You may have noticed from Los Cristianos harbour, that I have a new hobby, making models and have just finished 2 very impressive looking full size ships.

The grey metallic looking one is the Academik Sergey Vavilov, an Oceanography vessel, built in Finland in 1988 for Russia. It has charted the waters of the Arctic and Antartic and is taking a short break on it’s way to the next survey.

The four mast tall ship is the Kruzenshtern, built in Germany in 1926 and repatriated to Russia after World War Two. It is the second biggest of it’s kind in the World, 114 metres long with a tallest mast of 51.3 metres and a top speed of 17 knots. Don’t be fooled by the canon hatches down each side, they are just for show. I had some trouble painting the tricky corners on this one and if you look carefully you will see that I ran out of parts and used a Spitfire propeller for one of the cross masts, but a decent effort, if I say so myself, although it cost me a fortune in little tins of Humbrol paint.

The Kruzenshtern is filming and will be around Los Cristianos until October 19.

Here’s an update to a previous post. Iron Maiden tribute band, Esclavitud (Bondage) will still be playing in La Laguna on Thursday September 20th at 9.30pm, but the venue has been changed to the Plaza del Cristo (also known as Plaza de San Francisco) and it is FREE. The local band also have a new disc out on October 5 called, Involucion (Regression) which you can buy from selected music shops in La Laguna. The band will use the concert to celebrate the 25 years since The Number Of The Beast single was released – go on lads, make me feel old, why don’t you.

If you think that’s a weird gig, try this! On Saturday October 6th at 10 pm Kiss Forever, a Hungarian Kiss tribute band, will play the car park in Calle la Noria, Santa Cruz. Tickets are a mere €18 in advance or €21 on the night at the box office, honestly I haven’t been on the Dorada.

Oh dear, looks like another musical let down for Tenerife. Elton John will not be playing in Santa Cruz in November or any time this year. Who says so? the editor of his official website, here is a reply to my email asking for more information on the concert

Dear Colin
Thank you for this message. I am sorry to disappoint you but Elton John will not
be performing in Tenerife this year.
Best wishes,
Editor,
eltonjohn.com

Ok, it is possible that internal communication isnt that hot in Elton’s massive organisation or they may be upset if Santa Cruz council made the announcements before all the finer points were agreed. It had never been confirmed on any website and was given as November 15 and 17, depending on which Canarian daily paper you read.

This sudden let down might sound alarm bells for future concerts by Dire Straits and Sting, which have been promised by Santa Cruz council. Dire Straits are not performing as a group these days and Sting is on a massive World tour with The Police which runs until the end of November at least.

Does Mount Teide look a little smaller and less imposing to you? Maybe it’s because the Teide National Park is being sold off illegally, bit by bit on EBay.

There have been 2 instances in the last few days of sales on EBay, in the first sand from Los Azulejos was being sold in small bags for 1.1 euros by a German seller, and now another site selling small rocks for 2.74 euros has been spotted.

Denuncias have been made against the sellers and if they are caught they can be fined between 600 and 6,000 euros. This is not the first time these sort of scams have been tried. Four years ago a German site was selling rocks from the iconic mountain and another site was selling skiing holidays on Mount Teide complete with a mock up of a ski chalet among the snow on the peak.

Some people must actually buy off these sites to make the scam worthwhile so check your neighbours garden and see if they are building a small replica of Tenerife in the garden pond.

A four hour flight to or from Tenerife can really drag, but it could be worse, you could be surrounded by mobile phone users talking rubbish in loud voices. Sadly that could come true soon as new technology has been tested to allow mobiles to be used on flights, without endangering the planes electronics.

Thankfully there is already a groundswell of opposition to allowing mobiles in flight, led by The Daily Telegraph, who have started a petition. Personally, I don’t mind people using them up in the sky – as long as they step outside first.

Snakes on a Plane, I can live with but spare us from these Jerks on a Jumbo, otherwise we might all have to buy the in flight headphones and tune out.

