In the great scheme of things I have never been a prolific sportsman, despite my love of all sport, but i did enjoy one peculiar local sport in Oxford, and yesterday I took a stagger down memory lane to re-ignite my love of Aunt Sally. Every wednesday night in Oxfordshire, people gather at local pubs to play this strange game that involves 6 sticks being thrown at a small wooden doll perched on a swivel.

When I played there were 21 sections in Oxford but sadly there are now just 12, I never played at a very high level but always enjoyed the fun and beer of a good night out. My beery travels yesterday took me to The Folly Bridge Inn, next door to the former White House ground of Oxford City. Luckily the kind landlord and a few good friends helped me to have a quick chuck. I got 3 dolls with my first throw, blimey i wasn’t that good when I played on a regular basis.

The local paper The Oxford Mail does a round up every wednesday of the previous weeks action and prints a list of Sixers (anyone who hits all 6 dolls in one leg) and blobbers those who miss everything all night over the 3 legs, and yes I have been named and shamed in the blobbers section. It felt so good to throw those sticks again, it all came flooding back, when I started I was a danger to low flying aircraft but aspired to a half decent level. Ooh memories, maybe I can export Aunt Sally to Tenerife – well it’s just a thought.

….is what I was thinking as the bearded acordian player burst into the Lamb and Flag pub in downtown Oxford. He was closely followed by 5 young ladies who started dancing, well more like pumelling the bare floor boards as their leader pulled and teased his organ. The bible is wrong, there are 8 deadly sins, the 8th being Morris Dancing, and this display was dangerously close.

I just wanted a quiet pint or 10 around Oxford, after taking my parents to sunday lunch at The Mitre, I was sat at the bar in a melancoly moment, enjoying my beer and reflecting on CD Tenerife’s shock 3-1 defeat at Hercules, I didn’t want entertaining. As the music finished the players waited for applause, but the silence was deafening, not that it put them off, they moved into the other bar and started annoying a few people in there.

Apart from that, it was a pleasant welcome back to Oxford, even the pounding rain and dodgy Oxon (above) at the station, failed to dampen my enthusiasm. Many pubs have changed here lately so I set out with a zeal to revisit many of my old haunts. The Head of the River (pic below) was always a busy and popular pub but the whole upstairs is now a hotel, never mind, at least the eastern european bar maids were very pleasing on the eye.

There were a few other minor highlights on my crawl, but it all got a bit hazy towards the end of the evening, and tonight I’m meeting some old drinking mates – it’s a living hell, but i will do my best to look like i’m enjoying myself.

On my first day back in England, the sun had got his hat on, but since then it has added a duffle coat, balaclava, scarf and brolly-typical spring weather for blighty. Time to get down with nature, and a trip out to Formby Point to the National Trust reserve near the beach, famous for its hoards of red squirrels, sadly a notice advised that there was little chance of seeing any as they have been decimated by squirrel pox – so that’s what happened to Tufty. On to the beach and a few brave souls were flying kites in the face of a freezing wind off the sea, time for a strategic retreat.

Onward to Southport, here after known as the last resort, we resisited the lure of the lawnmower museum, I kid you not, and strolled through town in the rain, trying to find something of interest. The information centre made much of them having the longest iron pier in the UK, I should imagine that suicide is the most popular past time in Southport.

Thursday was a leisurely day in Manchester, trying to keep warm. Last time I was over the vote on a congestion charge for the city centre was due, the council argued that a NO vote would mean no money to improve the local transport system. NO was the loud and resounding response, and yesterday, despite the threats, a quarter billion pound government investment for the Metro and Park and Ride was announced. The Metro is a great system, we travelled in to Manchester centre from Bolton, they even have upright cycle lockers at the car park so cyclists can link easily to the centre.

It was good to catch up on Manchester’s Peregrine Falcons, last year we saw a pair on the high ledge of a nearby hotel, through a telescope viewing point provided by the RSPB in Exchange Square. The birds are back again this year and have hatched another 4 chicks, thanks to the RSPB it is possible to see pics of them on the nest and also hunting for food. The falcons eat local pigeons, and the male can be seen on its favourite resting place, on top of the letter E in the name of the Arndale Centre.

