
Noddy moving his house around, that’s what we used to call thunder when I was a nipper, but the almighty claps along with lightning and torrential rain in the early hours of this morning were like a pile driver pounding Tenerife. A yellow alert had been declared but it still disturbed me from my slumber and I awoke to find a Cabildo (government) press release advising that access roads to Mount Teide were closed due to snow. It does happen from time to time but will pass in a few days leaving a beautiful snow capped peak on the volcano and hardly a trace of the rain once the sun puts its hat back on.

In the meantime I dodged the heavy showers to experience some of the strange sights the weather produced down in Los Cristianos. Holiday makers especially Brits are very resourceful and resilient, I love that spirit that says we paid for this holiday and nothing is going to stop us from enjoying it. As I sipped an early coffee at a bar in the Valdes centre I could see a lone walker on the small peak of Montaña Cayofita that overlooks Las Vistas beach. It was hammering down with rain and pretty windy but this defiant individual seemed totally unruffled, I quite expected him to get out a picnic basket.
Suddenly the tap turned off, the clouds parted and hot sunshine emerged, as quick as a flash people peeled off layers and were ready for action. I took the chance to pop into Via Vai on the old beach front but was half way through my cheese roll when the next episode of rain arrived with a vengence. We all scattered from the exposed tables and sheltered under the awning as the chirpy Candy used a broom to push tidal waves of water off the sagging cover. Back came the sun within minutes so I made a bolt for it, a trick I learnt in metalwork.

Just down the promenade I spotted the fisherwomans statue in Plaza del Pescadora had aquired a brolly, it looked quite fetching but was now more like a sun shade. Strange how these things come in pairs, just round the corner a local chap was snoozing on a bench with his umbrella perched protectively. Las Vistas beach was almost empty of sun worshippers but a few were risking the big waves, one lady stood at the waters edge with her walking poles looking like Queen Canute holding back the waves. For those worried for swimmers (and surfers) safety the flags were set at yellow and the lifeguards were keeping watch, but it was still too wild to entice me in.

The forecast suggests that this wet spell will go in a few days, no rain for our CD Tenerife game in Santa Cruz tomorrow night please. The afternoon ended warm windy and sunny and most seats along the sea front were taken, I even saw a few enjoying ice creams, I was almost tempted to sing Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside but resisted the urge as it frightens the seagulls.

What a difference a goal makes, there we were cruising to a 1-0 win over deadly rivals Las Palmas but the pios nipped in with a 87 th minute equaliser leaving us deflated and coach Mandia heading for the exit door. Honest I did have good intentions, I even asked for a coffee at The Royal Oak at 8am but the coffee machine wasn’t working and before I knew it a beer was plonked in front of me, oh well go with the flow. So began derby day with the pios of Las Palmas coming to town, always a great event and with both teams in a slump it took on extra significance and the beer is all part of the big day.

The sound of happy voices singing filled the 2 coaches of Armada Sur and even eclipsded the sound of bottles and cans clanking, we had a good run up to Santa Cruz with a quicker than usual stop at the Oasis for liquid top ups. We faced a dilema whether to get to our bar before or after the pio fans were marched past on their way to the ground, however the police dropped a surprise on us by not herding the yellow peril up the hill from the port until 10 minutes before the game. What a daft decision, it meant that some of us were held back at the side of the ground as they passed our turnstile and the upper tiers of the heliodoro stadium were able to have some free target practice at the pios. A few hundred of the 1,000 plus pios didn’t get into the ground until 15 minutes into the game, I know we would have been pissed off if the situation had been reversed, quite a few cars near the stadium got trashed maybe the police will pay the bill?

The game promised so much but Tenerife’s weaknesses came back to haunt them, the cause wasn’t helped by Alonso being ruled out with a training back injury. Coach Mandia failed to win all the fans over and his final selection had a few question marks in it, Beranger returned at left back and was as hopeless as he has been all season, Sicilia was put just in front of the back four and looked lost. Las Palmas had a good chance within 10 minutes when Sergio failed to hold a corner but Ruyman could only put his shot wide. Nino was again foraging alone up front, his shot was parried out but was just out of reach of Kome’s boot. Natalio was supposedly helping Nino but looked too lightweight and was easily charged off the ball. Tenerife had Sergio to thank for keeping it a stalemate at half time, he got a hand to a pio shot and Bertran headed the loose ball clear and another one handed punch could easily have fallen into the path of an away attacker.

