Liga. Tenerife were playing some good football, Hidalgo looked good in midfield and when Nino banged in a rebound from his partly blocked corner, it was no huge surprise.

Mass changes followed later in the game but CDT still offered plenty and Garcia made some more impressive saves to cap his best performance for the blanquiazuls. The win was warmly greeted by the crowd of 7,897 and after eventually escaping our underground car park we had a happy trip home with DJ General supplying some hot sounds from The Human League – the sad thing is most of us knew all the words.

With perfect timing new defender Melli arrived just in time to see CD Tenerife draw 3-3 away to Segunda B side Orihuela last night. The tall 26 year old has lots of La Liga experience and after losing his first team place, all parties involved negotiated a release from his contract, leaving CDT to sign him free on a three season deal. The draw came after a 2-1 defeat to Almeria on Wednesday night, also on the mainland training tour.

Almeria are a decent side and CD Tenerife only lost to a last minute penalty given away by youth defender Moreno. Iriome found the net after 36 minutes following creative play from Omar and Nino and Ulloa levelled after 78 minutes, that decisive penalty was also scored by Ulloa, right at the finish.

To be fair to CD Tenerife they atarted at Orihuela with Moreno again in the heart of defence and youth goalie Dani Mederos between the posts. The first half was all square and goals arrived late on, Natalio found the target after 61 and 70 minutes for a 2-0 lead. Aleo pulled one back after 79 minutes and Nino found his scoring touch after 82 minutes. Orihuela finished strongly with Santa Cruz and Aleo tying the game in the last five minutes. There was a cup at stake so penalties were brought into play, Nino and Juanlu fired wide and although young Mederos saved a spot kick Orihuela won.

Five goals conceeded in two games will concentrate coach Arconada’s mind on defence, he will be keen to see what difference Melli can make. We have had some good defenders the last few years but getting them to play as a strong defensive unit has been a constant problem, this will be one of the coaches biggest challenges.

On the plus side Mallorca have been confirmed as the opponents for the presntation game in Santa Cruz and it will take place on Friday 20 August at 9pm with season ticket holders getting in free. Sporting director Santiago Llorente says the club can make one more signing, a forward on a free. Not long to wait now, be nice to see meanigful games again. Vamos Tenerife.

It’s official CD Tenerife are better than Wigan Athletic, well semi official. A convincing 1-0 win for CD Tenerife in La Orotava made it three straight friendly wins, this time against La Liga opposition Real Zaragoza, a few days after they won in England 3-1 at Wigan. Nino took his pre season tally to 6 goals and although Zaragoza put out a weakened side, Tenerife were all over them for most of the game.

It was a change from our usual northern runs for Santa Cruz home games, given an extra twist by the leg crossing need for a leak by Mrs Moron. We dipped off the motorway and down into Las Caletillas just past Candelaria and found a nice bar for the emptying and filling of various alcoholic liquids, at least we boosted there trade for the day. As we cut across through La Laguna and past El Sauzal, the clouds closed in and our 30 degree start point seemed another continent away. Getting off our sawn off coach, not enough numbers for the full size bus, at La Orotava it had dropped a good 10 degrees but that didn’t worry us as we found many of the other CDT fans at our usual bar up a steep back street. After a few Dorada’s we headed up to the ground, the evening dusk lit up by a couple of blazing fire crackers, The General had already sorted out the 12 euro tickets for us. The ground was pretty packed, about 6,000, so we made our way to the far corner to welcome the players onto the pitch.

From the kick off it was clear that Zaragoza didn’t have their strongest line up but CD Tenerife again played good football and soon got their reward. Ricardo, looking commanding in midfield, set up Nino after 11 minutes and his finishing was clinical making it 6 goles in 3 friendlies. Midfield was working well with Juanlu making good breaks, and defence looked a lot tighter, thanks in part to David Prieto who looks a wise signing for the centre of defence.

