March 17, that was the day I was shown around Siam Park, the water kingdom theme park in Costa Adeje, that was already well over a year late to open. There was clearly quite a bit left to do, none of the rides were ready to board, although I did get to go to the top of the Tower of Power, where a workman was still on all fours cementing the tower edging. I was quite happy to report the stated May 1 opening date, but that soon came and went.

Now the headlines in the local press are proudly announcing the September 15 official inauguration of the park, complete with guest of honour, the Princess of Thailand. Sadly it’s another false dawn, the inauguration is behind closed doors for dignitaries, politicians etc and it will not signal the opening to the public. Given the usual vague nature of the latest press release, I contacted the press department to clarify things and got a reply saying “We are planning on doing a soft opening after the inauguration ceremony and then open to the public. We will notify when we have an exact date.”

The soft opening is the vital testing period by invited parties of people, ticket sales agents, tour operators etc, to try out the facilities. No matter how good any plans are, there are always practical problems once in use, in the building trade they always have to deal with a “snagging list” of such problems, once a place is in use.Until that hurdle is jumped, there can be no proper opening date, if the soft opening discovers problems, then there could be even more delay.

It’s not good for the image of Tenerife, holiday makers that felt let down at not being able to visit Siam Park, are now coming back for their next holiday and finding it still “nearly ready” you would think someone might be keen to recoup some of the 55 million euros (Siam Parks figure) it has cost to build.Oh well, roll on christmas.

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You can tell the year has sped by, when the annual Pinolere craft show gears up for three days of tasty history, high up above Puerto de la Cruz, in the foothills of the La Orotava valley. This year will be the 23rd annual show and it runs from Friday September 5 to Sunday September 7.

So what’s the big attraction, I have been to 4 of the last 5, basically its a combination of the setting and the large concentration of every food, craft and ancient art that the Canary Islands can muster. The village has about 700 inhabitants and all year they keep alive the old skills and trade the cereals and products they make, but the annual show is a chance to throw open the doors to around 40,000 people over the 3 days.

One of the big regular events of the show, is the International Cestoria competition, thats basket weaving to you and me. Last year this and the other stalls attracted entrants from 30 countries among the 128 exhibitors. I always find it a challenge to see how much home made cheese, biscuits, cake, wine and sweets I can get through, well it’s all cheap and cheerful. Follow that up with some beer and traditional meat and potatoes or sweetcorn, and the day flows nicely. My only dissapointment was finding that the making of the famous La Palma cigars didn’t involve rolling them on the thighs of young Canarian women.

The showground covers 10,000 square metres in several layers of terraced hillside below the majestic pine forest, topped with low cloud. If the sun breaks through, it can be gorgeous, but otherwise a spare layer of clothing is a good idea. Good news this year, Titsa, the green national bus company, are running shuttle buses from La Orotava bus station. As is the way out here, timings are a bit flaky, sort of every hour, but be a bit flexible, at least there are some nice cafes at the bus station. As for driving, it is sign posted up from Puerto de la Cruz, and you can’t argue at 2.50 euros to get in.

Even out here in the land of sunshine the credit crunch is biting, and coupled with the dwindling number of tourists, the euro is under pressure. But hold on, who is that wrinkly looking savior, leaping to the rescue? it’s our old friend the pesata, gone but not forgotten, it is now being used to prop up struggling business’s.

A dry cleaners, Tintoreria Avenida,  in Las Palmas, Gran Canaria has started accepting pesatas, and customers are taking the bait. The Euro was brought in just over 6 years ago, amid a lot of wailing and gnashing of teeth, but Banco España will still convert pesatas into euros, but you have to have a decent amount. The bank estimates that there is still a staggering 1,778 million euros worth of pesatas out there, made up of 950 million in notes and the rest in coins.

Even now, quite a few Spanish products and services have the euro and pesata price shown, and many older citizens refer back to pesatas to guage how much something is in “real money”. A lot of people blame the introduction of the euro for prices going up, but some business owners chose to round up prices out of greed, while others did a straight conversion.

All this could be to come for the UK one day, then maybe spending a penny will become known as euro-nating. Although there are a few other places in mainland Spain that will take the pesata, it’s a gimmick and the Pios of Gran Canaria seem to have embraced the euro, they don’t mind using them as missiles to throw at Tenerife fans in the derby games.

Still, it might be worth while diving down the back of your sofa, to see if you can find a Fistful Of Pesatas, someone must have the missing ones. Just a thought, if shops are going to open up to other currency, I have some UK change I can try and pass off, and maybe those 1970 Esso World Cup coins could buy me a few bottles of Dorada.