So much for our trek to Formby, might as well let the wild life come to us. Talking of treks, me and Pam are off to see the new Star Trek film tonight, years since I have been to a cinema, hope they still do Kio Ora and Poppets, if not I’m sure a decent real ale afterwards at the local pub will be suitable compensation.

The good people of Tenerife had a whip round and sent me back to England for a 10 day break to give them some respite, so here I am in Bolton with the lovely Pam, for a whirlwind tour of England.

Where to start, well Chester sounded as good as anywhere, and just an hours drive away. My knowledge only runs to vague ideas about a racecourse and Chester City, recently relegated back to the Conference, and managed by Mark Wright, former Liverpool and England defender and ex Oxford United manager.The boy from Berinsfield, just outside Oxford, also scored the winning goal at the England v Egypt World Cup finals game I attended in Sardinia in 1990.

First impresion weaving through the tight cobbled streets, was the staggering amount of pubs, I notice the important things, The remains of the city walls from the Romans visit 2,000 year ago led past the cathedral (see pic below) and surrounding gardens where people were sprawled out on the lawns in the sunshine, personally I felt the keen wind chilling me and was glad of my jumper and coat. In the centre of town, the Eastgate clock, built 1897, Â sits atop an arch over the main shopping street, a photo opportunity to good to miss. There was an interesting antigue shop on the arch, among the more traditional paintings of local scenes, there were some with Daleks and Cybermen added in, and there was me thinking that Dr Who was fiction.

If we were going to be tourists, we thought we might as well go the whole way, so we signed upfor a 90 minute walking tour (a fiver each) from the information centre. There were just 5 of us and our guide, Gerry, sounded just like Ken and Kenneth, the gentlemans tailors from The Fast Show. As for the tour, ooh suits us, it took us out to the edge of the city centre, past the oldest racecourse in the UK, the only one where they race anti clockwise. Apparently the footie ground is nearby and the dividing line between England and Wales cuts through it. Down to the River Dee and the area known as The Groves, ducks and herons perched on the weir and pleasure boats mingled with swans as we trudged by. History oozes out of every brick and we visited the old castle and Agricola Tower, before ending at the impressive St Johns Church, built in 689.

One day down, and I didn’t need the thermals, the forecast is not encouraging but bring it on, I feel some more wanderings coming on, hmmm wonder if Pam would fancy a trip to the National Football Museum in Preston?

The big top may have just set up on the Santa Cruz sea front, but the roar of the crowd has never been louder than at CD Tenerife. This noon kick off saw the blanquiazul tame the visitors from Murcia 3-1 with Alfaro the ringmaster.

The previous days results did Tenerife no favours, so it was vital to keep up the pressure to preserve second place. Juanlu was first to excite the home crowd, as his speculative cross hit the woodwork. Murcia looked a decent side but prone to going down too easily, De Lucas was writhing around in the box looking for a penalty as CDT broke and Bertran crossed to Alfaro, who supplied a perfect header to make it 1-0 after 24 minutes.

The second half had barely started when Bertran provided another good run from full back, to supply Juanlu, and he dropped a perfect cross for Alfaro to head the second goal, his 17th of the season. Murcia were reeling and Tenerife followed up with Nino turning provider for Juanlu to make it 3-0 to send the crowd delirious.

A little sloppyness set in and Aquino took advantage to pull a quick goal back, but Tenerife were cruising and in no mood to let the game slip away. Nino had a couple of decent chances, for once his touch deserted him and he had to play understudy to Alfaro.

That cuts the remaining fixtures down to 6, with CDT still comfortable in the 2nd of the 3 promotion slots. The Canal Plus live coverage and noon kick off played a part in keeping the crowd down (put at 18,300 on several news sites after the game but on Monday given as 16,747) those vital missing few thousand (capacity 23,000) would come in very handy to boost the bank account for next season in the Primera, fingers crossed.

Drink, drugs, groupies and old age, rock and roll has survived it all but the credit crunch is proving a tougher opponent, especially here in Tenerife. There will be music this summer, there is always music here, but you might have to dig a bit deeper to find something to please you.

