With nothing to play for the pressure was off for CD Tenerife, time to emerge from the shadow of six straight 1-0 defeats. Time to repay the fans for their unstinting loyalty while the club became a laughing stock following a mid season of quality and promise. What did we get though, a half hearted 0-3 surrender at Sporting Gijon, the players looked like they had just emerged from Tuesdays Mahou brewery visit. Key players like Edgar and Ricardo were suspended and Ayoze didn’t even bother to travel this week as his move to Newcastle has been rubber stamped.

The fringe players should have grabbed their chance to impress but in the first minute goalie Diego Divas dropped a high ball under pressure and was lucky to get a second chance. Then the normally reliable Carlos Ruiz was slow and timid to let Lekic waltz round him and fire a second minute touch in to make it 1-0. When the second goal went in after 15 minutes, this time from Carmona, I suppose it was a change from single goal deficits but it still depressed me.
Tenerife managed a mini revival, a Loro free kick just cleared the bar, and Aridane spurned the best chance when he headed the ball down and wide in front of goal. Just after the half hour Ruiz confirmed his worst display for the team as he gave up the ball to Carmona who set up Scepovic to make it 3-0. We were watching amid several TVs in The Phoenix in Los Abrigos and by this point Britain’s Got Talent was actually starting to look appealing.

Half time swaps of Alberto for Ruiz, and Ayoze Diaz for Camara made little difference, Sporting were toying with us, a cheeky long shot went oh so close and if Sporting hadn’t relaxed the total would have risen. Borja came on for Cristo after 63 minutes, surely his farewell run, Aridane proved too slow to convert a good pass into a shot, and the juggling dog on the other TV was showing more control. The final whistle put us out of our misery, seven games without a win, and 641 minutes without a goal, whichever way you slice it, that is a dismal epitaph to the season.

It was like CSI Candelaria as we all donned our white paper suits for a tour of the Mahou brewery. Your average super star footballer would have been straight on the phone to his agent, all hurt and unloved at being forced to wear anything without a designer label. CD Tenerife players are a bit more down to earth and arrived from morning training in a mix of cut off shorts and laid back t-shirts, a few arrived in their sponsored cars but most were on a team bus.

The visit was a thank you acknowledgement to the brewery sponsors of the pre season Mahou Cup, usually played over two legs against the Pios from Las Palmas. It was a double mission for myself and The General as it seemed the perfect time and place to present Suso Santana with his Armada Sur player of the season award. Here’s a weather flash, summer is in full flow and it was damm hot as we drove around the industrial estate trying to find the brewery, I knew we were close when my tongue started salivating.

Once everyone was assembled at the visitors lounge we fanned out in the hall to hear a speech from the brewery officials as all us media folks snapped and filmed. The first call was the storage yard where mountains of bottles and barrels towered above us as a fork lift shifted further supplies around. Cue a big squad line up complete with Mahou officials before they were split into two groups for a pre tour introduction talk. At this point we seized the moment and posed Suso for a snap with The General handing him the trophy.

Then it was dressing up time in the oversize tissue suits and we were led through part of the factory. We had both done the Dorada tour but this was a smaller operation, although they produce Reina as well. None of the machinery was in action but it was stifling hot inside as we were up close and in amongst the machinery, they don’t do public tours, quite a few safety measures would be needed for regular visitors. By a stroke of luck I had researched my subject at the Gastro Canarias food fair a few weeks before when I had sampled all their bottled range and even rung out the barmaids apron for good measure.

The tour took about 30 minutes before we could dump our disposable Alec Guiness suits (ask your Gran) at the visitors centre. With Ayoze Perez due to make a 2 million euro move to Newcastle we did contemplate salvaging the suits to sell to Geordies on Ebay but thought better of it. Most of the club officials joined us in the tasting room, President Concepcion was a notable absentee on the day. We held back as of course CD Tenerife were the main focus of attention but once they were served, several had sin alcohol, we were invited to partake. The sweet irony of the visit amused me, at the weekend three pio players were fined 6,000 euros each for a curfew breaking drinking session after their defeat in Mallorca. Their guilt was proven on social media posts but here were CDT free to enjoy beer as they pleased, I hope they sent phone pics to those pesky pios to rub it in.

