It was like being slapped in the face with a wet fish, in the nicest possible way, jumping off the Titsa bus on the Garachico coast road a cool salty breeze laced with foam from the crashing waves was just the cooling greeting I was seeking. The south of Tenerife was in the grip of a calima with humidity pumping the temperatures into the mid thirties so an escape to the north seemed a great idea.

An early start saw me in Icod de los Vinos for 11 am after a 90 minute ride on the 460 Titsa bus for just 3.65 euros on my Bono ticket. The route always pleases my senses, up through the lovely villages of Santiago del Teide and around the tight roads that cling to the mountains with a sheer drop below. I have owed Garachico a proper visit for years, brief stops on the way through just left me hungry for the full feast, since my last pass through a year ago little seemed to have changed with the new marina but a leaflet picked up later assured me it would be open for January 2012. the 33 million euro project started in 2008 and should give a big boost to local fishermen and the sporty boating brigade.

The rock is the big star of Garachico, a volcanic deposit spat into the sea when a huge eruption of lava engulfed much of the town in 1706, it had played peek a boo with me as my bus travelled along the high road into Icod but close up it was a powerful reminder of a turbulent past and a defiant marker for the future. Climbing the stone steps up to the Ex Convento de Santa Domingo de Guzman I found a shady green plaza in front of the old building. Built in 1601 it’s now a geriatric hospital, exhibition hall, and auditorium as well as a neat spot to survey the sea. A small fountain trickled sedately and lizards scuttled across from plant to plant, one patient at the hospital snoozed in the shade, I was tempted to join him but pushed onwards back down on the Paseo Maritima.

The waves were lively but not threatening but there were plenty of signs of their full power, an old water mill Los Molinos is preserved for visitors, the last remaining one after others were pummelled by the sea, even the football ground had large breaker like protection just a roads crossing from the sea. Nature does balance things up, the El Caleton rock pools are a wonderful collection of channels and fissures in the rocks, free for sun seeking bathers to enjoy. Health and safety in the UK would have them sealed off but in Garachico there are not even any life guards, just a colour coded safety flag plus stone steps and metal stairs into the churning water and then it’s down to your own common sense. There is also a more formal man made pool but the natural way looked much more fun.

Turning away from the sea and up a side street I was rewarded with the Plaza de la Libertad and what a rich treasure that turned out to be. The Iglesia De Nuestra Senora De Los Angeles and the Ayuntamiento building were impressive but shelling out a paltry euro I entered the Ex Convento De San Francisco which dates back to 1524 (that’s nearly half past three). The concentric cobbled corridors were lined with cabinets full of rare shells and fossils, exhibition halls led off displaying various art works, and the courtyards just brimmed with beauty. Up on the first floor the exhibition Canarias – Volcanes En El Oceano was continuing its educational tour and although closed for the afternoon the library offered another service to well served locals.

Heading back out to the sea front I ventured another euro to make the short walk onto the tower roof of the Castillo San Miguel. This had survived fire and lava since its birth in 1575 and the rusty canon and anchors just below stood testament to its valiant efforts to repel pirates. Nature had of course proved to be a more formidable opponent and even now the slopes of the cliffs show the path of two of the main lava flows, there were seven seperate prongs of the volcanic activity. Grabbing a cold drink left my in perfect time to catch the 363 hourly bus back to Icod, just one euro and ten minutes and I was back in a rather deserted home of the drago tree. Retracing my bus trip back south I broke the journey in Tejina for a few cool drinks with friends before pitching up in Los Cristianos for a few late Doradas at a party packed Merry Monk, well it was still very humid in the south.

What a good way to start the weekend, hanging around the docks with sailors and hairy bikers, ooh do you know I think that could be taken the wrong way by some mucky minds. This was all in the line of work, leaping out of bed early I caught the Titsa bus to Santa Cruz and was sat outside a cafe with a coffee and a salami and cheese bocadillo by 9 am. Tenerife’s capital city slowly kicks into action on a Saturday morning, most shops hadn’t opened yet and it was quiet as I walked through to the ferry port. The ongoing work to the Via Litoral meant a slight detour and has also seen the monument to Nelson taken into storage for a while, but more of the Admiral later.