The second half had a dream start, Omar set up Melli for the break through goal just 6 minutes into the restart, it was a deserved lead but as the 20,000 crowd roared their approval Tenerife failed to show the killer instinct and as the game went on Las Palmas stepped up the poace with young Argentinian sub Quiroga causing plenty of problems. The inexperienced forward brought a good save out of Sergio but with just 3 minutes to go Quero put in a good pass which Quiroga pounced on and finished in style. The pio fans cheered it like it was a world cup winner and we all knew it was 2 points dropped. Given the speed of Antonio Tapia’s appointment as new coach it seems he was waiting in the wings and even victory might not have saved Mandia. It just gets tougher and now the new boss has to work a miracle in the next 2 home games.

Any excuse for a party, I’m sure each year they slip in a few new saints days in the Tenerife calendar to keep us on our toes but there are always some old reliables that fire up the party spirit and this week the weather was at it’s scorching best. Sunday kicked it off with San Antonio de Abad in Arona town, a lovely unspoilt haven just up in the hills and a starting point for many of the mountain walks. I had far less energetic pursuits on my mind this visit and after squeezing onto the Titsa bus I dived straight into the fun and games.
San Antonio is a protector of animals and they come out in force with oxen pulling carts leading the way and everything down to dogs, cats and even ferrets joining in. Drink plays a key role in fiestas, local wine is cheap and plentiful and the bars off the main tourist trails are very reasonably priced, it’s great sampling the atmosphere in the local hostelries as singing and dancing soon has them swinging. The more religious minded packed the church for a service but already the beer was flowing in the plaza among the stalls and various musicians were wetting their whistles.

The parade did a wide lap of the town coming back up alongside the plaza with all guns blazing and food and drink being handed out to anyone willing to reach out a hand. Daytime fireworks? why not, I was just worried that the rockets might scare the oxen and goats into making more street deposits, I did well to avoid stepping in any and also not to get bitten, chewed or nibbled by the animals on show. As I was covering the event for Tenerife Magazine I did my best to clamber on walls and hang off dodgy railings to get better pics through the lively crowd. You can’t beat a Sunday afternoon scoffing a huge baked potato as old ladies in Canarian dress dance and sing for your entertainment, when I left late afternoon there was a natural lull as the stage band took a break but it was sure to burst back into life in the evening.

Onto Thursday and San Sebastian patron saint of Adeje was waiting in the wings, another guardian of animals it was time to rouse the horses, goats and sheep but this time with the end result of riding the horses down into the sea at Playa de La Enramada in La Caleta. Seeing the goats and sheep in their pens reminded me of the old cattle market in Oxford, one of my favourite trips as a nipper, the smells and the chance to stroke the animals. The Tenerife sheep and goats were loving all the attention and the pigs were really hamming it up. Stars of the show though were the horses and foals, groomed to perfection and decorated they looked magnificent, the really keen ones trotting up and down the road to be joined by the ones in the paddock just before the parade marched off.


There were around 30,000 people gathered for the climax of the celebrations, most of them perched in precarious vantage points looking down on the beach. I followed the horses and riders down to the sand and then scrummed down as a wave of people washed over the beach as the horses galloped along the shore line and danced in the waves. The police kept people back at a safe distance but the shifting shingle and incoming tide made it fun keeping our footing. A few riders slithered off their horses and a brave little terrier of a dog raced after them snapping at their hoofs but backed off at the sight of the foaming water. San Sebastian made an appearance carried aloft but as he was carried away the crowd subsided all buzzing with the spectacle they had seen.
Full reports and different photos are on www.tenerifemagazine.com I musr scan my diary and see what other delights are coming up in the next few weeks before Carnaval fever kicks in.
Even though I’m now a Tenerife southerner I still feel the pull sometimes for the west coast where I lived when I first moved to this land of sun, sea, Dorada and CD Tenerife. Puerto Santiago was where I first rented, a lovely Canarian enclave just above Los Gigantes, with some lovely bars and restaurants. Sitting on the terrace outside Bar Camber or Bar Central I could just see the top of Hotel Barcelo Santiago but you can seemuch more of it by winning a weeks holiday in the latest Tenerife Magazine competition.