At first there were nuts and nibbles on the tables but then I noticed a magic window behind the bar, the waitress was pulling in trays of ever bigger offerings through small cakes, samosas, and then burgers. I’m sure after we left they would have got onto pheasants and swans. After a few final pics and thanks to our hosts, The General and myself made our exit and headed back south. Saturday is the final league game and the last chance to end the dismal losing streak, then the grim reality of new contracts or the dreaded release will focus minds before a busy summer of squad strengthening.

Hitting me with their rhythm sticks and their dainty red caps, the mass of harmonious voices stopped me in my tracks just outside Tenerife Sur at the bottom of Funchal. Fiestas are many and often in Tenerife but I was sure there were none today so I asked one of the grown ups in charge of the musical youngsters what was occurring.

A multi regional gathering was the answer with the party I had seen coming from Barcelona, a few yards further on I found another group with different but co-coordinated outfits in a flamenco style and complimented by little baskets of flowers. They were all heading for the Los Cristianos cultural centre, a bit of research told me it was an Encuentro featuring eight colleges and 300 pupils from across Spain, three from Barcelona, two from Leganes, Madrid, and others from Cadiz, Valladolid, and the hosts from Santa Cruz.

Later I found an even bigger gathering at the old beach with team games breaking out all over the sand under close supervision. One of the organizers told me it was called Jugar & Convivir (play and live) and set up by Ofra Bella Vista college in Santa Cruz with help and support from the culture and sports departments of Arona council. It looked brilliant, the sea was a little choppier then usual on the more sheltered beach but teams were venturing into the water to play between inflatable goals, over inflatable nets, and into inflatable basketball hoops. Others were indulging in tug of war with one side trying to pull the others into the sea.

The groups are here for five days and the purpose is to share culture, music, and sport, sounds like a very worthwhile aim to me. As I left the beach the speakers were being cranked up in Plaza del Pescadora with some reggae themed dance music. Let’s hope they enjoy all that the fine facilities of Arona have to offer and make lots of new friends along the way.

To cheer your team off the field after a sixth straight 1-0 defeat shows great loyalty and belief. To slink off the pitch after an awful display, with only three players acknowledging the fans shows contempt and ingratitude. That gulf in response was as wide as the gap in ability between a weakened CD Tenerife and the visitors Real Murcia who were hardly troubled after their first minute goal.
Hopes of making the play offs hung by a slender thread, especially with Camara and Suso suspended and Newcastle bound Ayoze Perez conveniently injured. The home defence were caught cold as Saul threaded in a pass to Kike Garcia after 30 seconds and he took full advantage to hit his 22nd goal of the season. Tenerife had nothing to lose after that and should have thrown everything at Murcia but they didn’t seem up for the fight, Edgar did quite well trying to imitate Suso down the right flank and after 14 minutes his cross landed perfectly for Nano but he popped his chance over the bar. Aridane managed a header that flashed by the post and Bruno saw his header clip the bar although he had already been whistled for offside.

Murcia have a strong claim to a play off place and showed plenty of hunger, the home defence tightened up with Bruno in awesome form to shackle Garcia. Roberto looked sound in goal when the visitors breached the defence but again the midfield couldn’t create enough openings to threaten their confident opponents. Tenerife faded even more in the second half, Aday came on for Nano and patrolled the left wing with limited success, it might have been wiser to switch Edgar to his preferred left side. It would have helped if the ref had awarded a penalty just after the break, Molino clearly handled the ball in the box but we have come to expect little joy with these calls.

There was a big feeling of anti climax, we didn’t expect much against such a good side but it would have been encouraging to equalise and set up a storming finish. Several Tenerife players will have put question marks over their usefulness to the squad for next season. Rivero replaced Ricardo and again looked very ordinary, Juanjo came on for Cristo and was another lightweight. Everything seemed half pace, even the scoreboard wasn’t bothering to show the time elapsed or the scores from other games. It’s a good job the 7,825 crowd kept up a good tempo, thanks were due for a better than expected season. Murcia’s celebrations at the final whistle showed how much they want promotion, Bruno hurdled the boards to swap his shirt for a fans scarf but there wasn’t even a hint of a team response and Ayoze couldn’t be bothered to say goodbye. Next Saturday it all wraps up at Sporting without the suspended Ricardo and Edgar.

Was the Fosberry Flop a jump in athletics, a punk band, or something I tried to cook once? I’m sure it was athletics and it flicked through my memory as I sat on the grass watching young ladies hurling themselves over an ever rising bar at the Arona Combined Events meeting in Playa de Las Americas. The Estadio Antonio Dominguez is where I normally watch CD Marino so it felt good to be there, especially after enjoying last years event so much.