Both sides made changes for the second half, Zaragoza brought on former Arsenal and Liverpool forward Jermaine Pennant and he must have been delighted to hear so many English voices welcoming him. We were able to offer him honest assesments of his past performances, valuable career advice, and even suggestions for leisure activities he may like to indulge in. Tenerife kept the upper hand, Omar made a big impression that was to earn him the man of the match award and the defence was so good they restricted Zaragoza to very few chances. The only bad points were injuries to Sergio Aragonoses, Omar and Pablo Sicilia. The final whistle signalled a pitch invasion as the Teide Trophy was awarded and players signed autographs, even Pennant posed graciously with his tormentors. Overcome with emotion, and rather a few Dorada’s, the Morons missed the coach as we sailed off down to the south with more reasons to look forward to the league campaign with hope.

Waking up in an arty farty frame of mind, I put on my cravat, adjusted my blazer, and headed up north to Santa Cruz. I’m no expert but I do love to dip into the wide and varied art scene that flourishes in Santa Cruz and La Laguna in particular. First port of call was a new venue for me, Centro de Arte la Recova just past La Noria as you head into the heart of the capital. New York bio artist Marlene Tseng Yu has an exhibition called Forces of Nature on until 27 August and like so many places in Tenerife, it is FREE.

Marlene’s work, acrylic on canvas is on a grand scale and centres on the environment and the beauty of our planet. La Recova is a large shell of a building and well suited to host such a display. The 16 works were all bright, vibrant and bursting with natural energy. Too often the art galleries are poorly supported but there was a steady trickle of visitors as I wandered around. the exhibition opens 11am to 1pm and 6pm to 9pm every day except Sunday, when it is closed, and it runs until 27 August.

I didn’t get very far after leaving the building, next door is the Teatro Guimera, a beautiful old theatre built in 1848 and currently undergoing a major facelift. It would have been all finished by now but the heavy rain and floods at the turn of the year did a lot of damage, hopefully it will now open in September, I will defnately have to take in a show there to see it in all its glory. It is named after poet and playwright Angel Guimera y Yorge who lived from 1845 to 1924. Most passing tourists snap a photo of the distinctive theatrical mask sculpture outside but I thought it was time that the inspiration for the building got his mug shot taken.

Where to next on this voyage of discovery? How about Plaza de España and a chance to catch up on the newly re-opened remains of the Castillo San Cristobal, one of the original defensive strongholds that helped to repel us horrible Brits and several other nationalities. the castle was built in 1575 but it was demolished in 1928 to make way for the Plaza de España, the centre piece of Santa Cruz. There was a nice surprise for the people of Santa Cruz when in 2006 Plaza de España was dug up for the new lake project, and underground part of the original castle wall was found standing firm. It was restored along with the main plaza and opened to the public but those heavy storms earlier this year flooded it out and more work was needed. I saw the first version and it was a bit plain, and the old section of wall with little explanation didn’t really do the history proud. This new version is loads better, much more information in Spanish and English, a big focus on the attack by Nelson, commentary with drum sound affects for the wall, and a seperate room for the famous Tiger canon. The Tigre has been credited with blowing Nelsons arm clean off, but as the guide notes explain,that is not proven, it did hole one of the British ships and played a big part in defeating the British earning it’s place in local folklore. The Castillo is open to the public Mon, Weds, Thurs and Fri from 10am to 6pm and Saturday and Sunday from 11am to 7pm, closed Tuesdays.

Having neglected La Laguna lately, and always up for a ride on the tram, I took the 30 minute glide up to the university city. One of my regular stops there is the Instituto de Canarias Cabrera Pinto in Calle San Agustin, they always have an interesting exhibition running. The latest is called 25ft_10 Orientaciones and features new views of everyday scenes from around Tenerife in drawings, paintings and photos. There is even a wedding area complete with a long reception table with scattered flowers and remains of a feast. I liked the photos of Sergio Real, revealing some hidden corners of daily life in small villages. The exhibitions here are always FREE and it’s nice to check up on the slow restoration process being carried out on the old Convent of San Agustin. The latest display is open Monday to Friday 10am to 8pm and Saturday 10am to 3pm. There are a lot of roadworks going on at the moment around the historic back waters of but its fairly easy to pick your way through and always rewarding.

