There are so many distractions here in Tenerife, sometimes it’s difficult to walk down to the beach without being sidetracked. Today was the opening of the Canarian Food Fair next to Casa del Mar on the old beach side of the tunnel that links the Los Cristianos beaches. I thought the weeks work putting up the huge marquee and fitting it out was an extravagant way for Arona council to spend money but it does look rather good and its key position meant that it was doing a brisk trade today, all good for local business’s.

As the title suggests, it brings together food and wine producers from all seven islands and lots of small bodegas, farms and independent producers. The high winds dropped a bit today and the sun shone allowing people to sit in the outside area to enjoy their purchases and to see live traditional music on a small stage. It’s all about the food though, cheeses, jams, honey, sweets, fruit and vegetables plus a wide selection of wines. There are some samples to try, you had to fight to get to them through a sea of eager arms, I pushed my luck as ever by holding out a pint glass at the wine tasting but it didn’t work.

Some of the more specialist items include Gofio, a popular basic cereal eaten by many families, very versatile as a meal base and today I saw it used for Gofio ice cream and turron, that gorgeous sweet caramel like treat usually dealt out at christmas. There was plenty of local veg and fruit, one stall holder was brandishing a pineapple and a young lady was showing off a delightful pear. Anyway it’s just a two day show so if you are around tomorrow (Sunday) pop down between 11am and 8pm and bag some tasty goodies. They got through a loy of musical entertainment and food today but the shows not over until the singing lady’s fat!

Back on the rock and back on the case, chasing around for stories and events. Tenerife welcomed me back with sunny arms and lots of catching up to do. As always a lot had been happening but it was good to get back to my daily routines of swimming and exploring the daily delights of Los Cristianos.

Arona council are rather strange, they mix some great ideas with wild mood swings. At the moment there is a book fair on the front by the old Los Cristianos beach, moved from its usual church plaza setting, it was laid out nicely in a blaze of orange and white tents and balloons. Mixed in with the book stalls there are a series of musical, theatrical and artistic shows. It started yesterday and finishes on Saturday with an early evening blitz of performances. I bought a rather nice book on the history of Los Cristianos from 1900 to 1970, this afternoon but they also have some great volumes on Canarian cooking and those spicy sauces mmmmm.

Anyway, a small area has a temporary display of three sculptures from local artist Fernando Mena, he already has a permanent display called Cetaceos that shows parts of whales and dolphins seemingly rising out of the ground. The new additions were worth a walk round, he’s a prolific worker, trained in Santa Cruz and La Laguna before moving to the mainland to study in Valencia.

A little further along, just before the tunnel to Las Vistas beach, preperations are underway for the next event, a Canarian Food Fair, on 17 and 18 April. This has also been held in past years but this time they are putting up a huge aircraft hanger like tent, it needed a crane to start it off yesterday and today they were putting electrics in and large steel supports. Full marks for big ideas, but it was only a few weeks ago that the council tried to cancel the sardine funeral on grounds of poverty. The fact they are building this a week in advance shows the scale of it, normally it’s just a few breeze blocks and some chewing gum. I will definately be paying a visit or two to the Food Fair, it’s on from 11am to 8pm both days, so plenty of chances to taste and buy local cheese, wine, biscuits, cakes, bread, sweets….think I better book a trolly.

Think of cricket and you think of the glitz and glamour of the Indian Premier League and Calypso Cricket in the Caribbean-you dont think of Oxford on a cold Easter Monday. But that was where I ended up this morning, at The Parks, the home of Oxford University cricket.

I had just read in the paper about the death of Sir Alec Bedser a great player from another era, so when I saw that Northants were playing in Oxford I had to have a quick wander down there. The University parks were given to the city years ago so they cant charge to watch games, all the counties visit during the season and every other year the touring side pop in for a 3 day game. It was always a case of booking 3 days off work and heading to The Parks with a coolbag stuffed with beer, I saw Australia and the West Indies strutting their stuff, always great fun. Today was very different, no big crowds and so cold you could grate cheese on my scrotum.

There was no beer tent today just a few hardy souls huddling together around the boundary. Oxford were batting and Northants played with 2 slips-a bra and a pair of panties – old cricket joke number 397 there. I just stayed long enough to take a few snaps, then I retired to the pavillion, or pub as i prefer to call it.

The ground is in the post part of North Oxford, where they have fruit on the sideboard even if nobody is ill. On my way out of town I spotted 2 magpies (2 for joy) on a wall, I tried to get a better vantage point as they moved and I went in through an open gate. It was only at this point that I realised I was in a posh school for elegant young ladies – and that is the case for the defence your honour.

Nearly time to return to Tenerife, cant wait to get some warm sun and taste the Dorada again.