This years appeal was stronger than ever with athletes drawn from as far away as Qatar, Australia, Estonia, and eight from Great Britain. I arrived on Saturday morning for the sprint races and the stadium was buzzing with activity as the volunteer marshals and stewards ensured the smooth running of the heats. It was nice to grab a quick chat with Grace Clements who I interviewed last year, she is on course to qualify for this years Commonwealth Games in Glasgow, an event that was on many minds over the two days of competition.

One of the late confirmations was Katarina Johnson Thompson  (above ) from Liverpool, she wasn’t a full competitor, just training, but she still scorched to the front in her heptathlon 100 metres with a personal best. That was another positive step towards Glasgow with a big meeting in Austria hot on its heels. The long jump was going on in between the sprints and Peter Glass and Martin Brockman came thundering down the run up before launching themselves into the sand pit.

Over at the Green Hospital end there was a tense contest between the women in the high jump, including Grace Clements (above red ) and  Jess Taylor (below yellow) .This fascinates me as they have very differing styles of run up, Australian Lauren Foote and Estonian Mari Klaup had a very short sharp run up but most were measuring out big strides before taking off.

At this stage I must give Mari Klaup a special mention in the fashion stakes, her skull and crossbones wrap made me giggle but it kept her warm on a weekend when the sun was playing hide and seek. Arona Athletics Club is the biggest in Tenerife and they were holding a junior open championship in between the main event, it was great for the youngsters to mix with top athletes in front of a very healthy crowd. As I left for the afternoon break I saw the medals and trophies being given out, quite a glittering array.

Back later for the evening session I got to see some shot putt action, lots of grunting and groaning as they threw, but once I stopped that it was nice and quiet for them. More sprints rounded off the day as the sun gave way to the floodlights. I took the chance to interrupt my walk home with a few beers but didn’t go mad and chase my personal best. Sunday morning I was back for CD Marino, the athletics was put back to fit it all in, I was very impressed how quickly after the match they dismantled one of the goals, laid all the cables for the commentary from the various competition points, and put out the banners, hurdles, and measurement marks for the discuss.

As all the activity was going on I grabbed a few words with Richard Reeks from Poole, a decathlete serving with the Royal Navy.
“This is an important time in my season, three decathletes will go to Glasgow and two are already through so I am battling it out with Martin Brockman. A few of the other GB athletes were here last year so I knew it would be a good tournament to push me on, they have been looking after us well and have made the smaller (Anexo) stadium available to us for extra training during the event. I hope to make Glasgow and then look onwards to the Olympics in Brazil, I’m lucky that the Navy let me pursue my sport as a full time athlete (he wore his Royal Navy sweatshirt with pride between events) and they have been very supportive.”

Thankfully I was able to see Richard (white vest), Martin (middle red), and Peter Glass (above red) of Northern Ireland attack the hurdles before I had to sneak off to see CD Tenerife’s away game on TV. The men’s decathlon was won by Florian Geffrouais of France with Martin Brockman second. The women’s heptathlon went to Marisa de Ancieto with Jess Taylor taking third spot. I will be carefully watching the Commonwealth Games this year and hoping that Arona played its part in helping many of the participants to reach the big stage.

Faint promotion play off hopes drifted away in a 1-0 defeat at Sabadell, the fifth on the trot but this was a better performance with Ayoze Perez putting in a all action gutsy display that will have had his new Geordie owners fretting as he was flattened twice by scary pio goalie Nauzet.

Now is the time to look to next season to see who should stay and who should be released, the out of contract players Bruno and Suso had storming games but bit part striker Juanjo was awful and goalie Roberto had a couple of big wobbles that wont help his chances of holding on to the first choice gloves. Alberto had a rare start in midfield, he nearly left in January but injuries got him a reprieve, this performance showed he hasn’t improved on his early promise. Raul Camara struggled in the left back slot and even Carlos Ruiz was below par.
Tenerife had to survive an early siege, Collantes was always a threat from his first chip over the bar, and former blanquiazul Hidalgo put a long range shot just wide. Sanz and Ricardo were comfortable in midfield and a pass to Ayoze put him through but his footwork let him down as Suso waited for the lay off. Juanjo looked weak, he clashed with Nauzet and cowered on the floor as the monster showered him with abuse, not a good sign. A defensive slip on the half hour let Ayoze in but Nauzet floored him on the edge of the box, the ref gave nothing.

