The stonking rainbow as we approached Santa Cruz should have ended at Ayoze Perez, CD Tenerife’s pot of gold, but he had lead in his boots and a big money transfer on his mind in the 1-1 draw with Real Zaragoza.

It was cold in the Heliodoro but a great game to watch had the poor 7,180 crowd in good voice as Tenerife shaded the first half. Suso was in dazzling form again and new forward Juanjo had an encouraging home debut, with Cristo, Ricardo, and Aitor Sanz playing well in midfield there was plenty to cheer. Ayoze didn’t look sharp but a brilliant run down the right by Suso ended with a tuck back to Juanjo who powered his header into the net for a 26 minute lead.

Even the biblical rain lashing in couldn’t dampen our spirits and we just needed another goal in the second half to snuff out a good Zaragoza side but missed chances again cost us, Ayoze wasn’t on form and Moyano’s long range dig was the closest to increasing the lead. Roberto had been impressing with quick decisive interceptions but the young goalie made a hash of his timing when trying to punch away the ball and Arzu had an easy headed leveler. Tenerife tried hard at the end but Ayoze missed a tap in at the post and made poor contact with a headed chance while sub Edgar couldn’t find the net with the goalie stranded. A draw was a fair reflection but if only…

Sunday morning a few of us headed to Granadilla to see CD Tenerife B, we got there to find both teams and the crowd waiting outside a locked stadium. With the severe weather alert issued the previous day the local council had decided it would be too dangerous to play the game even though it was a lovely crisp sunny morning. Eventually the fire brigade and Guardia Civil arrived and the firemen went in to inspect the ground and repair a small break in a high fence, the game started 90 minutes late. Hope this doesn’t  happen in the World Cup final.

Second placed Atletico Granadilla looked better on the day and eventually won 2-0 against the divisions leaders. It was a bizarre setting with the snow blanketing the hills above the ground while the sun made it a very warm, I definitely felt overdressed in my animal furs and Cossacks hat. The Tenerife B team has lost several key players to the seniors this season and still done really well but Granadilla wore them down and took advantage of a couple of silly errors for the goals to win 2-0 . With Marino winning away the top four promotion play off spots are really cut and thrust.

I thought things couldn’t get stranger but later that afternoon in Los Cristianos I went for a pizza at the Auditorio café, they had new staff and the bloke told me he would have a go at cooking my pizza and I would only have to pay if he didn’t ruin it. Just as well I didn’t order anything more complicated. The pizza was fine but as I ate it an old chap wobbled by juggling on a unicycle – well it was that sort of a weekend.

What a great time of season to hit top form, CD Marino followed up last weeks 0-1 win at leaders Granadilla with a spirited home comeback to see off third placed Mensajero 2-1. A subtle change has taken place in the team over the season and the newer players are making it hard for the old guard to keep a shirt.

Opening exchanges were pretty even, Airam and Lamine had half chances, the first running into a knot of defenders and the second shooting high and wide. The La Palma visitors looked a good side, well organized, big, strong and ready to exploit any weaknesses. Pulido was drifting in from his right back slot and Yeray took advantage of the space in the home defence.

Juanda was a bit slow for Mensajero when through on goal, he got a touch to the ball but it trickled slowly and Alberto was able to collect it. Murci is the goal machine for Marino, he turned brilliantly in the box and put the ball in the visitors net only to see it ruled out. Alberto did well coming to grab the ball at the edge of his area but going forward much of Marino’s play seemed hit and hope. Yosimar saw his rocket shot go wide and the half ended all square.

Marino were the better side from the start in the second half, Murci thought he was through but Hernandez was strong in defence and denied him. Mensajero suffered a setback after 54 minutes when Alfredo was sent off for a second booking, from the free kick Luis did well to punch away a Marino shot.

Facundo Valiente came on for Yosimar and added another striking option for the blues, Pablo could have grabbed the lead, his shot was a bit soft and drifted wide. It should have got easier for Marino but Mensajero shocked them with 15 minutes gone, Muda pounced from a corner to put them ahead. It put some urgency into Marino and they snapped back with Pablo heading in a goal from a floating right cross. It was all Marino now, youngster Fran Alonso came on and what a good player he looked, he couldn’t quite convert a set up from Murci and followed up with a header that just missed the target.

Lamine opened up Mensajero with a deep cross and sub Balduino showed great control to loop it into the top corner of the goal. The minutes were ticking away and the home victory looked assured, Alonso made fools of two defenders with his close control and was eager to take players on down both wings. It’s looking good for Marino, up to third place, this weekend they travel to Puerto de la Cruz to play Union Vera.