Now where were we, oh yes I had a trip out to Pangbourne, very nice place and great pubs. The rain kept off for most of the time so me and my friend Dawn were able to explore and take some olde english pics. One of the old pubs straddles the border of Oxfordshire and West Berkshire and apparently old regulars used to swap from one bar to the other to get the extended opening hours.

On to Saturday and a chance to see my beloved Oxford City at Marston. When I paid to go in they told me to hang on to my ticket as it might get rained off and I could get a refund – does that include my flights? Anyway it didn’t look that bad although the pitch had more sand than Los Cristianos beach. The first half was good, City soared into a 2-o lead but half time brought torrential rain and the Hoops didn’t fancy it. Halesowen pulled a goal back and it was inevitable that they would get at least a draw. The referee who looked about 12 years old, added on loads of extra time as I stood getting soaked and of course Halesowen levelled about 10 minutes into the added on time.

Home to my parents, a quick change, food and Doctor Who and I was back out to meet my mate Alan for a few cheeky beers on the Cowley Road. My earlier rekkie had worked out and I found a pub I had never been in before, The Black Horse Hotel,who very obliginly put on Sky Sports for the Tenerife away game at Sevilla. As others got excited about the Haye fight on the big screen I sunk into despair as CDT lost 3-o. Not a great day but with a belly full of ale I retired for the night with the snore factory well and truly open for business. And still it continues…….

Well here I am back home in Oxford – typical, as soon as i booked my flights there was a snow warning. Thankfully no snow but it is bitter cold, I believe crisp is the polite description. Yesterday was my first full day so I played Tommy the Tourist and took some photos around town, before the rains head in.

I was going to be a good boy but I bumped into a friend who was celebrating his birthday (on April 1st) so had to join in on the crawl. there are a couple of new pubs in town so had to explore them as well. it all ended up a bit hazy. Today I am off to Pangbourne, just down the rail line a stop before Reading, very nice and set by the Thames, shame its not sitting out weather.

Hopefully later I can find a hot cross bun or 2 to enjoy, maybe even a chocolate egg, tomorrow is football, Oxford City at home – what a glory hunter I am. i have looked to see if i can watch Clash Of The Titans (filmed in Tenerife) but not looking good, oh well have to go to the pub instead. More soon, cheers.

Like a broody hen I seem to find myself popping in to Playa San Juan on the west coast of Tenerife, to check on the welfare of the beach. Ever since new sand was imported a couple of years ago, each wave of storm damage sparks off a row between local politicians about how good, bad, or indifferent the repairs are. Well it looked mighty fine to me this morning.

As a former west coast dweller I am drawn back at regular intervals and boarding the 10 am 477 direct Titsa bus for Los Gigantes, I nipped out at Playa San Juan (1.90 euros on a bono ticket) and headed for the shore. Walking down through the gap where the barranco gushed rain water a few weeks ago, I was greeted by a gorgeous scene. The promenade has never looked so beautiful, a darker patch was the only evidence of where the sand had been replaced but the beach shimmered in the heat, the sea twinkled, the pergolas and flower beds overflowed with colour, and a sprinkling of people sipped cold drinks at the new kiosks.

Wandering out on the quayside that juts out between the two beaches, I had to do a double take to check the wooden chairs holding hands in an oh so polite and genteel way. Moving further round to the shady area, the old gents of the town were sat leaning over their walking sticks like old Canarians like to do. Stopping off for a coffee and cake I noticed the council workers tending to the grass verges as the sprinklers gently watered the plants. At ease with the world after seeing that all was well, I grabbed the next Titsa for the short jaunt to Alcala (just a euro this time) and a snack down in the plaza.

It’s all go, no sooner had my spicey papas bravas landed in that cavern known as my stomach, I was off into Los Gigantes to see what they were all up to. The main beach is still sealed off after the tragic rock slide, the word is that repair work will start this summer, the marina was drawing a few people in though to enjoy the scorcher of an afternoon. Overall it was pretty quiet in the village, the screaming headlines in the British press about a vomiting bug at two local hotels can’t be helping.

It wasn’t planned but I found myself in Tipsy Terrace by the tennis courts with my former Western Sun colleagues, editor Roger Diss and Richard Dobbins, President of Santiago del Teide Lions. All pretty relaxing, the sun beating down around our shade as we staggered down memory lane – I was in short trousers in those days – oh hang on, I still am. Even Cardiac Hill failed to phase me, well I did get a few breathers stopping to talk to more old friends. I’m a stickler for tradition so headed down into Puerto Santiago’s Bar Plaza for my usual tuna treat as the sun fell low bathing the statue of former mayor Pancracio Socas in a warm rosey glow. Suitably stuffed I took the roundabout route of the 473 Titsa (2.30 euros) back to Los Cristianos, spotting a few changes in Playa Paraiso and Adeje on the way. As lazy days go this was a pretty busy and satisfying one.

