Some offers are too good to miss, pre christmas Ryanair flights to Madrid for 26 euros return, to take in a CD Tenerife away, I couldn’t say no. Sitting on the tarmac at Tenerife South airport, waiting an hour for take off due to fog in the Spanish capital, wasn’t the ideal Saturday morning start, but we eventually got the ok.

I was in a group of 7 fine ambassadors from the Armada Sur,we soon found plenty of Canarian friends from the other peñas (fan clubs) some had made an early start on the booze, before boarding. Putting our watches forward an hour after the 2.5 hour flight, we bundled through Terminal 4 and found the Metro, loaded up on tickets and made a couple of changes on the way down to our hotel NH Atocha (another bargain at 30 euros a night)  near the Pacifico stop. Once we were out in the open, the cold started to bite and on went the extra layers, the remains of the fog lingered in the air, but we soon found our hotel and checked in.

Hey, we didn’t just throw this trip together, The General had sussed out that Second Division Rayo Vallecano were at home early evening, so as Kirstie and Nikki went up town to explore museums, the Freezing Five walked through the run down and strangely quiet neighbourhood, looking for bars on the way. Watering holes were scarce so we ended up at a bar near the ground, previously invaded by Tenerife fans last season. As we thawed out, the beer and tapas started flowing, it was fairly empty at first but a hoard of Numancia fans (above) descended, complete with drums and turned up the volume. We of course proudly uncovered our Tenerife colours and both the home and visiting fans were very friendly and welcoming.

Armed with our 15 euro match tickets, we grabbed a last cheeky beer opposite the entrance and took our place on the chilly terracing. Rayo is a 3 sided ground, flats are built at one end, the 11,500 crowd were pretty subdued, only breaking into song once they were 4-1 up well into the second half. We mingled a bit and tried to stop our feet from turning to ice, the Numancia fans up in the corner of one stand, did their best to life the atmosphere but lost heart as their team lost goals.

Heading back to the hotel, the streets had filled up, evening shopping seems the in thing at Rayo, we managed to resisit buying any of the tat on sale at the market stalls. Back at the hotel the girls were happy with their afternoons browsing and ready to join us for night time in the city centre. The metro system is clean and efficient and delivered us quickly to Sol, slap bang in the centre. You can never get enough football, so we found a large lively Irish bar with big screens showing the evenings games and set about demolishing a few cold Coronitas. Hunger was kicking in by this stage, so we found a big kebab restaurant, that worryingly had a huge painting of a horse on the wall-I was assured by those who indulged in a large kebab that the meat seemed true to its menu description.

Madrid is a lively and busy city, especially on a Saturday night, we had a little wander around the main square to take photos and everyone was friendly, enjoying the pre christmas lights , living art displays, and bustle. Three of our party went back to the hotel at a reasonable hour, while we headed to a rock bar, Parada de Los Monstrous, Â a short metro ride away in Iglesia. The beer was reasonable, especially the 6.5 % Yuste, and we even got a seat near the DJ, so we could feed him requests for old classics like New Order, Echo and the Bunnymen,he found most of them. By 2.30am we were flaging, even though the bar was just getting going, so we piled in a taxi and back for some sleep before the big day.

How many ways can the waves meet the shore, you might as well ask how many shades and hues the sea has, or how many shapes and textures do the rocks have.  All these questions occupied my little pea brain today as I took a stroll along the coastal path from Alcala to El Varadero, on the west coast of Tenerife.

It must be at least a year since I followed this delightful route, so after a refreshing cold drink at the plaza in Alcala, I set about retracing my steps. When I worked for The Tenerife Sun from their office in this small fishing village, I would take a swim in the bay each dinner time. A couple of years ago it was given a spruce up and a protective dyke added to calm the waves, and new easier entry points were added into the water. There was a healthy number of bathers taking a dip today, and a few lone anglers perched on rocky outcrops.

Rounding the first point, the influence of the huge and luxurious Palicio de Isora Hotel is soon felt, the walkways have been widened and made safer, a good thing for walkers, but at a cost of large concreted seating areas added to please the tourists. This last long weekend was one of the major Spanish holidays and would normally have attracted a big influx from the mainland and the north of Tenerife, but this year it was very quiet. The hotel pool was hardly disturbed by a ripple, and only a handful of guests loitered around the edge, given the place a slightly eerie and empty air.