Over on the mainland CD Tenerife paid the price for poor finishing, mainly from Ayoze as Barcelona B took a 2-0 win. Aridane was still injured and joined on the treatment table by Borja, there was a debut for new signing Edgar who looked useful on the left wing. A Denis free kick after 25 minutes and a Nieto goal in the second half sealed the score. This Saturday it’s Zaragoza at home at 5pm, and a chance to see a few of the new players.

It must be quite frightening to face Tenerife forwards Ayoze and Suso when they hit top form, and they certainly hit it this week. Mirandes were blown away in a 3-0 home win that broke the home goal drought.

There was plenty of room for surprises with the four January captures in the squad but they will have to wait, not so Alberto who replaced Bruno in the heart of the defence and Borja in for the suspended Aridane. What a revelation Borja was, normally as alert as the staff at the Oasis, this week he was sparkling from the kick off, enjoying a supporting role with Ayoze rather than his normal deeper slot. When everyone’s choice to leave in January did a neat back heel the gasps of astonishment could be heard back in Kilmarnock.

The main items on a mouth watering menu were Suso and Ayoze, they didn’t give the poor Mirandes side any rest, Borja set up Ayoze for an early pop that Prieto saved then Suso got the same result from the keeper. Cristo was working hard in midfield, he hustled two markers to make an opening, Camara was surging forward from left back, and there was a nice flow to Tenerife’s play. The opener was worth the wait, after 35 minutes Ayoze held the ball up brilliantly as Carlos Ruiz raced through and scored from the tuck back.

Roberto had little to do, even Icod born Iriome couldn’t give Mirandes any encouragement. The second half was a golden opportunity to pile on the goals, the early raids didn’t quite pay off, even when Ayoze tied the defence in knots and nearly forced an own goal. Rivero came on for Borja after 62 minutes and the sound of applause must have been sweet music after so many previous harsh farewells. Nano arrived for Cristo, he already looks comfortable in the seniors and his first goal will ignite him, in the meantime he will learn so much from Suso and Ayoze.

The second goal was delightful, a deep pass from Ricardo found Suso, he cut inside and left two defenders in his wake as he cracked in a wonderful goal. A few minutes later he broke again and Ayoze was thinking ahead, when the cross came over Ayoze dived into it and headed his tally up to 10 for the season.  It was so nice to get back to celebrating after the last few dismal home losses. Hopefully we have learned our lesson and wont get carried away.

The good thing about the noon kick offs at CD Marino is it gives me time to cram more adventures into the day. The top four clash between the Las Americas blues and CD Tenerife B didn’t turn out to be a classic but it was a good chance to see some of the next generation of blanquiazul players.

My memory said the San Sebastian parade of horses had taken place earlier in the week at La Caleta but the pitch at Marino looked like a stampede had taken place on it. All eyes were on 16 goal Murci of Marino and 15 goal Jefte of Tenerife but both had quiet games. Marino had the greater need for a win and were on top most of the time but didn’t push home their superiority. With the constant upward movement of young players at CDT it can’t be easy for the B side, Nano was on senior duty and the promising Jairo was missing in midfield.

Murci had a couple of early pops at Carlos in goal, he was worth pressuring as he kept punching instead of catching the ball. Jefte looked good, big and strong I reckon he is a better bet than Aridane at the moment but even his close skills couldn’t beat Alberto in the home goal. Joshua in midfield was buzzing but the full backs impressed me, the pint sized terrier Verdes on the left and the calm captain Alejandro on the right. It had 0-0 written all over it, Tenerife switched off, happy for a draw and Marino didn’t have enough to breach the visiting defence although Lamine was always ready to have a go.

A quick dash to the bus station and up to La Laguna via Santa Cruz and the tram. The cathedral was open to the public after 12 years and 15 million euros, it was pretty damm impressive even to a sinner like me. The police had a jostle with 3,000 students the day before as Spain’s minister for culture and education did the big reopening. I’m still upset they closed the duck pond outside the cathedral and relocated the feathered friends to a pie shop.

Tram down to the capital to suss out a German navy tall mast ship called Gorch Fock, there were three in port when I arrived, the Alexander Von Humbolt 2, been on that before, and from Norway the Stratsraad Lemkuhl. With my camera topped up with the ships I was looking for somewhere to watch Hercules v CD Tenerife, the Fred Olsen ferry bar had it on so I sat in there with some very drunk old locals and watched CDT go 0-2 up and the have to get a late 2-3 winner after slipping. Well done Carlos Ruiz with a header and Ayoze Perez taking his tally to 9 in 20 games – hope we don’t lose him in the January transfer window. A bus back home and a very satisfying day wrapped up.