Following a lone Vespa round to the Armas ferry quayside I found a swarm of them all gearing up for their Vespasion tour of north Tenerife and awaiting more scooters from Gran Canaria. I’d had a small preview when Vespas helped set the tone for the Peroni calendar shoot a week ago and had followed up the local enthusiasts on their website. But what was this, a large group of bikers was set up a few yards away and more Harleys, Hondas and Suzukis were sweeping into the parking area. Thankfully I wasn’t in the middle of a turf war, just great minds thinking alike, the biker fans were also having a north Tenerife rally and two day tour. I’ve never had a moped, scooter or chopper, speedway was the closest I came to engine envy, but caught in this Quadrophenia meets Born To Be Wild scenario I was very impressed with these classic motors. The ferry arrived late and more merry motorcyclists poured down the gangplank boosting the gathering to around 200 with a 50 50 split of scooters and bikers. There’s a full report and photos galore at www.tenerifemagazine.com.

I felt a stirring and a call to arms, this was no ordinary weekend but the anniversary of Nelsons thwarted invasion of Tenerife in 1797 and a small scale march was set for the city centre soon after noon so I had to head inland. The actual anniversary day is 25 July and the local historical group for La Gesta had planned events for Saturday to Monday but budgets and cultural funding have been slashed so it all came down to a few good men, a replica canon and some dry ships biscuits.

Taking a drink and a catch up of the local papers in Plaza del Candelaria there was a small demo being made against cruelty to animals with some owners accompanied by their dogs on leads. An advance trooper from the Nelson march was handing out leaflets and fending off sniffing pooches, the protesters were in no hurry to move on, could have made an interesting mix as a naughty dog widdled on the gunpowder and changed the course of history. Refreshed I cut through to Plaza del Principe where the small group of soldiers were posing with rifles and the 2006 built replica canon on wheels. I recognised some of the players from previous years. Nelson wasn’t there himself, he was an early injury having his arm shattered after just stepping foot on Tenerife soil. Shoppers and strollers tagged along as the group marched down towards Plaza de España, there seemed to be quite a bit of artisitic licence at play with the main characters, one figure looked more like Mussolini.

A steady drum beat and a police escort later the soldiers were stood to attention at the edge of the Plaza de España lake with the canon facing out to sea – were they going to shell Las Palmas? There was an agonizing wait when it seemed that the canon might not fire but fair play when it blew it had quite a punch and scattered pigeons to the four winds. That was about it for the re-enactment, no sea invasion with musket fire and full battle like last year and no marking the main points of the story arouns the city. I couldn’t help thinking that although it’s great to see history preserved, maybe it might be better to make this a sporadic affair, maybe every two years to justify a decent budget.

The memory of the battle will never be forgotten, the Tiger canon is on display down below Plaza de España among the remains of the city wall. If you want a very modern tribute to this part of history check out a new locally developed computer video game that features a young Canarian boy and his dog Tigre slipping back in time to take part in the battle.

Vespa scooters lined the entrance to La Noria but unsurprisingly on a hot Tenerife night there was not a parka coat in sight, just stylish male and slinky female models. The La Noria district of Santa Cruz is a magnet for the well dressed, trendy, and sophisticated but they forgot to put the fashion police on standby and I sneaked in. It was time for the Peroni beer calendar shoot, I had only just calmed down from last years and this year there were plenty of bottles of the Italian beverage floating around to further encourage me.

Why would they dress Santa Cruz up as Italy? Well that connection comes through Dorada and their parent company Compania Cervecera Canarias who distribute Peroni in the Canary Islands. The end of La Noria just below the main road bridge has eight very popular restaurants with large seating areas outside, through the middle of these the walkway had been covered with a red carpet that acted as a sort of catwalk for the diners to salivate over after they had finished their food. This year the female models were joined by a few males to play out some romantic scenes, an extra bonus was a bevy of Peroni promotion girls in figure hugging black dresses.

