It was the battle of the beaches and Mallorca stamped all over CD Tenerife’s undefended sand castle for a 4-0 win. Luna and Bertrand got sent off , i’m all for a bit of reality, but this was just shocking.

The signs were there early in the away game. Mallorca carved their way down both flanks with ease and then tried the direct route and met little resistance. Former Liverpool player Josemi broke down the right after 6 minutes, and skipped past 2 defenders before firing wide. Then Mallorca attacked the left and Bertran left the ball, which thankfully cannoned off Sergio Aragoneses and across the goal. How about the middle? Aduriz had a free header but thankfully Aragoneses made a great finger tip save.

The goal soon followed after 17 minutes, Aragoneses rushed out but couldn’t hold the ball, leaving Suarez to make it 1-0 to Mallorca. It took 24 minutes for CDT to produce their first real chance, Richi’s shot from a corner bringing a good save out of Aouate. Tenerife had a decent spell for the remainder of the half, Nino (pic) found himself loose and flashed a shot wide of goal and Luna was squeezed wide by the keeper.

Martinez curled a shot wide just after the re-start, but that was where the encouragement ended. Mallorca’s Ayoze ran at the retreating Tenerife defence and chipped the ball between 2 defenders, Aduriz had plenty of time to stoop and glance his header into the net to make it 2-0. Alvarez squeezed between Bellvis and Aragonoses a few minutes later and made it 3-0, by now I was begging the barman to change channels and put Come Dancing on.

Could it get worse? yes it could. After 70 minutes Luna got a second yellow card for an arm in the face and was sent packing. After 86 minutes the torture was completed when Bertran was judged to have fouled in the box, and as he marched with his straight red, Webo slotted home the penalty.

Wednesday brings a home game with Atletico Bilbao, the defence need a good roasting before then. There will be some heavy defeats as we learn this season, but we can’t keep gifting goals.

Welcome to Wish You Were Here, this week we visit one of the hottest spots in Europe, the Heliodoro stadium in Santa Cruz, Tenerife. Well it felt like that, both teams had complained during the week, about the 4pm kick off time, and their worst fears were realised – it was scorching hot, the fans were sweating buckets (bet your glad this isn’t scratch and sniff) but the players set off at a cracking pace. A 2-1 win was just reward for the superior skill of Tenerife, even if Osasuna did end up with only 9 players.

Tenerife just edged the opening exchanges, Nino had the first real chance when Ricardo set him up after 10 minutes, but he failed to make it count. Alfaro and Luna both had clear chances to score, Alfaro put his shot over the bar and Luna put a free header wide. Osasuna had their moments, Camunas was through on goal but Sergio Aragonoses was quick to take the ball and snuff out the chance.

Into the second half, Osasuna soon found themselves a man down, Monreal picked up a second yellow card for hand ball and was on his way. Tenerife cashed in straight away, Ricardo lobbed a great ball through to Nino, and he slipped it under the keeper for a 1-0 lead. CDT were caught napping a few minutes later from a corner, the ball was floated in and Pandiani rose to head an equaliser.

Maybe it would take something special to seal this game, that’s certainly what we got. Kome popped the ball back to Ricardo and he unleashed a 25 metre rocket into the top corner of the net to restore the lead. It got worse for Osasuna, their Iranian mi¡dfielder Nekounam fouled Roman Martinez and got a straight red to reduce his team to 9 players. Tenerife could have added to the scoreline, Alfaro went close and Richi missed with his header. Maybe it was the heat or the lack of a full team, but Osasuna faded and Tenerife finished the stronger to claim that vital first La Liga win.

Saddles so sharp they could do you a mischief, and not a bell or saddlebag in sight. The 100 plus cyclists from 14 teams, came bombing down Funchal and into the heart of Los Cristianos this afternoon, to complete stage 3 of this years Vuelta Ciclista of Tenerife. Police had sealed off several roads but with little advance publicity, crowds were sparse, and drivers were irritated at having to move from their usual parking places.

