It was like CSI Candelaria as we all donned our white paper suits for a tour of the Mahou brewery. Your average super star footballer would have been straight on the phone to his agent, all hurt and unloved at being forced to wear anything without a designer label. CD Tenerife players are a bit more down to earth and arrived from morning training in a mix of cut off shorts and laid back t-shirts, a few arrived in their sponsored cars but most were on a team bus.

The visit was a thank you acknowledgement to the brewery sponsors of the pre season Mahou Cup, usually played over two legs against the Pios from Las Palmas. It was a double mission for myself and The General as it seemed the perfect time and place to present Suso Santana with his Armada Sur player of the season award. Here’s a weather flash, summer is in full flow and it was damm hot as we drove around the industrial estate trying to find the brewery, I knew we were close when my tongue started salivating.

Once everyone was assembled at the visitors lounge we fanned out in the hall to hear a speech from the brewery officials as all us media folks snapped and filmed. The first call was the storage yard where mountains of bottles and barrels towered above us as a fork lift shifted further supplies around. Cue a big squad line up complete with Mahou officials before they were split into two groups for a pre tour introduction talk. At this point we seized the moment and posed Suso for a snap with The General handing him the trophy.

Then it was dressing up time in the oversize tissue suits and we were led through part of the factory. We had both done the Dorada tour but this was a smaller operation, although they produce Reina as well. None of the machinery was in action but it was stifling hot inside as we were up close and in amongst the machinery, they don’t do public tours, quite a few safety measures would be needed for regular visitors. By a stroke of luck I had researched my subject at the Gastro Canarias food fair a few weeks before when I had sampled all their bottled range and even rung out the barmaids apron for good measure.

The tour took about 30 minutes before we could dump our disposable Alec Guiness suits (ask your Gran) at the visitors centre. With Ayoze Perez due to make a 2 million euro move to Newcastle we did contemplate salvaging the suits to sell to Geordies on Ebay but thought better of it. Most of the club officials joined us in the tasting room, President Concepcion was a notable absentee on the day. We held back as of course CD Tenerife were the main focus of attention but once they were served, several had sin alcohol, we were invited to partake. The sweet irony of the visit amused me, at the weekend three pio players were fined 6,000 euros each for a curfew breaking drinking session after their defeat in Mallorca. Their guilt was proven on social media posts but here were CDT free to enjoy beer as they pleased, I hope they sent phone pics to those pesky pios to rub it in.

At first there were nuts and nibbles on the tables but then I noticed a magic window behind the bar, the waitress was pulling in trays of ever bigger offerings through small cakes, samosas, and then burgers. I’m sure after we left they would have got onto pheasants and swans. After a few final pics and thanks to our hosts, The General and myself made our exit and headed back south. Saturday is the final league game and the last chance to end the dismal losing streak, then the grim reality of new contracts or the dreaded release will focus minds before a busy summer of squad strengthening.