Had I known that CD Tenerife were going to play this badly I would have brought some sand bags back from Oxford to shore up our leaky defence. Maybe I could have also invited the stewardess from my return flight along to stand outside the dressing room and tell the players “your nearest exits are here and here”. The 0-4 home defeat to Alcorcon was a rude awakening for me as I caught up with the weeks footie events on the rock.

 To finance wages for new players in the January transfer window, Sergio Aragoneses, Raul Llorente, and Oscar Rico had been released, they wouldn’t have played anyway but the suspended Aitor Sanz, Bruno, and Ricardo were a bigger miss. If you think I’m softening you up to explain away the poor showing, absolutely not, the whole team was awful. Bruno holds the defence together and it was clear from the start that his stand in Rigo didn’t have his authority and influence. Pacheco had pace and pulled him and Raul Camara all over the place, the Alcorcon striker hooked an early shot over but was involved in the build up after 14 minutes as unmarked Javito tucked in the opener.

 The marking was ridiculous as up to three players were drawn to a visiting attacker all the time, Prendes glanced a shot off his boot but Roberto had it covered before the second goal duly arrived from an easy tuck back in the box to Javito in loads of space. At the other end Tenerife couldn’t produce any threat, the midfield offered worse service than the Oasis and Aridane was again playing a little deeper and was having a nice nap. Ayoze didn’t look sharp, maybe he is getting found out a bit now and Suso gets closed out of the game by good defenders who know his style. Two down at half time was just about redeemable partly thanks to Roberto’s save to deny Javito his hat trick before the break.

 The injured Rigo was replaced by Chechu before the restart with Inigo Ros filling his role and off we went again but looking even more sluggish. The Alcorcon goalie gave us the come on with a few dodgy pick ups but no one was biting. Ayoze had a half chance with a header but his marker got up for it as well and deflected it away, Chechu launched a tempting cross, still no takers. A gamble was needed and coach Cervera gave a debut to 18 year old forward Nano in place of Raul Camara, he almost got a first touch to score as the ball was scrambled wide by the goalie. Then Roberto was found wanting, he should have intercepted a corner from Pacheco but missed horribly leaving Verdes a simple header into the net.

 Alberto got some more game time taking over from the invisible Rivero, the local player is edging towards the exit but for my money he deserves a decent run in the team. It didn’t make any difference on the night, Juli finished the humiliation to make it 0-4 and the 7,937 crowd could hardly believe what a shambles they were watching. We need new strikers before the window slams shut and a ball winning play maker in midfield – well we can but hope.

When the punch has been drunk and the drunks have been punched normality returns and what better way to start 2014 than with a weekend of wins. CD Marino started the second half of their season with a comfortable 2-0 home win over UD Las Zocas.

The pitch looked a bit shell shocked after a 26 game blitz in last weeks Arona 7’s competition, taking the pre match team shots out in the middle I was worried some of the under 12 players might still be trapped under the divots. It was going to be a full bloodied derby with Saul and Rayco playing under coach Willy Barroso back on their old home ground.

Jesua wide on the left for the visitors showed some fancy footwork before unleashing a long range shot that just curled past home keeper Alberto. Shoot on sight seemed to be the Las Zocas policy, Jesua had another flash at goal before Pulido for Marino had their first effort, a strong strike that Isaac took well.

Marino started to take control but Cabrera was strong in the heart of the Las Zocas defence especially with powerful clearing headers. It needed that bit of class to beat the visitors resistance and Murci is just the man for that job, he showed his strength and determination crashing through his markers and hooking the ball into the net for the lead.

Helio blasted a shot high over the Marino bar and then set himself up well for another pop but couldn’t match it with a measured finish. Aaron Darias could have ended the half with a second goal but was torn between a cross and a shot and missed his chance. It didn’t take long after the break for Marino to get their deserved second, Murci was patient and completely fooled Cabrera to score again. Helio went close with a shot that Alberto got a foot to and a quick break produced a tremendous diving save from the keeper as he changed direction at the last moment.  Las Zocas faded quickly after that, Marino made changes from the bench and were even able to take Murci off. The win was much needed with the tide lapping at Marino in fourth spot.