Next Saturday,May 16, Old Uncle Rod Stewart kicks things off at Golf Costa Adeje, you can still get tickets from the usual outlets, and many shops around the island. Then on Thursday May 28, a new rock supergroup pitches up in Tenerife.

Big Noize have recently formed, fronted by singer Joe Lynn Turner, formerly of Deep Purple and Rainbow. Joe is joined by Phil Soussan on bass (ex Ozzy Osbourne) Carlos Cavazo on guitar (Quiet Riot) Simon Wright on drums (Dio and AC/DC), and another drummer (you can never have too many) Vinny Apice. They are starting out covering songs that they all know so well, like Shot In The Dark and Smoke On The Water. They have a single out called Battlefields, which you can hear on www.myspace.com/abignoize . The concert is taking place at the Pabellon Municipal Deportes in Santa Cruz (turn left just before CD Tenerife’s ground) at 9pm. Tickets can be bought from www.generaltickets.com for 15 euros.

Also on that website you can buy tickets for The Pretenders at the Santa Cruz Auditorium on Thursday 6 July (scroll down a few posts on here) for 30 and 35 euros. Bad news though on the 2 big summer music events, Eolica, at the Granadilla wind farm, and Aguaviva, in Los Cristianos and Las Americas. There has been no news at all of either large and well established event, both due within the next 6 weeks. A few days ago El Dia newspaper ran a big story saying that both were struggling to find the finance needed to run this year. Seems far too late now to rescue either.

There is also a deadly hush over the usual big hispanic or latino concert for the Heliodoro Stadium, home of CD Tenerife. In past years Shakira and Mana have packed them in just after the end of the football season, prior to the pitch being relaid. Best you make the most of what music is around, and in the meantime, I will keep my ears open.

Ok, I can here you whispering, he’s finally lost it, send for the men with the white coats. Just hold on, I’m actually talking about cutting edge art, I finally got round to seeing the Jed Berk art exhibition at the Circulo de Bellas Artes in Santa Cruz. The Blubber Bots are 22 interactive helium filled balloons fitted with sensors that make them react to light and sound.

 Finding the arts centre is an achievement, it’s half way along Calle Castillo, the main shopping drag, that connects Plaza de España to Plaza Weyler and above a shop. At the top of the stairs I found a black curtain blocking my way and poked it nervously, a young lady appeared and led me through to a small theatre type hall, fairly dark and with white blobs lurking in corners. She explained that they were resting, pulling her mobile out, she hit the music tone and they began to stir moving towards the sound, she then adjusted the lights and they became quite agitated, a few took an interest in me and ganged up. I kept thinking of Rover, the big white ball in The Prisoner, and was waiting to be enveloped and captured. Luckily they were fairly friendly and just bounced near me, moving when I did.

American artist Jed Berk created these Bots after graduating from the Rhode Island school of design, I’m not sure what he had been drinking, but I’d like a pint of it please. Sadly the Bots will bounce off elsewhere after this Saturday, but I will pop back to see what new wonders replace them.

I spent the rest of the day touring Santa Cruz, convinced I could see the Bots following at a discreet distance, peering out from shop doorways. A trip along Las Ramblas seemed a good idea, and isn’t it typical, I soon found a Brit laid out stone cold under a tree. Don’t worry, it was an old friend, the sculpture El Guerrero de Goslar (above) by British artist Henry Moore. It was replaced yesterday on its plinth, where it has resided since the 1973 Art in the Streets exhibition. We all need a holiday, and the famous work has been on display at TEA (Tenerife Esapacio de las Artes) since it opened in November last year, sadly in one day, it had already gained some unwanted graffiti.

Moving on I found an even stranger site (above) hanging from the trees and balancing on some metal stands. Having overcome a strange compulsion to clutch and cough, I looked over the exhibit. It’s been a while since I walked right around Las Ramblas, but I can’t recall seeing these “items” before. The sign on the stand said Xavier Corero 1973, but they look clean and free of bird pooh, so I assume they too have been recently returned to the wild.

From the banks of the Ganges in India to the banks of the Atlantic here in Tenerife, the Hindu ceremony of peace and illumination brought together several cultures as lanterns and candles heralded sunset.