This 4 star hotel is perched on the craggy coast with views from the pool area across to the towering cliffs thsat give Los Gigantes its name. Packed with the best in accomodation, service and food it welcomes families, couples and singles all with the same warmth. Since I moved on the commercial area nearby has been given a complete facelift and a new coastal walkway has been added so everyone can enjoy the rock pools and great views out to La Gomera and of course to those famous cliffs. Recently I took a walk along the coastal path and was very impressed by what I saw, take a peep yourself.
If you hurry you could still win a weeks half board holiday for two, and it’s dead easy to enter. Just click like on our Tenerife Magazine Facebook page to join the other fans in the draw on Monday 31 January 2011. If you are the lucky winner you have 7 days after we contact you on Facebook to confirm you will be taking the prize, then you and a guest can enjoy a weeks half board stay at Hotel Barcelo Santiago anytime in the next year subject to availability. The prize does not include transport, is not transferable and there is no cash alternative. If the lucky winner does not claim the prize within 7 days it will be drawn again. If you find yourself up on the west coast pop in and have a look around, the staff will make you very welcome – but if you stroll around a few of the local bars don’t mention my name, I think I settled all my bar bills but you can’t be too careful.
Every morning I recite at least 5 stupidly optimistic sayings like Worse Things Happen At Sea and It’s Allways Darkest Before The Dawn but even that doesn’t dispel my sense of impending doom over CD Tenerife. A 1-1 away draw at Ponferradina was better than a defeat but at 7 points adrift from safety it didn’t feel like enough, especially after going 1-0 up.

With no television coverage I was plugged into my MP3 listening to the local radio and the first half sounded encouraging, the neighbours must have wondered what was going on when I yelped with joy after 32 minutes as Mikel Alonso set up Pablo Sicilia for a CDT goal. We needed a win and under fire coach Mandia had set out his stall with a brave new format playing 5-4-1, Bellvis in at left back and Melli playing just in front of Sicilia and Prieto (pic) in the middle of defence. Big midfield letdown Ricardo was benched along with Julio Alvarez giving preference to the more attacking Kome and Omar.
At half time I was planning a few celebratory beers later but fate was cruel, Bellvis had to go off after 59 minutes with a calf injury and it was back to a flat back 4, that seemed to unsettle Tenerife. Sergio made some strong saves again but there was a certain inevitability to the 77 minute equaliser that came from Mayor. Bang went my beer plans as the second from bottom side (guess who’s bottom) held on. Not ideal preperation for the derby game home to Las Palmas on Sunday morning but we will be bright eyed and hopeful against the plunging Pios.

Not the worst performance of the season but probably the most frustrating. The better side for much of the game CD Tenerife made some suicidal mistakes on the pitch and paid with a 1-0 defeat. Off the pitch  in the Grada Popular area home fans boiled over with security staff having to dive in as the terraces started to resemble an episode of the Jeremy Kyle show.
Albacete arrived with 4 of their 5 new signings in the squad, where are ours? and with Saturdays results going badly Tenerife were already back on the bottom of the Segunda Division. The awfull Beranger was out injured so Pablo Sicilia switched to left back and Omar was picked ahead of Juanlu Hens. Tenerife started well, Alonso set up Natalio after 6 minutes but the visitors Costa Rica international goalie Keylor Navas saved well. Natalio looked a little livelier than of late and the tireless Nino made a good run through only to drag his shot just wide.

Albacete creatred few chances and Navas had to make a double save from a Natalio header and a Nino follow up that he hooked away with his legs. Just when we were getting our hopes up a Songo’o break should have been cleared by Melli but he made a hash of it leaving Luna to deal with Tato but his tackle was wild and the forward was only too happy to go down sending Luna towards the dressing room with a red card and giving Tato a penalty that he converted for a 1-0 lead after 25 minutes. That left Tenerife with a mountain to climb and their despondent players haven’t got enough confidence or fight to turn games around. Sicilia filled the central defence gap left by Luna and Omar wasan unexpected choice to fill in at left back but he made a good job of it.
Into the second half with Kome and Hens on for Ricardo and Alvarez but it wasn’t enough to provide a revival. Kome headed over a clear chance and Iriome replaced Natalio to offer another attacking option but it was hard work against an ordinary but rugged Albacete side. Sergio did well to slide out and cut off a Kike raid on goal but the visitors could sense a victory and strung out every stoppage when one of their players went to ground. Some of the 15,609 crowd started to leave early as the reality of another defeat grew, some of the Grada Popular section turned their frustration on the players with some quite savage chants while others urged renewed support. The 2 viewpoints produced a heated flashpoint with pushing, shoving and angry exchanges but as the pitchside security dived in the stand off just simmered away during the 4 minutes of added time. A sad way to end another desperate day and a home game wasted, all eyes are on the hill to see if reinforcements will come riding in – they better be quick.