Tramming back to Santa Cruz I got off and Plaza Weyler and walked down into the heart of the city and rounded my trip off with my usual papas bravas and churros de pescado at the kiosk on Plaza del Principe. it’s a lovely shady spot to watch the world bustle by and follow the green parakeets flitting from tree to tree. Not a bad old way to spend the day.

The lookie lookie capital of Tenerife, El Fraile, played host to CD Tenerife for the second pre season friendly, this time against local team UD Ibarra. We had all been joking about the reputation of El Fraile as being “a little lively” at night but from our bar stop near the ground, we watched the Guardia Civil shaking down a group of local youngsters. They were being thoroughly frisked, seemed a bit exessive for an overdue library book, it may have been in connection with a gardening offence as several people mentioned that some weed had gone missing.

Anyway everyone was very welcoming to us, they even sold the 10 euro match tickets in the bar, preserving valuable minutes of drinking time. This was a new ground to me, very low walls around the pitch allowing easy pitch access for fans, apparently last time CD Tenerife played there a fan tried to do a streak on the pitch but was so drunk he couldn’t get his trousers down and fell over on the grass, all live on local TV. The Armada Sur filed round behind one of the goals and I joined them after snapping a few pics of the new players.

Results are just part of the picture in friendlies, it’s about looking for good signs, new partnerships, who’s hungry, who’s fit and trying a few younger players. CDT looked good again, Julio Alvarez (above) the big signing from Mallorca caught the eye pulling the strings in midfield and taking all the set pieces, free kicks, corners etc. Dani Kome seems to have got his appetite back and banged in the opener just after half an hour, from a cross by Berenger, the new French right back. Omar made it 2-0 soon after but Ibarra had a few good chances, forcing some convincing saves out of Luis Garcia.

Mass changes greeted the second half, the biggest cheer of the night was for Nino, fresh from signing his new four year contract. It was good to see Venezuelan born youth team graduate Josmar Zambrano (below) get into the action, he has been tipped as a future star for several seasons and he soon showed us what a good midfield player he is, with a hint of Messi about his looks and style of play. Nino was on fire, Bellvis set up his first goal and his second was a class affair with Bertran linking perfectly with him and a cool finish. Turbo, a lively ibarra forward, pulled two goals back, maybe the defence needs a bit of work. Another new boy, Natalio took his turn to shine threading a perfect pass to the unmarked Nino to complete his hat trick.

Another good workout in front of a 1,000 or so, at the final whistle many fans invaded the pitch and the CD Tenerife players patiently signed autographs and posed for photos. The General presented Pablo Sicilia with a new Armada Sur shirt and the central defender surprised us with his impressive English.

The World Cup was a nice distraction but you can’t beat live football, that’s why I was tingling with excitement, singing football songs in the shower, and slipping on my CD Tenerife shirt with a renewed sense of pride and expectation. It’s become a traditional curtain raiser now to play at CD Marino in the first friendly so I headed down to the Royal Oak 2 to meet the Armada Sur, a chance to meet some good friends again and pick up my laughably cheap (125 euros)Â new season ticket.

It had been another baking day and the cold beer was very welcome, a large crowd of us had gathered and set off for the short walk to the Las Americas stadium. Part way down the road someone, who obviously we didn’t know and hadn’t met before, let off a big red smoke flare which illuminated some wild singing before being thrown across the road to smoulder on the waste ground. At this point a police van cruised by and pulled up, whoops time to stride on fast, the police went across and put out the sparking flare and thankfully didn’t try to snuff us out as well. Passing the small annex stadium we could see the huge stage and rig for the Saturday night Alejandro Fernandez concert.