The day before in Murcia a performance of great character from CD Tenerife got them back to winning ways with a 1-2 win. Maybe they rode their luck a bit but with Ayoze back in the side they were always in the hunt. After 11 minutes the young striker set up Aridane to open the scoring. Kike Garcia was the home sides main weapon and after a poor clearance he pounced to level on the half hour. Ayoze’s tactical awareness forced a foul from Murcia and Loro, another returnee to the line up, fired in the spot kick just before the break. Tenerife held on well, Garcia spurned his big chance with just 10 minutes to go, he had room in the area but wasn’t up to the job. Two home games on the trot and Tenerife have a chance to get well away from the dreaded relegation zone.

There were no jumpers for goals, and no doggy droppings in sight, and the young players had loads of class and skill, apart from that it reminded me of my youth as a fairly hopeless but keen park footballer. The best antidote to too much Christmas is the annual Arona 7’s tournament for some of the best under 12 teams in Europe. This year the three day binge of footie was better than ever topped off with a cracking final that saw Espanyol beat Real Madrid 3-2.

At the moment senior football is pretty depressing with dodgy chairman who can’t tell their Arsenal from their elbow, overpaid players with huge egos, and corporate idiots trying to transform it from a game into a product. It really is a breath of fresh air to see the young players producing good flowing football, ok I know it’s a smaller pitch and short games, 12 minutes a half in the groups and up to 20 a half in the final, but the love of the game is untarnished.

I went down all three days to cover nearly all the games, all matches were free but my press pass meant I could go down at pitch level, trip over camera cables, try to pose the teams for group shots, and generally be a pest. It was all shown on Canal Plus and a couple of other cable stations, I was impressed to see the two roving female interviewers competing to see who could look the most ravishing. I’d call it a very nice draw – extra time back at my place? No, oh well worth a thought. It was strange to see knee high players getting a camera and microphone shoved in their face at the end of the games but they all took it in their stride.

Chelsea were the English entrant, I met the coaching staff, nice bunch and very helpful, and got some background info. Sadly they lost all three group games but they did have Real Madrid and Espanyol, the two best sides, in their group. The organization of the tournament was spot on with all games starting on time, unthinkable for Tenerife, and they did everything possible to look after the teams, Chelsea were able to join the other teams that fell at the group stage in an informal competition in the smaller stadium next door.

There were plenty of ex old pros coaching and making guest appearances. Our local police are very macho and stern but I saw one of them approach an ex player, Canizares I think, and pose with him for a phone photo that his beat partner took, for a moment he was like a star struck kid, football does that to grown men. Another nice extra was a penalty shoot out each day where the young players got a chance to take pot shots at Esteban, the Almeria goalie who had popped  along.

Back to the pitch, the crowds were good throughout, even for the 9.30 am games, but by the final there was 7,500 packed in, a large amount were there to support Real Madrid – don’t start me on that one. I wanted Espanyol, their football had been classy but not showy, and they had several quality players like their busy number nine Reda, a very English style striker. Espanyol built a quick 2-0 lead with goals from Reda and Alejandro, it could have been more against a jittery Madrid keeper but they survived the rest of the first 20 minutes.

At half time I loitered by the Espanyol bench, their coach Carles Martinez was going frantic doing little diagrams on a mini chalk board but then took off Reda and Alejandro, their other best player, that gave Madrid hope and they pulled a quick goal back. Luckily there is a roll on roll off rule for subs in this event so back came the dynamic duo and Nicolas nipped in with a third goal. Madrid showed great spirit and pulled one back with three minutes left to ensure a squeaky bum finish. A match to please everyone, it was great to see Espanyol celebrate with their trophies and uplifting to see the way the other teams and coaches congratulated them. Thanks to all for some top class entertainment.

It felt like Santa had driven a snow plough through all our vain promotion hopes, this was a dose of reality we didn’t expect or need as Sabadell nicked the Christmas presents with a well deserved 0-3 win. I know Christmas is a time for giving but Tenerife went beyond being generous hosts and looked like they had just stumbled out of an office party. Ayoze was a shock omission from the squad – apparently he had gastro enteritis (gut rot) just before the game, lets hope that isn’t code for he has been sold ahead of the January window.

Whatever went on behind the scenes this was a truly awful display and showed how alarmingly short of strikers we are, Oscar Rico started and was a waste of space. Borja Perez replaced Rico for the second half and looked even worse – the exit door is that way Borja. The defence was struggling from the start, the opening goal after five minutes was an easy pot by Crespi from the right post after Sabadell ripped open our back markers with ease. Surely a wake up call, but alas no, Suso was the only player all game to show any urgency but he was well marked by the visitors, and the midfield had no ideas at all.