It must be a good sign that big companies are ready and willing to plough large sums of money into Tenerife developments, I wonder if they allow a few extra months as standard for delays here, or do they have supreme faith, only to end up pulling their hair out with the rest of us.

Yesterday I went to see the new Tenerife Top Training sports centre just above La Caleta, according to the website, open in June. I trekked up the hill at the side of Golf Costa Adeje, into a heartland of building sites for various projects. Director Carlos Paulsen gave me a thorough guided tour of the site, with our hard hats on, and although the main parts are finished, there is still a lot of work to do before the late August opening of the doors to the public.

The 2 outdoor pools and surrounding area are not only finished but have the lane dividers and blocks in place. The main pool is the Olympic size 50 metres, and the other is half that size, down below, indoors is a therapy and training pool where cameras film swimmers going against a water flow, treadmill style, to be analysed for state of the art bio mechanics.

The football pitches are floodlit, one is grass and the other artificial, they look about ready, but the walkways down to them are a bit of an assault course at the moment, until all the cement work is done. Inside the main building, there are various gyms, changing rooms and physio facilities. It looks good, i just hope they can complete it pretty quick, we don’t need another Siam Park type delay. For a more detailed report, see www.discovercostaadeje.com another of the Sorted Sites commercial websites I copy write for.

As I was in the area, I decided it was time for another visit to the fishing village of La Caleta. It’s a very lovely place where a range of tasty fish reataurants hug the coastline, and large slabs of eroded rock form great surfaces for sun bathing, and launch points into the sea, if you choose not to use the metal ladders provided.

To the west a prominent point has a very enticing pathway leading over to the next bay, I will try that one some time. I have been just off shore there on a boat trip and it looked pretty deserted, but i’m told it is a haven for hippies and nudists, or even nude hippies. La Caleta seemed very quiet, it was 1pm by now but hardly any of the little bars and restaurants had customers, seems a shame seeing the huge 4 and 5 star hotels further to the east, are usually bulging, but I suppose they are all inclusive and seldom venture out of the gardens. It must be particularly cruel if these small family business’s are struggling to survive with all the wealth and oppulence swilling about a short hop away.

The worst sight of my trip was the state of the Playa de la Enramada, former home to the Chirinquito beach bar and chill out area. I knew they were demolishing the bar and “improving” the stretch of beach, but it looks like a war zone at the moment with huge hills of sand and JCB’s ploughing up and down. We can only hope that the finished product isn’t a complete mess.

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Can you guess what I’m wearing? Â It’s an anorak, and I have a thermos flask of cold fruit drink and some sandwiches, yes I’m ready to go tram spotting. Let’s go to Santa Cruz and see what exciting finds I can tick off in my little book.

First up, it’s the CD Tenerife tram, decorated in club colours and logo, to promote the sale of season tickets for the new season. It’s fantastic, but how many of them can they fit in the official CDT merchandise shop.?

Next into the station is the Nelson tram, specially produced to mark the 211 th anniversary of Nelsons defeated attempt to invade Tenerife. That time the Briits were armed with muskets and bayonets and wearing uniforms, but they failed, however barely 200 years later the Brits invaded in much larger numbers, coming in through the front door, armed with sun cream, bottles of Daddies sauce and wearing string vests.

And finally for this spotting trip, we have the Dorada tram, sadly not of the lesser spotted Especial variety, but it still rings my bell. I could spend hours chasing this one up and down the city, and I wonder how much you get back on that size bottle?

These brightly coloured liveries have certainly made the trams even more noticeable and they are constantly changing. If you want to splash out on your own customised tram, it’s just 14,000 euros per month or 20,000 euros for 2 months.

Coming soon on hobby corner, Lighthouse bagging.

Battle has raged in Santa Cruz this weekend, bodies have been battered and bruised, and screams of horror and anguish have rung out as the brightly coloured spoils of war are worn with pride. Anyway, that’s enough about the women at the sales that are under way in the capital, it’s also been the biggest celebration yet of Tenerife’s defeat of the British Navy under Admiral Nelson on July 25 1797.

I went up early on Saturday to take in the big parade and then move on to the Spanish Athletics Championships in Tincer, but reading the paper on the bus, I discovered it was a complete sell out, one hurdle I didn’t see coming. Never mind, the reports of Fridays re-enactment of Nelsons forces landing at Castillo San Juan, next to the auditorium, whet my appetite for the big parade from Plaza del General Weyler (from the Spanish Civil War) , down the Calle del Castillo towards the Plaza de España and the seafront.