Does bullying go on in the fish world? If it does I think my dinnertime tuna could have been one of the enforcers, maybe even The Codfather, it was big, a whopper, I didn’t know whether to eat it or offer it a seat at our table. I looked around and my friends plates were also dominated by equally generous and tasty portions. This was of course all in the line of work, albeit in very good company. The setting was the La Cofradia (The Brotherhood) restaurant in the newly restored fishermans block by the Muelle Pesquero, and the gathering was for Tenerife Magazine.
On yet another cloudless sunny Tenerife day I met John Beckley at Sorted Sites in downtown Los Cristianos and he drove us to Santa Cruz to pick up Arantxa Ros, one of the more enlightened social media users in the hotel and tourism trade. Heading on to Puerto de la Cruz we met Jack and Andrea Montgomery and followed their recomendation to try La Cofradia in Calle Las Lonjas. The functional frontage was soon contrasted by the bright modern interior but we chose the outside terrace looking out onto the festive fun fair on the quay side and the turret of the old battlements complete with a sturdy canon peeping over the mottled brick wall. In the distance the sea was lapping over the sea wall while the small harbour offered a much more sedate scene with fishing boats gently bobbing up and down.

A new year and a time to reflect and plan ahead, the last few days Tenerife Magazine has been getting 1,000 visitors a day and the Facebook friends are about to spill over the 3,000 mark. Arantxa was able to give us a refreshing insight into some possible new ways to spread the good word based on her local knowledge and experience. The arrival of a large plate of sardines was a welcome interuption and a good curtain raiser for the main course, my Atun en Salmorejo sauce was a challenge even for my ravenous appetite and the side order of canarian potatoes shared their bathing pleasure between the tangy salmorejo sauce and the usual choice of hot or mild mojo sauce. Dessert seemed the natural way to round it off, a bowl of caramello ice cream hit the spot for me with a coffee afterwards to keep it all tidy.
As the sun crept onto and across the terrace several of the other tables filled and emptied, a very popular spot, luckily Jack and Andrea had pre booked (Tel 922383409) the previous day. Suitably fed and watered we reluctantly departed to digest the ideas we had bounced around, hopefully you will appreciate our plans for Tenerife Magazine in the coming year, and La Cofradia has definately reeled me in for a return visit.

As the shower of sweets rained down I had to keep reminding myself that this was a gesture of goodwill from the 3 Kings as they rode through Los Cristianos. Children, and a fair few adults, formed a festive scrum on the pavement trying to grab a few of the stray sweets that hadn’t been caught and squeals of delight rose above the sound of the marching band that headed the procession. Aah christmas Spanish style is always a delight.

Walking into town the supermarkets were heaving with shoppers topping up on food ahead of the big day Reyes Janaury 6th, and the bakers were doing a roaring trade in Roscons, the traditional ring shaped christmas cake stuffed with cream, fruit and many other tasty variations. My timing was good as the procession had started pretty well as advertised at 7.15 pm from the port. Every vantage point on the harbour wall was taken and the street leading up to town was lined with expectant families. I squeezed into a good spot and waited as the procession approached, much bigger this year and with more groups of children in fancy dress and the usual fire jugglers, acrobats and musicians.

The kings were as always the star attraction, Gaspar, Melchor and Balthazar arrived perched on their camels and spraying great handfuls of sweets to their eager fans. All over Tenerife similar scenes were taking place, in Adeje the kings arrived by helicopter and in Santa Cruz they were holding court in CD Tenerife’s Heliodoro ground. The Reyes tradition marks the arrivsal of the original 3 kings at the stable in Bethlehem with their gifts for the new born baby, sadly this year someone stole the baby Jesus from the crib in Santa Cruz. The camels are always remarkably calm for their annual pilgrimage through the streets but then these are showbiz camels, they probably have their own agent to negotiate their fee.