I tried to guess the arrival time but made a schoolboy error, calculating how long it would take from the start point of Candelaria up on the east coast. A check of the 95.3 km route showed that they only hugged the coast until forsaking the TF 28 at San Isidro to make the uphill climb to San Miguel, and a downhill finish through Valle San Lorenzo and back on the TF 28 at the Guaza roundabout.

Los Cristianos centre was well snarled up by the time the peleton (pack) came in sight, there were no advance posters and the excellent free glossy colour guide book, only appeared at the Cultural Centre on the morning of the stage. The stage and podium were ready in the car park, converted for this weekends Virgen del Carmen fiesta but it seemed forever until the support vehicles arrived, screaming downhill with sirens blazing, followed by the lycra flash of the leaders, now I know why the pot holes have recently been filled in by the traffic lights.

Sweeping into the car park, sorry showground, the sweaty sportsmen got a good reception and grabbed cold drinks as the prize giving was prepared.In true Tour style, there were 7 different coloured jerseys to be awarded in various categories, bunches of flowers, and smiling sponsors, but no sign of champers, well there were still 2 more stages to go. The yellow jersey was retained from the previous day by Spains Jose Belda for the CCN Valencia team, something of a veteran at 34 but showing the others a clean pair of pedals.

Tomorrow (Saturday) the action switches to El Sauzal (noon) for the longest stage, 101 kms to Santiago del Teide on the west coast, and then the climax is on Sunday, split into 2 stages, from Santa Cruz (9am) to San Andres and back, followed by a 45 km round trip of La Laguna, leaving Camino de La Rua at 5pm and ending in Plaza del Cristo. Good luck to them all, and lets hope for no punctures.

You always want your team to win the opening game of the season, even more so when the opposition has Telefonica emblazoned on their shirts, but CD Tenerife and their fans learnt the first of many lessons this season, losing 1-0 at Real Zaragoza. Tenerife should have got at least a share of the points, but at La Liga level mistakes are going to be punished, and missed chances will prove costly.

Zaragoza spent heavily in the summer, but it was a free transfer that was most familiar to British fans, Jermaine Pennant, formerly of Liverpool took his place on the right wing and made some telling early crosses. Alfaro had the best chance after 7 minutes, flashing a shot wide of the home post before Zaragoza took control for a big part of the first half. Sergio Aragonoses was as always in great form in goal, making some strong goal line blocks when the home side broke through.

Tenerife grew in stature and pinned Zaragoza back, Richi saw his header go over the bar, and Nino (above)Â and Alfaro both had the goal at their mercy towards the end of the half. The second half was a tale of more mised chances for CDT, Omar made his senior debut and unleashed a fierce shot that wasn’t far wide of the goal, great to see him in action and what a boost to his confidence to see that the coach is confident to give him decent time on the pitch-

Sergio had to be at his best to deny Ponzo and at the other end Alfaro missed a gilt edged chance, the goal when it came was down to a defensive scramble by Tenerife. Sergio made a good save but the defence fasiled to clear the ball and Arizmendi pounced to give Zaragoza a lead they barely deserved. Coach Oltra stuck to his attacking instincts and brought on Angel and Saizar but there was to be no equaliser despite some late chances. Tenerife really should have got something out of this game but shouldn’t be downhearted, they will get sharper and wiser as the season goes on, an extra defender before the transfer window shuts on Monday night would be nice as well.

Taking to the water once a year can become a big challenge for some people, personally I always face my annual bath with great resolve, but Jose Brito and Miguel Cruz like to make sure that their Tenerife ripples benefit as many as possible. Just a year after a 10 day 250 km swim around the coast of Tenerife, the old sea horses are back with a new challenge, a 24 hour swim around the bay of Los Cristianos.