At the other end Roberto rushed out to clear and missed thee ball completely, Bruno cleared that one up, but a few minutes later a Collantes corner was nudged on by Longas, another ex CDT man, and Roberto and Ruiz got in each others way as the ball went in off Ruiz for the ominous 1-0 scoreline. Just before the break Ayoze was bearing down on goal and Nauzet ran outside his area and pole axed him again, this time the ref saw it and gave a free kick but only booked the keeper. Ricardo could only put the kick over the bar.

Ayoze and Suso tried to demolish the home defence in the second half, Suso just rounded their defenders at will but too often there was not a pink shirt to convert the ball. Ayoze showed his skills when dragging the ball back in front of three defenders and passing to Suso but his shot missed the target. Tenerife started to fade, even a double sub with Rivero and Cristo coming on for Alberto and Ricardo didn’t holt the slide. Roberto made a couple of good stops and the arrival of Aridane for Juanjo gave brief hope, he powered through for a goal chance but Cristian cleared the danger. Ayoze managed a couple more half chances but Sabadell didn’t have any real worries, the final whistle made it 461 minutes without a Tenerife goal, that’s not promotion form.

Stop Press – I was just thinking at least we have got through the season without any internal bust ups. Just heard that Quique Medina the Director of Football is leaving the club with coach Alvaaro Cervera taking on his role, that is more of an over manager dealing with signings etc. Not sure how that leaves things for the last home game against Murcia.

Even without the 1-0 away promotion play off loss CD Marino were second best to San Sebastian de Los Reyes in a 0-2 home defeat. In the end a gap in experience and limited depth of quality told but there are so many pluses to be taken from a winning season with a totally rebuilt squad.

A band was playing in the stands, an arch of blue and white balloons greeted the teams, and a bumper crowd of 500 came to hope for a dream ending but reality was cruel. The visitors were strong and confident and to their credit came to attack rather than sit on their home leg lead. On the left side full back Lluch and forward Vicente interchanged to cause havoc. Aaron Darias was the key for Marino, he was getting around the visiting defence on the right flank and forced an early corner that the defence half cleared before Josito fired in a long range shot that the goalie gathered.

The break through came down Sanse’s favourite channel with a speedy break that caught out Pulido and Lluch was able to slip the ball past Alberto. Marino fought back, Murci did well to control a chest high ball and hook a shot in but the keeper was ready for it. Sanse picked their moments to break, Mendy came to the rescue with a sturdy blocking tackle and Alberto made an important save from Vicente. It was a big blow when Aaron had to go off injured after 30 minutes, Fran came on and has shown glimpses of class this season but he found it hard going with the pressure on. Balduino dropped a little deeper to help create a few openings but that left the attack a bit short.

Coach Sosa Espinel made a bold half time swap by adding Juanmi in place of Pulido and he put a shot just wide of the Reyes post. A long ball to Fran was too ambitious even for his young legs and the frustration began to tell. Murci thought he was in only to see the keeper claim the ball, the last throw of the dice was Sergio on for Josito. Reyes made sure of their next play off round, this time down the right leaving Carlos stranded and Vicente to make it 0-2. Murci and Balduino both saw their shots whiz past the post but when a glancing header from Murci flew by it was all but over. Marino were drained and couldn’t claw their way back but they can be proud of a campaign that has seen them camped in the top four right from the start.

Dorada, Mahou, ice cream and sausages, what a lucky stomach I have, my day out to La Laguna and Santa Cruz wasn’t meant to end in such a delightful mix of food and drink but I was overwhelmed with hospitality at the Salon Gastronomico in the Recinto Ferial in Santa Cruz. It was just as well I had already enjoyed a lovely meal at the Rakaposhi Himalayan tapas bar in La Laguna otherwise I would have been considerably more squiffy than I was.

Let’s rewind to an early sober start, thanks to the Titsa bus and the tram I was in La Laguna for mid day, my first target was the Mercado de San Pablo but it was still shut so I put my art head on and visited a couple of local exhibitions. The La Caixa hall had an interesting display of paintings by Horacio Vidaurre called Cuerpo de Papel – Espiritu de Tore. They had three rooms of works highlighting violence to women, powerful stuff in striking images. My next stop was the old Convento Santa Domingo where Oscar Oramas had an exhibition in two halls, this was more abstract takes on landscapes but I wasn’t too taken with his sketches of his own meat and two veg, keep it to yourself mate.