Some mornings, purely by accident, I get caught by those day time Do Up The House programmes, they usually involve some death trap of a place riddled with rot but always “in an up and coming area”. They would say it was an up and coming area even if it was in Baghdad. Well yesterday was my chance to do some house hunting in much better circumstances, it was the official inauguration of 25 bioclimatic houses at ITER, the renewable energy centre in Granadilla.

The calima was at full pelt and the sun magnified through the dusty haze as I arrived with John Beckley from Sorted Sites. The visitors centre was packed with architects, scientists and the media, as well as the usual suits giving speeches there was Princess Alexia of Greece, she lives in Lanzarote most of the time. Thankfully the speeches came to an end and I was let loose to explore the houses, built over 14 years as the result of a world wide competition. So what is bioclimatic? basically it means the houses are designed to make the most of the elements, solar panels, wind turbines, recylcled building materials and desalinated sea water. They are totally self sufficient and produce no CO2 emmisions.

It was a bit of a scramble with hundreds of people touring the houses, most of them battling for good photos, I just dived in and trod on lots of toes. The designs were very ingenious, many of them sunk partly into the ground to maximise insulation and heat. The interiors were pretty stylish with good use of space and natural lighting. The furniture ranged from basic as in the recycled cardboard tables and chairs in Noche Y Dia, to the more elegant and spacious like El Bernegal (both below).

The whole inauguration was handled like a well drilled military operation (but without guns) and the press packs and hand outs must have wiped out the odd forest or two. The houses are spread over a large site with a winding pathway linking them and the weather was scorching, I heeded the pre launch advice not to wear high heels but some of the ladies were struggling in tight designer dresses and crippling stilletos, sometimes I’m glad that I’m a fashion slob. Help was at hand though, golf buggies and electric scooters were freely available to whisk the hot and sweaty around the route as required. I battled it out on foot and later recycled my sweat by bottling it and sending it to the people that make Pot Noodle.

There was a whole flock of smartly suited and very helpful young ladies steering the lost and bewildered from house to house and people were heading back to the visitors centre at their own pace as many others continued to swarm over the dwelllings. I rushed back and did a quick interview with an American architect, Madelaine Fava, and realised I hadn’t seen or photgraphed her creation, El Alisio. thankfully the golf buggies enabled me to quickly put that right even though her building wasn’t open and furnished yet.

All this rushing around meant I didn’t have time to sample the posh nosh and wine being handed around, mind you I’m more of a chocolate doughnut and bottle of Dorada sort of chap. Loaded up with goodie packs we headed back to Los Cristianos leaving most of the others to enjoy an afternoon environmental film show. The bioclimatic village was very impressive and will now provide loads of data as scientists and enthusiasts live in them as they are monitored closely. If you want to read more detailed and technical accounts of the site, you can find more of my reports at www.tenerifemagazine.com or www.canarygreen.net and the official ITER site has all the background and specifications in several languages. Tours of the bioclimatic village run from Tuesday 23 March for a week, at other times you can go and see the rest of the fascinating ITER developments including those giant wind turbines at close quarters, all FREE. Call 922391000 and ask for Elsa.

I thought I was being stalked, I saw it the first time at the main junction in central Los Cristianos, then the next time, there it was on the corner of Avenida Sueccia near the port road. Could it be the new Dr Who, come to wind back time to the start of the football season to save CD Tenerife? Or maybe it was some sort of phallic symbol for the Carnaval season?

It seems there are many of them scattered around Arona, no one else seemed to be bothered by them, but I’m a right botherer. I tried to find a door or at least a slot to insert some money, just in case it was a Superloo, but no joy.

At last though things are becoming clearer, the heading “Columna de Libre Expresion” would seem to confirm my more mundane thoughts. The “Columns of Free Expression” are there for people to stick bits of paper on. All those tatty fly postings about apartment rentals, get rich quick schemes and lost dogs can now be posted on these official columns saving the lamp posts and bus shelters as they were meant to look. Mind you I could be wrong, if they start making a grating sound and start to vanish, get well out of the way.

They may be a little old but I love to admire their curves and sleek bodywork, but enough about the mature ladies on the beach, lets look at the Autoepoca Classic Car Show in Santa Cruz. I headed up from Los Cristianos on the early 110 Titsa with Ian from the Armada Sur and his good lady, Janette. Isn’t fate cruel, I ended up sat at the back of the bus next to a Scottish family with a ginger sprog wearing a Real Madrid Ronaldo shirt – what self control I have.