Â

Next Saturday, Septermber 5, at 5pm they will set off from the old harbour to swim across the bay to the Costamar Apartments, and will continue to zap back and forth before finishing on Sunday, again at 5pm. The 2 dedicated swimmers are taking on this challenge to raise awareness of the dangers facing the local coastlines, and they will find plenty to test them in this particular stretch of water. Playa de Los Cristianos is usually busy with sunbathers, the bathing area soon gives way to a selection of pleasure boats moored up, and in some cases abandoned, then it’s just a short splash to the entry and departure point of the Fred Olsen and Armas ferries.

Jose and Miguel are allowed just 90 minutes break from swimming during the 24 hours, taken in short snatches to eat and drink. It’s a good job they both have strong swimming pedigrees. Jose was busy in 2004, swimming from Lanzarote to Fuerteventura, and later from San Sebastian, La Gomera to Los Cristianos. Miguel is no slouch either, three times he won the 800 metres freestyle in the Spanish championships, and was in the World’s top ten for the 1,500 metres.

Good luck to the pair of them, the event is being heavily promoted by Arona council, so try to get down to the old beach to give them a rousing send off and a huge welcome back.

It seemed a long way from last seasons euphoric home games as a paltry 3,800 turned up for the only friendly in the Heliodoro , Santa Cruz, against Nijmegen of the Dutch Premier League. CD Tenerife did their best to raise some cheer with a 2-0 win that barely reflected their dominance, but the wide open spaces and chants against the club president told their own story – the fans are not happy.

The decision to charge 10 euros towards the La Palma fire appeal went against all tradition across Spain for the official presentation game, normally they are Free for season ticket holders. We took our places in the Grada Popular Baja, seats still in place, they should have been removed to allow standing by now, and the expanded press area up in the tribuna, a La Liga requirement, was just a bare concrete base, cleared in recent days, although the work should be completed by now. The team that took to the pitch included our 3 new signings but was still down on firepower compared to last season. Only a week to go to La Liga, and the club is ill prepared.

The game was much better fare, Nijmegen were very physical but skillful, CDT had to be at their best, and after 14 minutes Richi set up Nino who showed he is as sharp as ever, making it 1-0. The referee was pretty weak and missed some strong arm tactics from the Dutch, Nino got knocked to the ground and  no penalty was given, but Tenerife were good value for a half time lead. The new boys combined early in the second half with Bellvis putting the ball into the goal area, Roman Martinez had an easy tap in and that was game over for Nijmegen.

That’s 3 strong wins to close the pre season programme, lots of plus points from the players we have but against opponents below La liga strength. The new kits have been unveiled (above) and next Saturday the big test begins with an away trip to Real Zaragoza, kick off 9pm and live on La Sexta, hopefully we will have at least one more forward by then. It seems like the club directors will have us banging our heads against a brick wall all season – so we thought we would take some tips from some real headbangers. On the way back from Santa Cruz we stopped off at El Puertito, Guimar for the Goymar Fest, a rock and metal outdoor feast of bands like Zen, Hollow Core, Hybris and In Blood, good fun but black marks to the bar for running out of beer.

With La Liga fast approaching, CD Tenerife need as many positives as they can get from the pre season friendlies, this 5-0 win over UD Lanzarote, could easily have been a double figure win. Angel and Omar stole the show combining well up front and tearing the Lanzarote defence to shreds.

The most difficult thing about the whole evening was finding a bar, 2 cars of Armada Sur drove up and eventually found the ground at the remote edge of La Laguna, then thanks to missleading directions from locals, we did a wide circular sweep of some dead end roads before ending back where we started. Striking out in another direction, we soon found some of our friends from the Frente Blanquiazul and knew a bar must be nearby. The area we headed into was the Urbanization Espirides, a mix of large grand houses and and small rough roads, eventually we found Bar Goya and lubricated the voices. There were a few strange regulars at the bar, one who looked like Neptune after a very rough night, and another arrived in a ramshackle old car covered in dents and scratches, after parking up the driver nearly fell out and got through 3 large glasses of wine before falling back into the car and driving off – maybe he was the local mayor?