On my wanderings I had spotted the Rakaposhi tapas bar and headed back there for a smashing meal and a lengthy chat with the owner Ali who told me about his village in the Himalayas, look out for the review soon. Catching the tram back to Santa Cruz I visited my usual stop offs like the port and Parque Garcia Sanabria before heading to the Salon Gastronomico food fair. It was 5 euros to get in but as it was a new venture I wanted to have a good nose around, one of the first things I spotted was a stand giving our Dorada Especial, don’t mind if I do, the staff on the stand were very chatty and interested that I had done the Dorada brewery tour. The ladies on the Mahou stand tempted me away with their lovely smiles and large range of bottled beers, the 6.2 Selecta hit the spot. Beautiful women handing out beer – had I died and gone to heaven?

Before you think it was just beer, there were lots of other stands including a cake competition, pastries, ice cream – I tried about five of the flavours, and the Egatesa meat company (they advertise on the back of our CD Tenerife season tickets) were serving up sausages and burgers. La Gomera had a large selection of cheeses and there was even a stand doing coffees with cocktail flavours. But back to the beer, and believe me I went back to it often, I explained to one of the Mahou girls all about snake bites, she seemed impressed but didn’t have any cider to hand so I could make a practical demonstration. I tried a couple of mojitos at another stand but resisted the alcohol free beer at the Heineken stand. It’s a good job I don’t drink wine, there was plenty of that on offer and at the far end of the hall there were around 80 Tenerife wines for tasting but I couldn’t see any pint glasses.

I made an effort to get into the show cooking, a large stage and tiered seating was the place for the against the clock cook off. It was a bit like Ready Steady Cook or when I do it Ready Steady Incinerate. The eventual winner was Jorge Penate but can he make a decent crisp butty. The whole point of the exhibition was for business’s to sell to new clients, many of the visitors were in the food and drink trade, the chap on the cocktail teas stand gave me the full sales pitch but I was only hanging around to get a photo of his delicious lady helpers. I’m sure a few deals were struck and as it becomes an established event it will no doubt grow in importance, the Recinto Ferial has lots of good fairs on and is a nice versatile venue, I always enjoy my trips there.

It got to 8,30 pm and they started to wind down and clear things away, I think I was one of the things they probably were keen to clear away so I wobbled off to catch my bus back to the south. Of course a few more beers followed at the Los Cristianos end but I somehow managed to get myself and my pocket full of leaflets home without wobbling too far off course.

Being a tight so and so I always give the sauce bottle a good slapping to get all the sauce out but eventually I have to admit it’s drained. Unless CD Tenerife coach Alvaro Cervera can add some late season vinegar the promotion play off hopes are in the same situation after a fourth straight 0-1 defeat, this time at home to Cordoba.
The jolt of pain from the defeat at Las Palmas should have fired up the engines again but it was a poor performance, sloppy and slow to cover in defence, blunt up front, and a midfield engine room desperate for the return of Cristo Martin. Cordoba looked sharp, former Newcastle player Xisco put an early chance wide from a Davila pass and thought he might have another pop after beating Ruiz but was offside. Davila’s control let him down when another chance came calling but he pounced after 17 minutes when Silva had plenty of time to set him up for the goal.

Xisco was at it again just clearing the bar with his shot and although Suso was testing the visitors defence Aridane was grazing again and Ayoze looked off the pace. Davila was gifted another shot just before the break but did the decent thing and popped it wide. The signs were worrying despite Suso opening the second half with a typically determined raid down the line, he squeezed it across but the keeper just managed to scramble it away. Ayoze was getting heavy marking, Bernardo and Cruz pressed him in a sandwich and even when he made some room and bore down on the keeper his shot rebounded away off the post. Like all our recent opponents, Cordoba had done their homework and enforced their plan cynically, holding player Garai took over from forward Davila as they looked to keep their lead. Aridane finally got a sniff but fired into the side netting. Nano replaced Loro and again looked promising but was isolated out on the left.

Suso was still squeezing his bottle, he turned a defender but was thwarted by the goalie and then took out two defenders with a clever lob but there was no one waiting to finish it off. Juanjo couldn’t spark a late fight back when replacing full back Moyano and late efforts from Ayoze and Aridane came to nothing. The 13,702 crowd didn’t show dissent at the final whistle, their support had been intense all through the game but most of us felt resigned to reluctantly letting the dream go. There are three more games to end with a flourish but realistically we should be grateful for an uplifting season that should be a springboard for a more solid assault on promotion next season.