The massed ranks of British and Spanish forces arrived at 11.30, right on time, well 211 years late if you want to be picky, and stood easy for countless photo opportunities. I got to speak to some Brits taking part “Rommels Raiders” these lucky chaps get to travel all over the world portraying battles from various ages of British history, and were delighted to be invited to share in La Gesta (an epic achievement). Captain ( Sir Thomas ) Troubridge, looked replendent in his black tunic and white trousers, even if he did have an uncanny resemblence to Stephen Fry. On this occaision he was happy to pose with the “enemy” but all those years ago he took over from Nelson, after the great leader had been blasted in the right elbow by grapeshot from a canon as he came ashore.Â

After a while, the drum rolls summoned the forces together, more than a few had found there way into local bars, and they set off down the Calle with great pomp and style. Reaching the Plaza de la Candelaria, they lined up for inspection by their leaders and speeches were made. The Spanish governor of Tenerife in 1797, Juan Antonio Gutierrez, looking triumphant in his braided hat with white wig and gold cane, congratulated his men on their bravery. The British spokesman, amused the British tourists in the crowd by announcing “we struggled yesterday, but I still think we can win this, and think of the prize money”.

There was a lot of shared language among the rival performers, and some good spirited banter. It’s amazing to think that even after the 226 deaths in the failed attack, Nelson and Gutierrez had such a mutual respect for each other, they swapped gifts and Nelson was invited to dine with the Governor, and Nelsons name is not hated as you might expect, but grudgingly admired to this day. The massed forces set off to the seafront, past the Cabildo (Tenerife government) headquarters, where the flags of Spain, Tenerife and The Canaries fluttered proudly in the breeze. Tonight there will be much dancing and of course fireworks – and maybe even the odd flagon of ale or Tenerife wine.

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That title may not mean much to younger people, but if you are a 40 something, like me, it will conjure up exciting images of strident electronic music, and laser and light displays that would impress even Steven Spielberg, all played out on giant living canvas’s in some of the worlds biggest cities. The French musical genius has been in La Palma and Tenerife over the last few weeks, and the outcome may be one or even two mega performances in 2009.

Just to fill in the blanks, Jean Michel Jarre had 2 blockbusting LP’s in the late 1970’s, Oxygene and Equinoxe and he backed these up with lavish spectacles around the world, several in front of a million plus people such as Rendevous Houston. I saw the Destination Docklands show from london on television at the time and even through that medium, the sheer scale of the event was impressive. As the great man created musical magic on banks of keyboards and synthesisers, lasers played up the side of tower blocks and hi stacked offices.

The Canarian connection has come about through Jean Michel visiting the observatories in Tenerife and La Palma to research his next work, Music Of The Stars. The La Palma observatory at Roque de Los Muchachos has 14 telescopes, including GRANTECAN, which has the biggest segmented primary mirror in the world. It came on line in January 2007 but will be officially inaugurated in 2009 in front of a select audience of politicians, scientists and former Queen guitarist Brian May. If that last name seems out of place, be impressed, Brian started a PHD in Astronomy before his music took off, and recently dusted his work down and completed his studies with research at La Palma and Tenerife observatorys. The freshly qualified guitarist is now writing a special musical fanfare to be performed on GRANTECAN’s big day.

Jean Michel Jarre has been invited to get involved musically in the inauguration, but that is unlikely to be a public event. I did the tour of the observatory 18 months ago, it’s at the highest point in La Palma, 2,400 metres, a good hours drive up the winding roads, the logistics of a major concert would be too much to overcome. Hopefully a big outdoor concert in Tenerife, maybe in somewhere like the Teide national park, could be more practical, but Jean Michel  is very keen, look at his personal blogsite to read his impressions of Tenerife.

Let’s hope something can be organised, because it could be one of the most spectcular things to hit these islands in years. I have a torch and some coloured crepe paper and i’m ready to help out with the special effects, but i suspect they might have something a bit more fancy in mind.

Several long running stories in Santa Cruz have sparked into life, so today was high time I headed up to the capital of Tenerife to check it out. With CD Tenerife taking a summer breather, it’s been a good few weeks since my last visit, so with the north also basking in the heat, I took the 110 direct bus for a one hour, 3.90 euro bono ticket price trip. Changing straight onto the tram, the bono registered a free ride.