The newly sanitised area soon gave way to the more rugged path as shingle and stones guided me down the crescent bank and along the waters edge. The waves were mighty and rolling in majestically, the hot sun and blue sky meant clear views out to La Gomera, interupted only by the odd passing boat. There is a point where the shore line plunges down a little into the rock pools and I had to clamber around the edge to pick up the path again, it has a reassuring wildness to it and I could see that since my last visit some of the path edge had subsided, but there are plenty of variations to mix and match with some careful footwork.

Coming up the other side and back on wider walkways, I was in the area where campers used to descend in vans every holiday, it’s strictly illegal but enforcement was always a bit half hearted, in recent years there has been a clamp down but the tell tale tyre tracks showed that at least a few had pushed their luck. This stretch leads to Punta Blanca, a wild stretch of coast favoured by surfers, and sure enough there were a few bobbing like corks out at sea, gripping their boards and waiting for the big wave.

The land along here used to be filled with banana plantations but as prices dropped and foreign competition rose, the fields were abandoned but the sturdy plants are still standing firm in some quarters, and the old border walls are crumbling but just about holding their own. The views here are wonderful as the cliffs of Los Gigantes appear in the distance. The coastal path and the main road start to converge but there are still a few twists and turns before surfacing in El Varadero. The walk took me about an hour, going at a leaisurely pace and stopping to snap photos at every new natural wonder.

Some days you don’t always get what you are after, but there are always consolations. I headed up to La Laguna via Santa Cruz, to try to track down British artist Dave McKean. This talented chap from Maidenhead is an accomplished painter, illustrator and photographer, but famous as a comic book artist. I had heard the name vaguely, he wrote a series called Batman, Arkham Asylum. The La Laguna connection was as a photo artist with an exhibition called Pholk, at the Estudio Artizar, his website is being revamped so I couldn’t contact him, and just took a chance of an interview for www.tenerifemagazine.com . I soon found out that Dave is back in the UK freezing, so I purused his work at the small quaint gallery, an old traditional Canarian house. The photos are all based on traditional English dance fiqures, but with a bizarre twist added – interesting. You have till 12 December if you want to check out the work.

That could have been a blow to my day but Great Aunt Matilda always said “a day spent exploring is a day not wasted” that was just before she was shot for trespassing. So crossing the Calle San Augustin to the old convent of San Agustin, I sought out some more art at the exhibition hall. Rosa Munoz was the artist and as soon as I entered the hall, her paintings hit me, bright vibrant colours, all based on living scenes, some in a living room and some in a rural setting, but all boosted by screaming, loud colour – I liked that. For this show, you have unitl 10 December – both exhibitions are FREE.

Christmas is just a month away, time to plant the poinsettias, there were a few of these gorgeous red and yellow plants around La Laguna, but back in Santa Cruz, the borders and flower beds were bulging with them. Although a well worn christmas tradition, poinsettias are known in Spain as Flores de Pascua (Easter Flowers) , Santa Cruz council has bedded in 87, 112 of them, mainly red, but some yellow for contrast, there are also 3.500 persian violets adorning hanging baskets. Parque Garcia Sanabria was looking and smelling  particularly fragrant, especially the flower clock.

Santa Cruz port is always one of my stop off points, always some interesting ships in, and yesterday it was one of the smaller vessels taking centre stage. Petrel is a drug enforcement ship for the Agencia Tributuria, tracking down smugglers, and confiscating their loads. Since it launched in 1995, Petrel has carried out 47 major operations including in the waters off Venezuela, Brazil and even southern England. Their haul has included 84,000 kilos of cocaine, 8,000 kilos of hachis, and 725,000 packets of cigarettes, I bet their christmas party is pretty lively. Oh well that will do for another day, hopefully my next visit will see the christmas shopping frenzy in full swing.

Ahoy me old ship mates, this is Captain Colin here fresh back from Santa Cruz, it was awash with tourists from Germany, Britain, France, Italy and Spain, as 5 cruise liners docked. It was too good an opportunity to miss, so armed with my camera and notebook I stalked the streets of the capital looking for a story for www.tenerifemagazine.com .