Negotiating the long queue and paying the 10 euros entrance, well it’s CD Marino’s main source of income for the season, we passed the same raffle prizes that were on display last year and headed for the bar as the minutes ticked down to kick off. As always the bar staff used to home crowds of barely 200 struggled to cope with a 2,500 turnout and the ever thirsty Armada Sur, the service was slow and erratic. There is nothing worse than waiting to get a beer as people in front of you take ages to buy a packet of crisps. Anyway beers in hand we took our places on the terracing and tried to work out who was lining up in CD Tenerife’s snazzy new home strip. It was a mixed bag of returning players, new signings and youngsters that had been brought up for the pre season training camp over in La Palma.

CD Marino were poor, they have given us some tough games in the past but not this time, but for a first proper friendly it was pleasing to see CD Tenerife show some good signs. Nino has yet to sign a new contract extension but it’s looking more likely by the day that he will stay and it was good to see him in action again. Returning midfield player Hidalgo, back after a five year gap, opened the scoring after 10 minutes from a pass by Bertran, another key player looking close to committing his future to the cause. New signing Natalio set up Nino to make it 2-0 after 17 minutes and the play was flowing well. Iriome made a good start to his return from loan supplying Nino for a comfortable half time 3-0 lead. After some more scrumming down at the bar we were back for the second half as wholesale changes were made to the on pitch 11. Dani Kome came on and looked sharper than last season scoring a good goal cutting in from the left to round up the scoring after 75 minutes.

A good work out for the squad, and for our singing and drinking talents. There will be many tougher games than this but the new coach should be pleased with what he saw. Vamos El Tete.

Gunshot and canon fire were ringing in my ears as a few yards from me a second line of the Canarian infantry reloaded and stepped up to the hay bale barrier where a dead body slouched over his rifle. Running in from the sea wall a small group of British troops fell to their knees as they were picked off amid the swirling smoke and loud explosions. Were we back in the Santa Cruz of 1797 as Admiral Nelsons troops tried to add Tenerife to their list of naval conquests? A wider glance saw the battle framed by the modern hook nosed Auditorium and crowds of onlookers with phone cameras in one hand and ice creams in the other.

La Gesta commemorates a proud moment in Tenerife history when the island forces saw off the might of the British Navy under its finest commander. Nelson himself took little part in the fighting as his first step onto Tenerife soil from a landing boat was greeted by a musket blast that shattered his right arm and led to a quick return to his ship to have the arm removed. The financial crisis nearly defeated everyone this year but a late influx of 40,000 euros from Santa Cruz council saved the week long celebration, albeit on a reduced scale. One of the visiting British fighters, the Peninsula War Association told me their numbers had been reduced after recently taking part in a Waterloo battle but he assured me that their lack of numbers would not dilute the passion.

A lavish production was indeed what we got, film maker Teodoro Rios wrung every bit of emotion out of the skirmish, 70 troops took part in total, 60 kilos of gunpowder made sure it went with a bang and authentic uniforms were defended with reproduction guns like the British Brownbess and the French Charleville favoured by the Spanish. There was an uneasy peace at first as guards lined the battlements of the Castillo San Juan, usually referred to as Castillo Negro. A special soundtrack composed for the event created a miliary mood as preperations continued with rival soldiers going through their moves in their minds, then a flash of coloured smoke and a deafening blast from the Atlantic end of the coast path signalled the start of the attack.

The Spanish fired down on the invading Brits from the castle and at ground level kept two waves of riflemen trained on the enemy from the sparse safety of the hay bales. As the Union Jack was carried closer to the castle the Spanish troops went on the offensive and engaged the enemy as bodies fell among the smoke. Both sets of soldiers were a strange mix of ages, shapes and sizes, one fallen Brit looked alarmingly like Captain Mainwaring. The Brits were taking a battering and retreated back down the walkway to the sea, this gave eager swimmers in the Parque Maritimo complex a great close up view of the action as they hung over the wall dripping pool water.