The first shoot took place out of most guests sight, down a small alley, I managed to elbow my way among the photographers watching the official snapper Alfonso Bravo direct his couple into the perfect smoochey late night stroll home. Last year it was all shush as the official photos were taken but this time a small band strummed away on a nearby stage and the sound of happy chatter hung in the air. I shoe horned my way in among the media pack at the alley entrance and enjoyed the show, another couple cuddling in the shadows just behind the main stars added another layer of late night passion.

Taking to the red carpet the whole group headed to the far end of La Noria and enjoyed a few cold bottles while posing for some relaxed shots. There was nearly a PR incident as a van of promotional girls for a forthcoming southern music festival tried to crash the gig, after a short stand off they went on their way, I’m not sure if horses heads and beds were mentioned. That left the way clear for a large group shot of the models emerging from under the archway as a relaxed jolly gang out on the town laughing and swigging a few Peroni’s. There is a narrow cobbled street through La Noria and every now and then a stray cyclist would disturb the shooting by threading their way past the models but they took it all in their stride.

Luckily for me the models didn’t open most of the bottles preferring to use them for props in the shots and then leaving them on steps and shelfs, being public spirited I couldn’t just let them litter the place up so I drained them purely in the interests of quality control. Most of the diners had finished eating by now, as the night wears on La Noria becomes more of an up market late drinking venue, I have had a few good late ones there waiting for the sporadic nocturnal Titsa bus es to the south. It will be interesting to see how the calendars look when they emerge later in the year, not that they will be on sale, the 500 copies are for corporate contacts. The public shoot experiment had worked well and the models were very obliging in spreading themselves over the scooters and cars, I headed back down south with a big grin on my face. For more pics and a full report see Tenerife Magazine.

I don’t like straight lines, they bore me, I need extremes, the downs make the ups even higher, supporting CD Tenerife certainly fits in with that outlook. Work is very like that too, sometimes it goes quiet and the stories are thin on the ground but then along comes a busy spell, last week was a little belter. The PWA World Cup of windsurfing had been penciled in my diary for a while and I planned to pop down to El Medano on Tuesday to catch the pre tournament build up, then the day before the PKRA – Professional Kite Riders Association dropped me an invite for a Tuesday morning press conference at Hotel Las Arenas, also in El Medano. The Master Cup, due from 8 to 14 August, had just leapfroged my plans.

The Titsa bus was pushing it for the 11 am gathering but after speed walking along the sea front to the 4 star hotel I arrived hot and sweaty to find they were nowhere near ready. Waiting nearly an hour for the Granadilla mayor to show up I had time to admire the Reina promotion girls and their large bowls ….of bottled beer packed in ice. The meeting was on the sun terrace where sun loungers were rapidly filling up as the sun swung out of the shadows to start grilling them, a small side opening led down onto the Playa de Los Balos where a few were taking an early dip as the JCB’s flattened and expanded the beach. After nearly an hour the mayor sneaked in, took his seat at the top table and with the three other officials rattled through the basics, at least the beer finally got popped open. Before I left I had a sneaky look around the hotel, very nice despite its car park like outer appearance, the large shells set off the smart but empty lobby and the restaurant looked nice as I pressed my nose against the glass.

Heading back to the centre of town I stopped at Playa El Cabezo, home for the windsurfing, the council were still paving the area in front of the mobile bar and up behind large vans were emptying out stacks of windsurf boards in protective covers that looked like body bags. Some surf dudes were relaxing and several more were out on the sea getting some early practice in, the keen locals were out in force in the strong wind and further to the west kiteboarders were strutting their stuff, the overlap was a wild exhilerating sporting venn diagram. A few more photos and a face full of pancake at La Boheme and I was heading back to Los Cristianos, sadly at home a schoolboy error saw me wipe my photos as I went to download them. The surf shots could be replaced and bettered but oh no those nicely posed pics of the Reina girls were also lost.