The ships were lined up nicely at the far side of the port, trouble was security guards were posted at the entrance to the area where they were moored, so I had to be content with pics from the ferry reception building. The biggest of all the ships, MSC Fantasia has called in before, but still looks impressive with its 18 decks, 3,274 passengers, and money oozing out of every port hole. The Grand Mistral weighed in with 1,100 passengers, the Astor 590, a 4 mast sailing yacht, Sea Cloud with about half that, and Island Escape adding another 1,690 floating wallets. Personal service is the order of the day on board these ships, so crew numbers only lag slightly behind the paying public.

Thankfully the weather behaved, leaving me to chase passengers around the streets of Santa Cruz with a big net, it just needed the Benny Hill music in the background and it would have been perfect. A lot of passengers didn’t want to talk, probably thought I was selling something, and others pretended to speak French or Italian just to get rid of me, probably from Scunthorpe but good at accents. At least a few were chatty, give it a few days and you can read the full article at www.tenerifemagazine.com , we are cramming so many stories in at the moment, some have to adopt a stacking formation and wait for a space to become available.

All this activity didn’t keep me away from my favourite food places, I nearly always have some churros de pescado (fish in batter) at the Plaza del Principe cafe, and it would be rude not to have some coffee and chocolate doughnuts along the way. All the streets were busy with beggars and artists, some are a pain, but I can’t resist stopping to watch the living statues, and the reactions they get from startled members of the public when they suddenly move.

I was ready to make my way back down south, this time along the Avenida Maritima, the dock front road, but loud music and gathered crowds alerted me to the slip road bordering the docks, brightly coloured race cars were gathering for the Tenerife Rally. All 96 entrants were going through last minute checks before Friday nights 3 quickfire stages could take place in Arico, Icor and Fasnia.

Feast you eyes on this Porsche 911 997 GT3 , I’m told it is favourite to win the Tenerife Rally after the 2 further Saturday runs on the same 3 routes. The driver is Santiago Concepcion Acosta from La Palma and his co pilot Nazer Ghuneim Olivares. I must be honest and say that the technical wizardry of the cars is lost on me, but I did appreciate the dolly girls dishing out the race programmes. The full article is already up on www.tenerifemagazine.com and you still have until the end of November to win a weeks holiday at Sands Beach Resort in Lanzarote, by joining the Tenerife Magazine Facebook group, get in there.

If I was an MP, I would have a second home in Santa Cruz, subsidised by the tax payer, I seem to spend a lot of time up there – not that I’m moaning. Today I popped up to interview the British Consul for the Canary Islands, see www.tenerifemagazine.com.

First stop though was the port to get a look at Royal Navy ship HMS Scott,the fleets only ocean survey vessel. For the technical out there, it is 131 metres (430 foot) long, can do up to 18 knots and has a crew of up to 63. The ship is here until Tuesday (Nov 10) morning before heading off into the oceans of the world.

The forecast for Santa Cruz was rain, thankfully it didn’t amount to more that a bit of drizzle, or as I like to think of it, the makings of a Miss Wet Tshirt contest. After my usual wanderings around the capital, I headed to Plaza Weyler and my interview with the Consul. Matthew Vickers turned out to be a very interesting chap, I hadn’t realised he had lived in my home city of Oxford for 8 years, so we spent the first 10 minutes talking about pubs and live music in Oxford. The full interview is quite revealing and well worth a look at www.tenerifemagazine.com.

Before heading for home, I couldn’t resist delving into the huge open sale at the Recinto Ferial events centre. The Expolsado Invierno has 212 stands from 120 companies, and is a real mix of everthing you could ever want, and a few things you cartainly wouldn’t. I thought the 3 euro entrance was a bit of a cheek, but queued for a ticket from the box offi¡ce and then moved round to the entrance. As I walked in I was buzzed by a remote control truck and was immediately struck by the amazing array of goods on offer. One whole side was for used cars, two strange white animal type mascots posed for photos, they seemed to be scarring more kids than they enchanted.