Anyway back to the ground, as the watery sun dissapeared behind large grey swathes of cloud sweeping in to make it distinctly chilly. A flat rate 5 euros entry was good value, the stadium looked well worn and had an athletics track and long jump pits at the side. We had hardly settled when Angel latched onto an Alonso cross and gave CDT a first minute lead, to set the tone for the game. Lanzarote had little to offer, having just scraped a sidse together after avoiding another financial meltdown.

Ayoze set up Angel for a second after 17 minutes, and the speedy firecracker Omar made it 3 on the half hour with a great finish. During the half time break, we met up with Ian Lane a Brit who does the merchandising for Lanzarote, I met him on a weeks trip over ther 18 months ago, when i took in a game. The Reds were staying in Puerto de la Cruz overnight, and exchanging views, just confirmed that both clubs directors are hard to deal with and very resistant to change from outsiders.

Back to the game, and it was all one way traffic by now, the Lanzarote goalie performed heroics to keep the score down but Angel was on lethal form an added 2 more goals to ensure a comfortable win. Tenerife fans were in a subdued mood, reality beckons and the club have not come through with the promised new signings, young guns like Angel and Omar may well find themselves on a very steep learning curve against hardened La Liga players. This Saturdays presentation game against Nijmegen , back in Santa Cruz has become another cause of friction, traditionally this last showpiece friendly is free to season ticket holders, but it has now become 10 euros for all, with the money going to help the fire victims of La Palma. A commendable cause but imposing the donation on all the fans has not gone down well, add a general feeling that the euphoria of promotion has been partially lost, and the scene is set for possible storm clouds over Santa Cruz.

Time to pick up the pace a little, CD Tenerife took on Real Sociedad last night for the Teide Trophy in La Orotava, there was to be no pre season silverware though, as their former Segunda division rivals snatched a 1-0 win. Leaving the scorching south, we found the chill and cloud of the La Orotava valley quite a contrast as we met up with our blue and white comrades in a pre arranged bar, just down the road from the ground.

There was a good sprinkling of island based Sociedad fans, and a good few hundred of the all singing, all dancing peñas of CDT in our far corner of the ground, our police guard had swung from last years in your face close scrutiny to a more laid back, hardly interested approach. Super Mario made an appearance but had a rival in the “what planet am I on ” department, with a drunk, wobbly local who looked like an extra from a scouse soap.

A mintes silence was held before kick off for the 26 year old Espanyol captain, Dani Jarque, who died of a heart attack the previous day, and players wore black armbands. It was a young inexperienced line up for Tenerife, Airam and Angel led the attack, and their youthful enthusiasm gave Real problems in the first 15 minutes, Airam had a good shot saved. Sociedad looked strong and came more into the game while Dani Kome prompted CDT attacks from midfield.

The first half ended 0-0 but Sociedad came out strong after the break, and within 7 minutes some sloppy defence by CDT left Estudo to beat Aragonoses for a 1-0 lead. That sparked mas substitutions as Tenerife brought on 7 of the more experienced players, including Nino. It certainly spiced up the Tenerife attack, Nino and Richi both went close, but too many shots were going high over the goal. Late in the game Tenerife had a fierce shout for a penalty, but it wasn’t to be and the trophy went to Real Sociedad.

A much sterner work out for CDT against a side that should be one of the front runners to join Tenerife in the Primera. Many of the 4,000 crowd swarmed onto the pitch as both sets of players posed for photos with fans. As we headed back to the car, there was time to weigh up lessons learnt and the need for at least a couple more new players, certainly up front. Not a good end to the night for the few people who had parked in the shopping centre car park, only to find it now all locked up, thankfully we didn’t fall for that schoolboy error. It will be just over a week until we can see CDT v Lanzarote in La Laguna, in the meantime, they are off for a few more friendlies on tne mainland, and we will plan and ponder as the days tick down to the start of La Liga.