As the parade turned into Avenida de Suecia the crowds grew even bigger and I had to duck and dive my way through to get some pics as the kings headed towards the cultural centre and their thrones. It was quite cramped as police tried to keep people out of the direct path of the camels and it was a living hell for me to be pushed up against all those young yummy mummys but I stood firm. The arrival at the cultural centre plaza and the dismount of the kings is always a slow process so I adjourned to The Devon Arms for some Dorada and made my way slowly to the plaza. The kings had taken their place on their thrones and were engulfed in a sea of small children, some with parents, waiting to take their turn to meet a king and receive a present, this year wasn’t quite as well marshalled, last year children were invited forward a group at a time but now it was a tidal wave of toddlers. The goats and chickens were taking it all in their stride in their barn area so with a long magical night ahead I popped off for a few beers on my way home.
Unsure of their positions, constantly wandering away from the action and looking lost and forlorn, well that was the plight of the smokers in The Royal Oak but although CD Tenerife were not much better at times, there was more character in their 2-2 draw at Valladolid. Captain and right back Marc Bertran was suspended for the game so Pablo Sicilia filled his position with Nino wearing the arm band and both responded well.
There was a nightmare start as the home side took the lead after 8 minutes, Prieto sliced a clearance high and it broke to Oscar who gratefully stroked it into the net. Tenerife responded quickly, Nino saw his long range blast just miss but Julio Alvarez put in a great cross for Nino to despatch for a 10 th minute equaliser. Sadly after that lifeline Tenerife lost their way and let Valladolid take control, the CDT midfield seemed to be missing in action, maybe they also popped out for an illicit ciggie, Ricardo was back to his invisible worst and even Mikel couldn’t get the engine running.

Valladolid came back in style, former Pio, Nauzet took a free kick and curled in a stunning shot into the top corner with Sergio Aragoneses well beaten. At least defensive flop Prieto went off injured and Luna slotted in nicely alongside Melli but it looked like another big defeat might be a possiblity. Tenerife showed their best form at the start of the second half, Beranger was taken off at half time in favour of Iriome, maybe Mandia has finally realised what a poor excuse for a defender he is. There were some seriously scarey moments, Sergio stood firm in goal especially after a triple salvo at goal which they somehow repelled. Julio Alvarez was getting more involved and Nino as always ran every yard, his christmas wish list must have included a big strike partner.
The game looked to be fading away from Tenerife but with 5 minutes left Iriome popped up at the post to plant a perfect header into the home net. Maybe it wasn’t the best performance but a few good signs and a vital point ahead of 4 home games in January. Another 5 yellow cards could be storing up more problems for Tenerife, even more reason to bring in some new players – over to you Juanjo Lorenzo our new Sporting Director.

Tradition is a wonderful thing and on New Years Eve here in Tenerife that means fireworks, music, grapes and Cava, some head for the town plaza but beach boys like me head down to the coast. Los Cristianos was almost chilly after a sunny afternoon as I headed down the hill and early rockets and bangers had been popping since late morning. The Cultural Centre is one of the focal points for celebration and a stage had been rigged up outside and was now rocking with a latino dance beat and a snazzy light show. Several temporary drink kiosks ensured that limbs and feet were loosened up enticing many mature recruits to the dancing, it’s all about rythm, one experienced local wove his spell by rasping a file on a cheese grater, well technically it was a percussion instrument.
A throbbing deep in my pocket was nothing to do with the slinky female dancers, just my mobile ringing with an invite from Bob of the Armada Sur to meet him and family down at the sea front for a pre midnight beer or two from their well stocked carrier bag. Crowds were already milling along the promenade as the lookie lookie men did a steady trade in silly party hats and chinese lanterns headed skyward with small fires in their baskets. As the magic hour approached crowds took up prime positions with many heading down onto the sand and bottles of champers and Cava were clutched in readiness.

Spanish tradition dictates that a grape should be eaten on each chime of midnight, easily synchronised in some places but with the church plaza bells some way back from the beach there was an element of guess work to welcoming the new year. Most took the whoosh of the first rocket as the signal to embrace, shake hands and wash grapes down with bubbly. This year more than ever the large hotels around the wide arch of the bay dominated the foreworks displays, Arona council are feeling the pinch and understandably cut back on their explosive contribution. It was still an impressive sight as noise and colour ripped through the sky to a chorus of oohs and aahs. Our party had been joined by The General and the Bournemouth section of the Armada Sur and our shared wishes for the year ahead were centred on a revival for CD Tenerife.

After the 15 minutes of fireworks we split and went our seperate ways melting away in various parties, many stayed to dance at the beach but others streamed off to join their own celebrations. For my part I stopped off for a few beers at the Don John in the Apolo Centre and was even Livin On A Prayer at one point, thankfully most people had drunk enough to soften the impact of my demolition of Bon Jovi. Determined to actually see some of 2011’s first day i adjourned fairly early and was in bed by 3 am. Taking the sea air later in the day my admiration of the Arona council cleaning department was further enhanced by the clean promenade, empty bins and bottle less beach after one of the biggest nights of the year. Take a bow those dedicated early birds you did us proud again.