There were imitation guns, toys, loads of christmas decorations, musical instruments and electrical goods, all at knock down prices. One man bought a faulty television with the volume stuck on full, well he couln’t turn it down. There were huge baskets of clothes being turned over by bargain hunting ladies, I sneaked in and hid in one of the baskets and let the frenzied women rummage through me – very enjoyable. The sale is on till Sunday from 11 am to 9 pm, don’t worry chaps, if you want to take your good woman along, or even the wife, it’s good to know that the cafe sells beer. Happy hunting.

Even in Tenerife, winter should mean a little drop in temperature, but it just seems to be getting hotter at the moment. The skies were clear and blue as I headed for El Medano, just past the south airport, this morning, and I was greeted by some wonderous sights as kite boarders and wind surfers made the most of this delightfully windy corner of the island.

El Medano is a big favourite of mine, a bit of a hippy chill out feel to it and lots of surf dudes communing with nature. It’s been a while since I ventured down there, so it was an added bonus to find a health fair taking place in the main plaza, facing the sea. They seemed to be doing a steady trade with health drinks, diet and fitness plans and even some sporadic work outs conducted from the stage.

Gently shelving beaches is a bit of a holiday brochure cliche, but it really applies to El Medano, going in from the main beach or one of the coves worn into the sandstone, you can walk out a long way before the fluff in your belly button starts to get damp. Further along towards the imposing figure of Montña Roja, the sky becomes flecked with multi coloured kites harnessing the wind for the board riders who tug on the threads. I arrived at just the right time to see many of the kite boarders and wind surfers setting up for the day, and it was quite a spectacle.It’s almost a ballet of boards and kites as they tack into and away from the wind with great skill and strength. many big chamionships are held in El Medano because of the conditions, and a whole support structure of kit and clothing shops has sprung up.

Wandering back and along the seafront walkway, I caught the regular market in the far plaza, no doubt tough times for them as well these days but it’s another attraction that draws people down to this area. The Hotel El Medano and it’s very English looking pier, are still standing firm, despite constant threats to demolish at least the pier for breaking the coastal protection law. Granadilla council do a good job on looking after El Medano, there are plenty of informative boards along the front about the flora and fauna, and some history of this stretch of coast. Bins the length of the front have been set up to keep differnt types of rubbish seperate and easier for recycling, and the small exercise frames attract a regular stream of curious test pilots.

El Medano is very much at peace with itself, even the low flying planes from Reina Sofia airport fail to detract from the overall feel of serenity. The sporting exploits on the sea  give the resort a claim to fame around Tenerife, let’s hope the breeze continues to lift them to new heights.

Back on the rock and ready to roll, time to check out what has been going on in my brief abscence, heading north to Santa Cruz on the 111 Titsa, a quick chage to the tram and I was in La Laguna to check out the Chinyero exhibition. On November 18 it will be 100 years since the last volcanic eruption, in the north west corner at Chinyero, and Instituto Cabrero Pinto in Calle San Augustin has a FREE exhibition about the eruption and volcanic activity across the Canary Islands. Plenty of old pics, records and detailed reports, help to shine a light on this momentous event for Tenerife. The show closes on November 1 but re-opens in Puerto de la Cruz from November 13 to December 17, at the old convent of Santa Domingo.

La Laguna was in fine fettle, there is an active effort to improve the streets and plazas as it celebrates 10 years of being a UNESCO natural heritage site. Work on the fire damaged Cathedral palace is moving on quickly, but the ducks around the pond seemed unflapped by it all. I’m not to sure about the addition of a “Noddy train” around the old historic streets, but it’s one way of keeping the tourists happy.

Back on the tram to Santa Cruz and christmas was creeping in, well they were putting up the lights in the main shopping streets – already! I was hoping to see the group of 11 Tibetan monks playing at Plaza del Principe, raising money for the Sera Jhe monastry in India, but they were having a spiritual tea break. During the last week, Santa Cruz has been hosting the Tenerife Design Festival at various outlets, one of them being TEA arts centre opposite the African market. The Flying Grass Carpet had landed outside the TEA entrance, an artificial grass, instant park measuring 25 x 36 metres.