Arriving in under an hour at Santa Cruz, us chaps headed off to the Recinto Ferial, buying our 3 euro tickets we waited outside for the dignitaries to complete the opening presentations. Looking around the concourse it was clear that there wasn’t going to be a mass scrum to get in, most people would no doubt visit after work or over the weekend. I’m no car fanatic but I appreciate the design and beauty of these great machines, the 200 cars and 50 motorbikes looked fantastic as they spread across the hall. It would have been nice if some brief descriptions of the motors and their history was displayed with them, mind you I was also hoping for a few dolly birds draped over the bonnets of the cars, maybe that’s just me.

Great names like Porsche, Ford, Ducatti, Kawasaki and Rolls Royce rang out from the highly polished chrome of the bikes and cars. There were a few more unusual models, early kit cars, camper vans, U.S Army jeeps, and police motor bikes. I also expected a few more trade stands, there were a few specialist dealers selling model cars and some technical gadetry for cleaning and preserving collectors wares, maybe more will turn up for the weekend.

Those are just small criticisms, at 3 euros the fair is great value and will evoke many memories of first cars and back seat fumbles. There is a large cafe bar upstairs if you want to take a break, good views over the hall as well. Autoepoca closes on Sunday March 7 and opens daily from 11am to 9pm. Walking down into the main shopping area of Santa Cruz, I showed Ian the CD Tenerife shop, they still have a sale on and a few new items to go with the kits, scarves etc. After meeting Janette for a quick meal as we beat off the pigeons, we hopped on the tram from Guimera back to the bus station for our speedy 110 direct bus home.   For more details on the motors and more photos go to www.tenerifemagazine.com

…sang Marc Bolan. Little did I know, swinging my flares to T Rex in the 70’s, that one day I would be banging away, like J.Arthur Rank, inside a pitch black oil storage tank. The Espacio Cultural El Tanque was the venue, the converted tank is just up from the Auditorium, and just along from El Corte Ingles and the main bus depot.

Just in case the tank isn’t strange enough they have added an old American style coach as a walkway down from the street. Once past the reception, I took the dark path up and emerged in the barely lit interiorof the tank. As my eyes adjusted I could see the 18 gongs suspended in a circle around the tank, each was picked out in a spotlight and had a drum stick complete with fluffy cod ball head, just crying out to be swung at the gong. In the centre of the circle sat a white figure covered in letters that spelt out the names of seas, the huge steel girders still thrust up towards the top of the dome, where small lights twinkled like stars.

The work is called Jerusalem by Catalan artist Jaume Plensa, I was the only person inside the tank (apart from my non living statue friend) and the whole atmosphere was eerie. I sneezed and it echoed mockingly around the metal cage, good job I hadn’t been on the curry the night before, I just had to try a gong. The drumstick was suitably sturdy and the resonant crash as it hit the metal was wonderful, I savoured the shimmering sound and waited for a rush of action but it just settled back into that dark silence. Each gong has a verse written on it from Cantar de Cantares by King Soloman, they all refer to love in various forms such as “Love Is As Strong As Death, Jealousy Is Cruel As The Grave”. You have until 21 February to experience Jerusalem, from Noon to 8pm Monday to Saturday and 11am to 2pm on Sunday, and it’s FREE.

Outside, the real world had its own bizarre offerings, it’s Carnaval time, and the previous night was the biggest celebration to date, the Cabalgata (launch procession) followed by lots of drinking and dancing. It was a subdued and quiet Santa Cruz that greeted my early arrival, but within minutes of the TITSA bus entering the city, I noticed a few hairy men in dresses lurching along on their high heels. Plaza de España was being hosed down and the lake was securely sealed off to deter anyone thinking that they had become amphibious. I headed to Parque Garcia Sanabria for my first art assignment, the Cielo/Sky Part Two exhibition.

Parents were strolling with fancy dressed children in hand, as tired clowns crashed out on the grass looking less than jolly as the hangovers kicked in. I grabbed a coffee at the park cafe and found the organiser of the exhibition that features 12 Californian artists, part of a twinning link. Shelby Graham curator of the Mary Porter Sesnon Art Gallery in Santa Cruz, California was joined by Miriam Durango, curator of the Circulo Belles Artes a short stroll away in Calle Castillo. There’s a full article on the California connection on www.tenerifemagazine.com

After whizzing off to El Tanque I crammed in some more art at TEA – Tenerife Espacio de las Artes in Avenida de San Sebastian, a real favourite of mine. The building is as much a work of art as the exhibitions, always a joy to visit, especially as the three main halls all have new displays, but more of that at a later date. Heading back into the centre of Santa Cruz, bodies were stirring and the hair of the dog was merging into the late afternoon preperations for some rousing street concerts. Some costumes were starting to look well lived in, but the Chicharreros can always dig deep to find more Carnaval energy. I already have a return visit booked for Monday nights CD Tenerife game v Mallorca, and will be diving into next Saturdays big party day and night, there’s never a dull moment in Tenerife.