For Hindus the Ganga (Ganges as we know it) was brought to earth from heaven to make the land fertile and to wash away our sins. It is also known as the divine mother, which is why the Tenerife Hindu Association chose Spanish mothers day to hold their ceremony on Playa La Enramada in La Caleta.

I was very impressed at the efforts they had made to reach out to all communities in Tenerife, with open invites via newspapers and posters, and the whole event was conducted in Spanish and English. Mayor Fraga of Arona was an honoured guest but the main man was H.H Pujya Swami Chidanand Saraswatsi, one of the most revered religious leaders from India.

Maybe that all sounds a bit formal, but it was very much a celebration, with music and dance telling the story of the Ganga, and children chatting and playing in the sand. Speakers kept their contribution light and humourous as those seated in front of the stage were joined by hundreds more milling around the edges and skirting the shore as the sun sunk lower.

The candles were actually wicks in ghee, a form of purified butter,and as well as being held, some were placed in small hollows in the sand just beyond the reach of the tide. For the climax, the aarti, the Swami led the dignitaries from the stage down to the waters edge and he held aloft his burning lantern from a smaller stage looking out to sea. This was the signal for a forest of flames to flicker brightly as prayers were said for future peace and healing.

It was great to see such a diverse range of cultures and ages all come together, Tenerife is quite a melting pot of nationalities and beliefs, and these open events will certainly bring us just that bit closer.

They are all big games now but this 1-1 draw at Real Zaragoza could be one of the biggest as it preserves the 4 point gap between CDT and their hosts in the 3rd promotion slot.

It was the worst possible start as Real attacked and Louis Gracia could only parry a shot instead of saving it, leaving Ander to crash the ball into the net after just 2 minutes. No time for recriminations, much better to attack the game, and CDT grew stronger as it went on. Garcia made a great stand up save after 10 minutes and Zaragoza were on the back foot. Alfaro and Kome (below) had Real running scared, every time either of them went down the flanks the home defence looked like they were facing a Mexican with a pig under each arm.

Nino headed wide and Garcia did well to tip over a rare effort from Arizmenda before the equaliser came. It was another piece of Nino brilliance in the box, as he turned and fired in one smooth movement, just before half time.

Into the second half and Zaragoza brought on their Brazilian top scorer, Ewerthon, back from injury, and he looked a handful. On 66 minutes the big forward had the ball in the Tenerife net only to see it ruled out for offside – a very close call. This was Real’s best spell and Cafa curled a shot over after Garcia flapped from a corner.

Tenerife brought on Angel and he also had a goal ruled out, but his looked a pretty clear offside. The home team were desperate for the points and launched a late assault, both Bertran and Luna made superb clearing tackles in the dying minutes to protect a vital draw.

Next weekend Murcia are the visitors to Santa Cruz, and once again Canal Plus have picked the match for live showing at Noon on Sunday. The Armada Sur will be there as always, even if it means an early start – I must remember to change out of my Thomas the Tank Engine PJ’s.

Las Palmas only drew, 1-1, at home to Huesca and remain in danger.Well done to CDT’s B team for winning the Copa Heliodoro on Thurday on penalties after a 0-0 draw with Las Zocas. They are also clear top in the Tercera division so may end up playing a relegated Las Palmas next season in Segunda B – my how we will laugh at that one.

Leather trousers, that’s the first thing that springs to my mind when thinking of The Pretenders. It’s great to see they are coming to the Santa Cruz Auditorium in Tenerife in Monday 6 July, one of many highlights of the Auditoriums programme for the rest of 2009.

What a fantastic rock band The Pretenders are, and as for lead singer Chrissie Hynde, what can I say except mmmmmmmmmmm. It didn’t help when I read that she never used to wear anything under those famous trousers - but maybe she had Bras In Pocket. Anyway back to the plot, I still think of them as being around only a few years ago, but I was shocked to find that their last big hit “I’ll Stand By You” was in 1994. I also noticed that they were formed in Hereford, they probably don’t shout about that, not very rock n roll is it.

Also on the Auditorium line up are Russian ballet legend Mikhail Baryshnikov on June 29 and ABBA stage musical Mama Mia will be in town from December 28 to January 4. I’m going for a cold shower and trying not to think about those animal skin lower garments.