Some symbolic moments were added to the re-enactment, hay bales were set on fire, Captain Troubridge who took over command when Nelson was ferried back to his ship, threatened to burn Santa Cruz to the ground if his surrender terms were not met. In the end it was a very amicable surrender at the time with a great deal of mutual respect despite the loss of 226 British sailors. Spanish Governor Juan Antonnio Gutierrez gave help to get the injured brits back to their ships and both sides exchaned gifts, Canarian wine for the Brits and a barrel of beer for the Canarian force. You can still find a couple of streets in Santa Cruz named after Nelson as well as a grubby, neglected monument to the two leaders down near the port.

There were more ceremonies to come for the official anniversary day on 25 July but as the soldiers dispersed they posed for photos with wide eyed children and some equally excited “older kids”. As the gunpowder smoke drifted away the Castillo Negro and surrounding area went back to being a popular tourist magnet but at least the echoes of this turbulent past will have touched a few more ears again.

Hopefully customers is the answer to that headline, and it did work to an extent. Los Cristianos business association and Arona council pulled out the stops with a beach front fashion show at the old beach. At the mention of young ladies strutting their stuff I was down the hill and in place quicker than Ussain Bolt on roller skates. There were four shows, 6.30 pm and 8.30 pm on Friday and Saturday featuring clothes and accessories available from shops in the surrounding area.

The Los Cristianos Zona Abierto campaign was greeted enthusiastically by local business’s and just past the church plaza Perfumeria Mego had set up a makeover area outside their shop and were preening passers by. The smell of all that combined fragrances made quite a heady mix adding to the hot evenings balmy beauty. I wore a few dabs of my latest fragrance Midnight In Grimsby , well the local cats seemed to like it. Further down at the front there was a childrens play area with toys and games to keep the toddlers amused and one of the restaurants had a face painter on hand to add an extra gleam to smiling young faces.

In front of the large catwalk quite a crowd had gathered taking up the seating and spilling out all around ready for the show. A large video screen and pumping music set the tome and a female compere tottering on very high heels built up the excitement levels. In the backstage are, just behind the Plaza de Pescadora nervous youngsters limbered up before hitting the stage via the orange carpet. Many of the early, younger models were a bit shy but most showed a real flair for modelling. Nearly all of the models were of school age and had friends in the audience cheering them on and in some cases dishing out some good natured banter. As well as the majority of female models there were a few young men, now if you were a young teenage boy and your mate was up on the catwalk, you wouldn’t give him any stick would you? – no not much you wouldn’t. Big respect to the models for running the guantlet of their teasing school mates, and the dance troupe ended the show with a stylish performance.

It was a great show, a lot of work had clearly gone into it and hopefully the clothes shops will benefit from improved sales. The nearby restaurants were a bit busier than usual, but this was the early show and possibly a bit early for many families to eat, hopefully the later performance reaped even greater rewards. It was a shame to see the illegal street vendors cashing in, I’ve never seen so many tacky sqeaky flashing toys on offer, it must annoy the shop owners who are shelling out high rents and rates. Anyway look out for more events on the promenade and try to give them your support.

Like David Banner at the end of The Hulk or Cain at the end of Kung Fu, I feel compelled to walk into the distance and try new destinations, thankfully in my case without green fits or flattening the locals after announcing that I Come In Peace. Tenerife is perfect for my wandering spirit and the north has proved rich ground for some wonderful trips. For readers of Tenerife Magazine it could all be slightly easier and a whole lot more comfortable with a weeks free half board holiday for two people at Hotel Las Aguilas in Puerto de la Cruz.

That’s the latest prize on offer for simply being a Facebook fan of Tenerife Magazine and getting pulled out of the draw on 2nd August. Then it’s up to you what you do, I’m not going to nag and tell you about all those wonderous places you ned to visit like the Drago tree at Icod de Los Vinos, the Garachico rock pools and volcanic mound of rock spat into the sea by a major eruption of Mount Teide, and the wine trail at La Orotava that will leave you struggling to walk in a straight line. Wild horses and even countless repeats of Friends couldn’t force me to divulge the location of all those lovely coffee and cake cafes and bizarre bars that I have encountered on my travels. It’s up to you to go and explore.