What a contrast, from the majestic pine trees, vibrant flowers, and bird song, to the cool, dark, silent world of Cueva del Viento below Icod in the north west of Tenerife. I had visited the volcanic lava tubes before but it was nice to share the experience with Andy and Jim from the Armada Sur as well as the others on the full mini bus from the visitors centre where the tour started.

The first hint of the contrast came when we peered through the metal grid of a 17 metre chasm. Surrounded by greenery and vegetation it has swallowed up a curious local lady many years ago, luckily she survived and it led to the full exploration of the 17 kilometers of tunnels on four levels. Our trip was in a 180 metre downward plunging section with a guide and plenty of informative information. We learnt at the visitors centre about the different types of lava, this Tenerife natural wonder is of the layered type where lava has cooled and solidified to sculpt bizarre shapes and textures. Cueva del Viento (cave of the wind) is the biggest set of volcanic tubes in Europe and the fifth longest in the world.

The day started at Playa de Las Americas bus station, originally there were to be 8 of us on the outing but only myself and Andy Van Man boarded the 460 bus for Icod. Jim phoned to say he was at the wrong bus station but a frantic car catch up saw him hop on at Tejina. As we drove up through Chio and Santiago del Teide the cloud was hovering low to mask the scorching sun. We arrived in Icod a couple of hours ahead of our booked tour time so after a stroll through the historic back streets we settled outside Bar Hesperides for a few Dorada’s as we watched the world go by. For our delight and entertainment we were treated to a Mrs Merton look alike, a female Jabba the Hut impersonator – who turned out to be English, and a scattering of pretty young ladies also caught our roaming eyes.

A taxi whizzed us up the steep winding roads to the tiny village of Cueva del Viento and the visitors centre. We paid our 10 euros and collected our helmets with mounted spot lights and listened to the introduction talk and video. Suitably clued up, we piled into the minibus for another steep climb to a clearing were we set off across natures garden. Several expanses of lava rock gave us a better understanding of how the lava had poured down from Pico Viejo, next to Mount Teide, and created a 300 metre wide lava field. Part of the ancient Camino Real track, that linked remote parts of Tenerife, became our path as we neared the entrance to the tubes. Before putting the helmets on we had to pull a cloth protector over our heads, some of us got yellow ones, not a good colour for CD Tenerife fans. With the helmets tightened and the lights turned on we descended one by one down the entrance stairs.

In the first large cave we perched on the ledges as our guide explained more about our surroundings, a mummified body of a Guanche king had been found on a high ledge, and a small metal door in the distant rocks was a crawl space into the main tunnels where most of the tiny species of creatures live. Our journey led the other way through a tight, twisting, plunging tunnel with an uneven rocky floor. Our lights cast flickering shadows on the walls and ceiling to show the many small offshoots and the tree and plant roots that poked through. The air was chilled and drops of moisture plopped now and then as we explored some of the collapsed rocks. At the end of our stretch of tunnel we were just under the grid covering the chasm the old lady dropped down, and just to the side was a tight lava pipe leading down to the lower level, there are plans to offer that as an extra option for braver explorers.

Retracing our steps we stopped to look at some spiders on the ceiling of the passage and also to have our brief exposure to total darkness. The warmth of the late emerging sun caressed us as we climbed back to ground level, on the walk back to the minibus we were able to check out some obsidian rock and learn how it was used by the Guanches to make rough tools. By the time we got back to the visitors centre the whole experience had taken two hours so feeling educated and thirsty we rewarded ourselves with Dorada’s at the nearby bar and ordered our taxi back to Icod. As luck would have it we had well over an hour until our bus back south so we put the time to good use with more beer outside a large bar near the bus station. There was still time to pack more into the day, breaking the journey in Tejina we were able to meet the General in Bar Achimaye and enjoy some food and drink while watching the first half of the Europa League final before the last leg into Playa de Las Americas.

I jumped out in Torviscas to meet a couple of friends over from Bournemouth at The Wigan Pier, the second half of the football, extra time, and penalties allowed me to force a few more beers down and we even won their quiz. That was it for me – oh apart from a few nightcaps at The Merry Monk in Los Cristianos. It was a great day in good company, our next lads trip out is shark wrestling or hang gliding – as long as it includes beer I’m up for it.