Fiestas are always good here in Tenerife and offer a mix of quiet contemplative prayer and a good selection of late loud music, but here’s a bit of a cracker. How about an Iron Maiden tribute act in an old convent!

Thats the unusual attraction at the Fiesta del Cristo in La Laguna at the end of September. Most of the events take place out in the local plaza but on Thursday 20 September, the convent of Santa Domingo stages a concert by Esclavitud (Bondage) at 9.30pm.

Go on Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter or if it’s not your cup of tea , you better Run To The Hills.

Do you get nervous at job interviews? Fancy going for a post as a whale trainer? That’s what 21 year old Lia Abrantes of Los Realejos did and she beat off 20 other finalists to become the new addition to the training team at Orca World in Loro Parque, Tenerife.

This very specialised job was advertised in the local papers and attracted 200 applicants but Lia had the perfect qualifications, being a former Spanish synchronised swimming champion.

To mark the arrival of the new trainer, Loro Parque put on a special show featuring their 4 performing whales and Stig Avall Severinsen, the World Champion for holding breath underwater. Stig swam around in one of the parks pools, submerged for 6 minutes and 5 seconds. I’m just waiting until they want a volunteer to perform a similar feat in a vat of Dorada.

Nice to see Tenerife thinking big with the news that pop legend, Sir Elton John is to play a November concert in the capital Santa Cruz.

The Santa Cruz mayor had promised some big name acts to push the city and the island on the international music circuit, and they certainly don’t come any bigger than the Rocket Man himself. Santa Cruz council say they have cut a deal with Elton’s production company and ticket details will be released next week.

The 30,000 capacity concert will take place on Thursday November 15 at 9pm on the harbour at Santa Cruz. Several big concerts have already been staged there, and it can be sealed off and controlled fairly easily.

The mayor also said previously that negotiations were underway with Dire Straits and Sting for further concerts. Bring them on, lets see this rock roll.Â

It’s a dream come true, your very own paradise island, and in the wonderful climate of the Canary Islands. There are only 7 main Canary Islands but quite a few small islets just off their coasts. So welcome to your new home, Montaña Clara, just off the north coast of Lanzarote, yours for just 9 million euros.

This island is actually a stratovolcano, the traditional sort, built up layer by layer and with a deep shaft in the centre, don’t worry it’s not likely to erupt anytime soon. As for size, it’s just 2.7 cubic kilometres and part of the Chiniji Nature Park. The neighbours can be a bit noisy and messy, it’s a marine bird reserve, but just wave a packet of Paxo at them and they will soon take the hint.

The island was bought 50 years ago by Lopez Socas, the then mayor of Haria in Lanzarote, but now the family wants to sell it, maybe they could try EBay? I have looked down the back of the settee, but i’m still a little shy of the asking price, but i’m sure my nice friendly Spanish bank will help me out. I can see it all now, once the work is done, with a brewery, a football pitch, speedway track and ice hockey rink, and if Sue Barker wants to pop over for a while – heaven.

Finally it’s official, any bar, restaurant or business owner could have told you that Tenerife tourism has been on the slide for the last few years, now official government figures confirm that.

The number of foreign (non Spanish) tourists for the first 6 months of this year was down by 4.3% for the whole of Tenerife. That’s a drop of 94,000 less visitors made up of 51,000 Brits, 23,000 Scandinavians and 19,000 Germans. Breaking that down in the main resorts of the south, that’s a loss of 3.8% in Adeje and 3.7% in Arona. Even now the Cabildo (Tenerife government) is complacent. The minister for Industry, Tourism and Commerce, Jose Manuel Bermudez, tried to put some spin on the figures by saying that they looked bad because there were record highs for the same 6 months last year.

The picture is the same across the 7 Canary Islands with a drop of 200,000 overall and only Fuerteventura bucking the trend with a rise of 32,000.