A few people were spread out and enjoying this inspiral carpet, maybe it should return for Carnaval and we can see if anyone rolls it up and lights it. TEA is just about to celebrate it’s first birthday, and as part of the celebrations they have 2 new English language films showing FREE (normal film price is 4 euros). Michael Moores Sicko is on October 30, 31 and November 1 at 7 and 9.30pm, and Quentin Tarantinos Inglorious Basterds is on November 6, 7 and 8 at 7 and 10 pm, both well worth a look.

For me though it was time to head back south, there is always plenty more to see in Santa Cruz, but thats for another day.

Kept in a strange village and chased by a huge white clear bubble, sounds bizarre, but myself and many people in the 1960’s were glued to ITV series The Prisoner. As I am over in the UK for a few days it seemed a great idea to visit Portmeirion in North Wales, where the classic series was filmed. Even staying with the lovely Pam in Bolton, it’s a fair old drive so we took it gently, and as the sun was shining, that made things a lot easier.

Heading to Pwllheli for a couple of days, we stopped off at Llanrwist (above)  for a cuppa, a beautiful setting in the Snowdonia National Park, the trees were just putting on their autumn clothes of russets and golden browns and the old stone bridge gave great views of the cold river trickling underneath. Moving on to Betws Y Coed, we could see the little village was a busy crossing point for walkers, the weather was still crisp and sunny as we headed towards the train station. Now I’m not a train spotter, but I should imagine they really blow their whistles when they see the old train carriages in a siding, used as a buffet coach. There is also a small kiddies train on a single track , I was tempted but it was clearly not meant for heavy loads like me. The food was good on board, and we even sneaked a quick glance in the railway museum.

A few miles on and we found the main attraction, Portmeirion (below) , a real mixed bag of architectural styles built by Clough Williams Ellis, around an old run down hotel on the edge of he river estuary. For those not familiar with The Prisoner, there is a new working of the classic starting on ITV in November with a strong American flavour and filmed at a special village built in Africa.

For those who don’t know, The Prisoner was a former British agent who resigned and was then gassed, only to wake up in this strange village with no means of escape. Everyone was known by a number and the elusive big boss, Number One, stayed hidden in the background as Number 6 was probed to find out why he re-signed. Portmeiron is certainly strange, it started with just a few large scale set piece buildings and gardens, gradually more architectural oddities in various styles were added by donations, the finished product is pretty amazing.

Cardigan Bay forms a wonderful natural backdrop, and the hotel and series of small apartments and chalets are available for holiday rent, there was a big wedding going on during our visit. As the sun stared to sink low, a chill gripped the air, time to head off back to Pwllheli. It was a shame not to be chased by Rover, the white ball that acts as a guard dog, but I will look out for it in the new series – somehow I think it will be replaced by something more modern – that’s progress I suppose.

You can’t please everyone, do you let nature take its course, or give it a little nudge in the direction you want? Councils all around the coast of Tenerife constantly face this problem, some 18 months ago Guia de Isora council revamped Playa San Juan beach, adding new sand, walkway, seating and kiosks. The sand at the shore was soon eroded and various recriminations were made, so on a trip to Los Gigantes, I broke the journey to see how things had settled.

The hourly 477 direct bus to Los Gigantes makes the west coast much quicker and easier to reach, hopping off in Playa San Juan I headed for the beach and was pleasantly surprised. Like a stubborn receeding hairline, the exposed shingle had not spread back any further than the crescent closest to the water, and the more recent stylish wooden beach chairs, and the candy striped changing booths gave it a nice overall look. The walkway at the back of the beach is wide and sturdy, leading to the rebuilt kiln and a winding concrete pathway up to a nice coastal walk. Retreating back to boardwalk and the restaurants and bars, it was pretty quiet, so I pulled up a coffee and paper facing the open sea on the other side of the quayside. Playa San Juan has a nice mix of ex pats and Canarians, not a wild night out resort, but always nice to visit.

 Back on the bus, I was soon in Los Gigantes, sedate at the best of times, but very quiet now the tourists have taken their children back to school. My visiting friends Martin and Vicki were waiting in Offshore 44 at the marina front, a nice place to pass a few hours as the boats bobbed up and down in the harbour. We took off for a walk through Crab Island and up over the mirador into lower Puerto Santiago, a lot of recent development there has revitalised it commercially, just need some visitors in numbers now. Coastal paths are very much in these days in Tenerife, full marks to the councils for improving them, this one led around to Playa Santiago, decked out nicely from the weekends Fiesta Chica. The Virgen del Carmen now resides in an old boat house just near the small black beach, she is always at the centre of the fireworks and other celebrations.