Bring me a postage stamp and a pen, I will write all I know about surfing on the back of the Queens head, still leaving adequate room for a small novel. Even after hours stood on my ironing board on the balcony, I have to admit to not having any of the skill and co-ordination of the many surfers who cut through the Tenerife waves with such grace and flair.

Mind you, that doesn’t stop me from admiring the talent of those that are at home on the foam, that’s why I headed from Adeje (see post below) to La Caleta for the 4th annual Canaries bodyboard competition. The timing was good, with the Virgen del Carmen fiesta in full swing this weekend, the sun baking, and most of all, the Atlantic throwing in some towering waves. La Caleta often has lively surf, and I noticed on arrival that Playa de la Enramada was pleasing sun seekers and bathers with fair sized rollers, but between there and the old village of La Caleta, the best and biggest waves were right on schedule at one of the jagged rocky points.

The tight bunting adorned streets leading to the sea were packed with camper vans, and every homes terrace was the setting for a lively and colourful party to enjoy the twin pleasures of fiesta and sport. Fish restaurants cling to every rocky stack overlooking the sea, the surf judges had their own little canopy set up just in front of a fishy terrace, as competitors awaited their call to take to the water. A P.A system and fog horn blast kept each surfer informed of their time slot for each category.

Competitors each paid 20 euros to enter in the open, female, drop knee or local  category, with 2,000 euros of surf gear up for grabs as prizes. A 15 or 20 minute spell to impress sounds a fair bit of time but catching the right wave and then getting back into position for the next cuts that down considerably. The coast in this area is full of sharp outcrops of rock, next to the event zone, bathers relaxed in rock pools, but the surfers in just shorts and tshirts rose and fell, and cruised and crashed in the surf without troubling the Red Cross attendants with as much as a graze.

The finer points were lost on me , I’d be happy just to stand up, but for those who want to see the full results and look out for future events, try www.fcsurf.es It’s back to the ironing board for me.

Even after a few months break, football fever is still gripping Tenerife, last night 4,000 fans packed into the Las Americas stadium to see CD Tenerife beat CD Marino 5-1. It was like the first day of a new term, as the Armada Sur gathered at The Royal Oak 2, just along from the ground, all full of hope and beer. This was the first friendly on home soil, a 3-0 win over Tenisca in La Palma on Friday got the ball rolling, but the raging fires meant the Sunday friendly over there was cancelled.

Normally this pre season game with CD Marino attracts a few hundred, but it was clear from the queues, this was going to be a bumper pay night for the Tercera division club. Another tradition was broken, normally the club bar runs out of beer fairly early on, but this time they were well stocked up and even had another makeshift bar set up at the side of the stadium. We didn’t have long to wait for an opening goal, just 4 minutes in, Juanlu put a cross in from the right and Angel fired it into the net.

Everyone was keen to see the first 3 new signings, Aitor Nunez was in the starting line up but it was Roman Martinez, our Argentinian recruit from Espanyol who made the first impression, combining with Angel to set up Omar for CDT’s 2nd goal after just 9 minutes. Reserve player Omar was definately grabbing his chance and added a well taken individual 3rd goal before Paolo pulled one back from an incisive breakaway. Angel closed the first half with a crisp strike from outside the area for a comfortable 4-1 lead.

The full moon shone down for the second half, and the pace slackened as Tenerife made wholesale changes, giving the whole squad a look in. Strangely, free scoring goal god, Nino was missing, sparking some frantic questions and shrugs among the faithfull, let’s hope there is no sinister reason for his abscence. New boy Belvis made his debut, I think we have already exhausted all the possible jokes about his name. Ayoze centred for Dani Kome to make it 5-1 and several more shots flashed past the home post before the final whistle.

Sunday night in La Orotava will provide a tougher test, as CDT face Real Sociedad. More good news for the club as the CD Tenerife B team have been promoted, despite losing out in the promotion play off final. Fuerteventura have major money problems and have been forced to drop a division, leaving a spot open for CDT B, who will now play in Segunda B, the 3rd tier of Spanish football.