Getting off at La Paz and turning into Rambla del General Franco, I passed the old bull ring, see inside here ,one of the reasons for my trip. It’s still proud and peeling and awaiting its fate, which could be decided in the Garcia Sanabria park, a little further on. Santa Cruz council invited local architects to submit plans for the redeveloment of the Plaza de Torros and this Friday, Saturday and Sunday they are on display in the park. I hoped there might be a few entries, but it was a nice surprise to see 35 sets of plans. These were not just your basic technical drawings, but computerised colour mock ups from several angles.

Thankfully, most of them want to keep at least some of the facade of this iconic building, with designs ranging from inspired to “carbuncles” as HRH Charlie would call them, one even looked like the elephant house at London Zoo. All legal residents are allowed a vote so I popped my slip into the ballot box. On July 7, a committee of 13 headed by the Santa Cruz mayor, will add their verdict and then the whole planning merry go round kicks off again.

I’ve gotta mention Parque Garcia Sanabria, not the biggest of parks but truly glorious, with its dense mix of plants and trees little pathways constantly lead you off to new hidden delights like sculptures, water features, a flower clock, a kids train and a cafeteria. The main monument in the centre is quite a work in itself, I thought the large lady might be one of those performing statues, so I kept my distance. The council have also introduced a bike hire scheme from the park at one euro per hour, but I couldn’t find any trace of that, however one of the canarian papers did report it as starting earlier in the week, so hopefully the bikes were all out on hire, and not nicked.

Onward ever onward, around the Rambla del General Franco to the Military Museum of the Canary Islands in Calle San Isidro. This was part of some research on Lord Nelson (see next post) but I didn’t check the opening times and arrived just 30 minutes before the 2 pm closing. It’s a big place, with a very impressive display and is FREE. I got the pics and info I needed but will definately be going back for a more leisurely stroll. This took me almost full circle, you can get to the museum along the Avenida de Anaga on the front, just past the Fred Olsen port.

The other main point of my trip was to see the newly re-opened, but still not finished Plaza de España. It’s taken 2 years, many false dawns and a recent financial top up of 4 million euros from the Tenerife government to bring the toal spend to nearly 20 million, split 80 % to 20 % in favour of the government over the Santa Cruz council.

The trees around the edge of the park look good, the 61 year old Monument to the Fallen has scrubbed up well and the 2 bronze 1,000 kilo statues on guard look good, if a little cheeky. Three large buildings, one already destined to be the new tourism office, have their sloping roofs climbed by 5,000 plants arranged by French designer Patrick Blanc (please no jokes about uphill gardeners) . The big centrepiece should be the 2,500 cubic metre lake, but instead of being full of sea water from deep underground wells, there is just a small puddle in the centre, and the 30 metre high geyser is not spurting. Hardly any of the 122 parking places below are in use yet and the remains of the San Cristobal castle, also below are not on show yet. The finishing touches will take “some weeks” apparently, what a shame, the lighting draped across the plaza is in place and looks stunning at night, but is supposed to relect off the lake for full effect.

I eagerly await the completion of Plaza de España and look forward to seeing how many people can end up in the lake at Carnaval time.

It’s pitch black, i’m sat on a cold solid lava ledge that was formed 27.000 years ago, i’m deep underground below Icod de los Vinos, and there’s not a sound to be heard. After what seems like an eternity, the Cueva del Viento guide, switches his torch back on, the signal for the 20 or so explorers in this volcanic tunnel, to switch their helmet lights back on as well. Suddenly we all re-appear in the eerie half light, just a minutes example of the islolation felt down in the Cave of the Wind.

The three levels of volcanic tubes bored through the rock have been closed to the public for the last 15 years but this week the public were at last allowed in again, and I was chomping at the bit to be among the first. Plans were well advanced to re-open before 6 people died from inhaling volcanic gas in water filled galleries in nearby Los Silos in Febrauary 2007. They were part of an unguided party, since then safety has been tightened around the many caves that are a legacy of Tenerife’s volcanic nature.

The tubes were produced when Pico Viejo on the east slope of Mount Teide disgorged its red hot lava 27,000 years ago, and other eruptions since have added to the 17 kms of tunnels, one of the biggest collections in the world. From end to end they drop some 470 metres and reach nearly as far as the sea at Playa San Marcos, and the three layers are inter connected by wells, fissures and at one point a 17 metre deep chasm.