Emerging at the top of the steep ramp, we popped into El Patio bar, recently demolished and rebuilt, I spent quite a few hours glued to the bar there when I lived just up the road. It was good to see a few old friends, many waving as they drove by, even the old Canarian gents on the benches greeted me with their usual good natured banter about CD Tenerife. The Fishermans Museum opposite still makes heads turn with it’s fishing mural all over the facade, complete with statues on the roof, local based French artist Bernard Romain must be proud to see his work stand the test of time and weather so well. Soon it was time to head back south on the trusty TITSA, I’m sure I will be back soon, hopefully to see more visitors enjoying western charms.

A stuffed donkey, a blood covered woman rolling in feathers, and a humming bird in a trance, there’s only one place I could be. TEA (Tenerife Espacio de las Artes) , the wonderful and sometimes downright weird art and culture gallery in Santa Cruz. This was my 4th visit since they opened barely a year ago, it’s always a real treat for all the senses, and depending on your viewpoint, challenging or baffling.

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The exhibitions change and overlap, I started in Sala A where The Collection, the best works of La Laguna’s famous artist, Oscar Dominguez, and Written Portrait, a collection of sketches and photos by Patti Smith, are both finishing on September 6. A brief brush up, reminded me how vibrant Oscar’s slightly surreal works were but as a fan of Patti Smith the leader of the 70’s New York punk scene, I was keen to see her other talents. To be blunt , the sketches looked like a childs scribble, and the polaroids were pretty ordinary, a few too many rock and roll Woodbines over the years for Patti I feel. Tucked just inside Sala A is Area 60, a small room reserved for experimental performance and active art, the latest being Impasse by Beatriz Lecuona and Oscar Hernandez, which I just missed “going off” at 1pm, it also does its thing at Noon, 5pm, 6pm and 7pm, more of that later.

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The main Sanata Cruz library (above) now resides at TEA, in a bright modern setting with loads of work spaces for students to study, there is also a cinema that shows international films of note in their original language, normally 4 euros, seperate or extra to the main admission prices. Sala B was calling, offering Mexico, Expected/Unexpected, and this is where it got very strange. This collection from Isabel and Agustin Coppel sprawls through several rooms, starting with displays of shovels and a forest of scrap metal, representing the hard labour the poor people of Mexico were made to endure to raid the country’s natural wealth for rich exploiters.

Then I turned a corner, and saw such an ass, no not a mirror, an actual stuffed donkey sat in a corner, looking fairly relaxed considering what had happened to it. The surprises came thick and fast now, a video of a Humming Bird,enticed into a trance – possibly one of Paul McKennas tricks, and a video room showed a young naked Cuban lady empty a jug of blood over herself at the edge of a lake, before rolling in a pile of white feathers. A bit further, another video area showed a tug of war with men pulling a white Volkswagen in several directions as a band played a cover of Moby Dick by Led Zepplin – are you confused yet, I was.

Sala C was pretty tame in comparison, Mi Colecion de Vidas by Alexis W, head and shoulder photos of the artist and friends, set against a black background, quite haunting. I adjourned at this point back into the outside world for food and drink as I digested all I had seen. One last pleasure drew me back for 5pm, Impasse was due to blow. A large “fireplace” for want of a better word, stood against a white wall, the staff, who again outnumbered the visitors, were as fascinated as I was as a rumbling sound was followed by a cascade of black plastic paint, which went on for around 5 minutes, strangely hypnotic. My suggestion to the staff, that the paint could be replaced with chocolate or Dorada got a chuckle and little resistance.

I may sound a bit cynical, but TEA is a firm favourite with me, always fun, interesting and different, I just wish more people would visit it. TEA is open from 10am to 8pm Tuesday to Sunday, entrance is 5 euros for adults, 2.50 euros for residents, one euro for over 65’s and under 26’s and FREE for under 12’s. Check out the website and pop in soon, you would be an ass to miss it.