Mind you I can understand if you just want to relax by the two large swimming pools at Las Aquilas, or enjoy the four star luxury service and views. Maybe try out the tennis and padel courts or the three restaurants and show bar. The 10.000 square metres of gardens may well distract your interest and the modern spacious layout will give you time to chill. For some history and culture the easy way just hop on the regular free shuttle bus into Puerto de la Cruz and explore the rugged sea front and a myriad of back street shops and restaurants. Basically there is plenty to do during your stay.

You still have time to win a week’s half board holiday for two people. All you need to do is be a Facebook fan of Tenerife Magazine by the closing date of 31^st July. The draw will be made on 2^nd August, is not transferable and must be claimed within 2 weeks of the draw or it will be re-drawn. The prize voucher can be used until the end of 2010, not open to staff or relatives of Tochdocun or Grupo Gomasper.

If you want to know more about Hotel Las Aguilas try the website www.hotellasaguilas.com or give them a ring on (0034) 922372806 or drop them an email reserves@hotellasaguilas.com

Just up past San Miguel said The General, we were to discover it was quite a long way past. The football season is nearly upon us so what beter way to rally the Armada Sur troops than a barbecue up in the hills of Tenerife. It was all organised in advance with The General and German Frank going up early to the public barbecue site at Cho Pancho to stoke the fires and reserve us a decent space to spread out and enjoy ourselves. The coach picked us up from the Toby Jug and the The Royal Oak 2, a couple of our favoured watering holes, and then we headed up, up and further up the tight hill road way past San Miguel. It seemed we may have gone too far so we got the driver to do his best Italian Job impression by reversing and doing a three point turn just above a sheer drop. We should have had more faith, turns out we hadn’t gone far enough, another U turn later and a few frantic phone calls and we screeched to a halt just short of running over The General and Frank.

The barbecue site was down a slip road that we could have easily missed, even Yogi Bear would have trouble finding this place. Some were ferried by car down to the main site and other of us walked and what a fantastic site greeted us. Two sturdy toilet blocks signalled that we wouldn’t have to get too native and then the path led down into the forest and a clearing adorned with Armada Sur banners and flags. The hard working advance party had even hung a Pio from a tree, he was always going to meet a sticky end. As the chicken, pork, sausages and burgers sizzled nicely we found some nice shady seating either on the large benches and tables or on convenient rocks. Kevin and Karen had provided one of their trademark hot curries, mine slipped down nicely followed by a cold beer from the bottomless iced bins.

It was a very hot afternoon, we had a few worrying days waiting for the heatwave warning and fire ban to be lifted but our timing was spot on. Even in the shade the heat made its mark, some of the younger members started to spray water around, it was very refreshing and soon the impromptu showers had spread to the next party just along from us. Just a short walk up from our spot was a flat clearing, perfect for a game of cricket, one of our group had brought a wicket, bat, ball etc so Frank proceeded to show us that the Germans could whoop us at cricket as well as football. There was quite a drop if the ball went out of play, thankfully it didn’t happen that much. Cricket gave way to football but the heat and thirst drew people back to the barbecue area and some much needed iced drinks. The Pio was starting to look smug on its lofty perch so The General cut it loose and placed it over one of the grills. The yellow menace took a while to get going but burst into a satisfying ball of flame, the first of many pios to be punished this season.

Reluctantly we had to pack up and head up the slip road for our bus back to the south, everything was of course cleared up and we took all our rubbish with us. The bus back was boisterous and musical as the beer fuelled passengers refelcted on a superb afternoon of good company, good food and the best of Tenerife’s rural charms. Less than 2 weeks to go and we can get back on the terraces belting out our support for the mighty CD Tenerife.