My day started with a 460 bus to Icod de Los Vinos, just 3 euros with a Bono ticket, and a one and a half hour journey from Los Cristianos. Once there I met up with explorer, naturalist and writer, Steve Andrews, better known as the green bearded Bard of Ely, a genuine Welsh Druid. A taxi to the village of Cueva Del Viento took just 10 minutes and cost nearly 5 euros, it’s all a steep uphill drive, definately not for walking. The new visitors centre is just opposite a small bar/restaurant and the mid day sun was hot and glorious, be warned, it’s usually a little cooler up north and can be cloudy with some rain. The website advises wearing hiking boots but as I don’t have any I hoped my sturdy trainers would be ok, as it turned out many others in the group had similar foot wear, several were in shorts and even sandals, but that is really risky.

Putting on our hard helmets complete with front light connected to a power pack belt, we piled into a mini bus for the 10 minute drive uphill, then we had a steep 30 minute hike up through the pine forest with teasing views of Mount Teide through the foliage and fire blackened trees from last summers big outbreak. Our entrance to the caves was down below a metal grid, first on carved stone steps and then onto a metal staircase. A delicious chill greeted us, I was in shirt sleeves but it didn’t feel cold, we fanned out in a circle in the first chamber as our guide gave us some relevant facts, using one of several charts posted in the tunnels in Spanish and English. Moving on and down, the floor became very uneven and rocky and we barely had headroom above us. Trying to take photos whilst co-ordinating the helmet light and keeping feet well anchored was a challenge but a welcome one.

There are thousands of rare species of insects living in the caves but we only saw a few spiders, but then we only explored a set 1,200 metre stretch. At various points, other small tunnels shot off at tangents above and around us, and our lights could only disturb the dark for a limited distance. I had always thought of caves as moist, but these tunnels were dry, even though in places, strands of pine roots poked through the rough ceiling.

 At the end of our route, we found a deep chasm with another small upward entry/exit beyond it, sealed with a strong iron grid. The contrast of the bright sun and the meeting of the warm and chilled air gave a strange feel to the surroundings. That marked our turning point, and we retraced our steps, this time in an upward manner. Before long we were back at the stairs, and clambered up to wince at the sunlight and remove the irritating but vital helmets. Walking back to the minibus, we realised we had been down the tunnels for over 90 minutes, although we had barely made a dent on the labyrinth of tubes.

This was definatley well worth the wait, the trip was FREE, but will be reviewed at the end of July to maybe set a regular charge. There are 2 trips a day at 10 am and Noon and you need to book first via the website or by calling 922815339. Groups are set for around 20 people and their rating of medium difficulty is about right.

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I smell like a kipper, that’s not a boast, and i’m not launching my own special fragrance, it’s just an after effect of enjoying the Noche de San Juan on Las Vistas beach, here in Los Cristianos, Tenerife. The festival of Saint John is centred on the summer solstice and midsummer day, and across Spain it’s the signal for bonfires on the beaches, through the night.

The themes of cleansing and renewal are very strong, the flames of the fire will purify your soul, all you have to do is jump over the fire three times. There are lots of regional variations, many people last night were dropping slips of paper into the fire, these are lists of problems, mistakes and bad habits, all things that the flames will hopefully burn away.

As I headed down to the beach, the smell of burning mingled with that of food cooking, and what a pleasant aroma it was. Arriving at the front at 11pm, it was heaving with people, a band was playing live Canarian music, and people of all ages were up and dancing, Canarian potatoes and fish was being served up to anyone who fancied it and the mood was happy and relaxed. There were 4 or 5 huge bonfires spread out along the beach, and many smaller ones scattered all around, all down the sand to the shore.

It annoys me when people in the UK sneer at Tenerife, it’s not perfect, but it’s great for families. Large groups were gathered around the various bonfires, parents with their children happily running about in the sand, and even a few pet dogs scampered in the sand. Most people were drinking, the ever popular clinking carrier bags kept appearing and several of the beach front bars were open, please note UK, flowing alcohol and people having fun, doesn’t have to mean violence.

The sea is another great cleanser, many were stripping down to their cozzies and diving into the waves, emerging to dry off round a bonfire. At midnight, a statue of San Juan was carried out into the sea and splashed liberally with water, candles were lit on the beach and flowers placed into the sea, as the dancing and drinking flowed on until dawn. I left at 2am and there were still thousands of people, getting a little sand between their toes, as San Juan looked on.

And the day after…I went for my beach swim early this afternoon, and it was like nothing had happened on the beach. The promenade was clean and the bins had all been emptied, on the beach there was no debris from the fires, no bottles or glass, not even a stray chicken bone. They had even put up some temporary seating for a forthcoming volleyball tournament. Top marks to Arona council and their team of cleaners.

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