There were plenty of comedy moments if you could stomach it, Moyano’s sloppy back header that left Roberto stranded, a glaring Oscar Rico miss, and Aridane ending the half gazing into space when he should have had a shot with a loose ball. There was worse to come in the second half, the introduction of Borja hardly inspired us, our play was still littered with disjointed, badly timed, and downright stupid passes. Sabadell started the day below us but they played really well, they had the hunger and determination and their tactics were spot on.

Moyano, has he ever had a worse game, gave away a clear penalty and former Tenerife player Hidalgo scored from the spot. The biggest low in a night of bad pantomime came when Sabadell goalie Nauzet made a hash of trying to head away thee ball, it spun off to Borja (pictured above) but the clown showed he is even worse with his head by steering the ball wide. The final blow came 15 minutes from the end when Camara gave away another clear penalty, another taker, Anibal, but the same result, a gift goal. Feliz Navidad Blanquiazul proclaimed the scoreboard every few minutes, bah humbug replied the crowd with whistles and jeers as many of the 8,924 streamed out. Someone or something seems to have peed in the Christmas punch, let’s see what revelations come out of the club before the next game on 4^th January.

It was the day of the Walk For Life and also the day CD Tenerife’s eight game unbeaten run ended with a 1-0 loss at Cordoba. The 1,020 euros raised by the Armada Sur and a chance to pay our tribute to recently lost Karen Andrews and Lil Jessop was much more relevant to us than a blip in an ever improving football season.

Many of the walkers wore pink but CD Tenerife were in their blue away strip but I have plumped for pics of our players in the clubs third choice pink strip, another fund raiser for cancer charities. Feedback from our small traveling force advised us it was a cold one in Cordoba and the pitch looked icy and treacherous. Coach Alvaro Cervera started with a less cautious home like formation, Aridane, Ayoze, and Suso up front and Salva Ruiz winning the call to replace the suspended Raul Camara at left back.

It worked well enough for the first half but came adrift in the second. Aday came on for Sanz in the second half and took up a position of the left, it nearly gave Tenerife the advantage after he combined with Aridane to set up Ayoze for an easy looking chance but he wasted it. Uli had been the main threat for Cordoba but Roberto had him in his pocket. The deciding goal came from Abel, there was definitely a hint of offside but he finished well to warm up the home fans after 67 minutes.

Changes were needed to chase the game, Chechu replaced Suso but it merely took the sting out of the Tenerife attack. Ricardo followed later as the ineffective Rivero went off, again it failed to inspire a comeback. Roberto made sure the deficit wasn’t doubled with a late great save from Silva. It would have been nice to jump Las Palmas in the table but with the Pios in free fall that pleasure may come our way later.

Monty Python should update the parrot sketch for their reunion. “This is an ex Pio, bereft of life it rests in peace.” Las Palmas may have helped to dig their own hole when goalie Barbosa snapped at Suso’s back leg to give away a penalty but CD Tenerife were well worth their 3-0 home win.

Three years since the last derby and the 18,070 crowd was buzzing, around a 1,000 pios were perched up top at the far end but they couldn’t compete with the tremendous tifo that greeted the teams onto the pitch. Ayoze was straight at them with a volley that wasn’t far off the mark and a goal ruled out for an offside header on from Aridane. The game was only 19 minutes old when captain for the night Suso threatened to go through for a solo goal, Barbosa came off his line and miss timed his dive taking Suso’s back leg from under him. It had to be a penalty and it had to be a red card for the keeper, The first task for sub goalie Lizdain was to pick Ricardo’s penalty out of the net.

What a launch pad for Tenerife, they didn’t waste it and piled the pressure on the pios, Cristo was halted in front of goal by a yellow defender and Ricardo ended the half with a wide shot while Roberto had little apart from the odd cross to deal with. Las Palmas are flying this season and had plenty of danger men but the Tenerife defence was outstanding, Ruiz didn’t put a foot wrong and Camara just gets better and better.

Aridane opened the second half with a glaring miss and at the other end Deivid didn’t even get his curling free kick on target. Rivero replaced a bloodied Ricardo just in time to see the lead doubled. Aitor Sanz threaded a lovely ball to Ayoze and he pulled wide before slotting the ball in the corner of the net, the pios were looking as sick as a parrot. The Heliodoro was rocking and the players were in party mood picking over the remains of their tamed visitors. Suso was having another fine day at the office and his hard work and pass to Ayoze gave our wonder kid his second goal of the night.

What a magnificent performance and doesn’t the Segunda league table look good now, Tenerife are in 11^th place and just a win behind the promotion slots – aspirations of promotion maybe? Santa Cruz was a happy place to be Wednesday night – even the working girls on the road down from the ground gave our coach a few suggestive wiggles of celebration.