Back on Thursday for the start of the PWA World Cup and the wind had got even stronger, perfect for the surfers, the paving was finished, the railed off part of the beach was packed with boards and riders in a pits style and in small groups they dragged their boards into the sea and did 12 minutes of gravity defying action each. one of the most impressive aspects was the chilled atmosphere, no security pushing people around and families and even their dogs took vantage points up on a sandy ridge that was doused with a cooling spray evey few waves. I wandered through the pit area to the control hut to scribble down some details and several riders obligingly posed for photos, no one seemed worried that I was picking my way between boards worth around 1,500 euros each.

The action was amazing, fast, daring and acrobatic, flipping those boards and sails to hang upside down in the air for a few seconds must take great stamina. Even as riders defied the laws of gravity there were still local surfers whizzing around, well you can’t seal off part of the Atlantic. I came away with increased admiration for these talented sportsmen and women, not just for their skills but also their modest, friendly and approachable manner. For more photos and in depth report go to www.tenerifemagazine.com In mid afternoon I got an invite from the media agency handling the Peroni calendar shoot in Santa Cruz the next day – an offer I couldn’t refuse.

Grain by grain, petal by petal, families came together to piece together this years stunning collection of street carpets in the heart of La Orotava. Not even an unusually cloudy and moist day could dampen the enthusiasm of the annual devotion to the Corpus Christi celebrations. The huge central tapestry in the Plaza del Ayuntamiento had already been completed over 55 days with coloured sand and now the streets were being transformed into a blaze of colour like a living jigsaw.

Leaving the scorching south of Los Cristianos early I headed to Puerto de la Cruz on the 343 Titsa bus, I thought it would be packed with other carpet baggers but it was only half full. Reading the paper I saw that flights had been diveted the previous day from Los Rodeos airport in the north of Tenerife and as is so often the case the cloud got lower and thicker as the bus reached it, worse than I have seen for a long time. It was better into Puerto but swapping onto a La Orotava link of 10 minutes it got thicker again and was almost chilly when I got out. There was a good stream of people heading for the heart of the town but I thought there was more tatt and stalls on sale than at my last carpet trip 2 years ago.

Soon I was stood behind two short nuns shuffling up the stairs of the Ayuntamiento (council)Â building to get a view from the balconies of the main display in the plaza below. Some one trod on my sore toe during the jockeying for a good position, I uttered one rude word in English, thankfully the nuns were oblivious, I didn’t want to start a religious outrage so early in the day. The tapestries were as awesome as ever and at first glance you would think they were painted rather than made with millions of grains of coloured sand placed over a template. The streams of visitors below looked endless and the sky still looked grey but I could see some people up the tower of the church and made a mental note to try to scale that vantage point myself. Everyone was so enchanted with the plaza carpets they paid little attention to the splendour of the council chambers, glittering chandeliers, expensive looking paintings and religious sculptures all jostled for my interest but they were not the stars today.

Back out on the street I joined the slow march upward along one pavement as other passed back on the other side, all admiring the developing masterpieces on the road between. The main plaza is always completed in advance and the surrounding streets on the big day, many families have been involved for several generations and it was good to see young children learning the craft at their parents sides. Wooden frames are used for guidance but the measuring out and sprinkling of dried petals and sand is a skillful process that is carried out with precision. I tried to be tactful as I took photos and avoided making too many large bottoms semi famous. The streets wound round and down again towards the Church of the Concepcion so I went inside to marvel at the structure and decoration of the church that was built in 1788.

Just like 2 years ago some young boys were left to guard the locked door up to the tower and were only letting family through, looked like they had a huge family, I offered to marry their sister but they didn’t go for that and I never got my birds eye view. Back outside their was definately fine drizzle in the air but it didn’t make much difference to the celebrations as people began to dance to guitars and drums. The day would stretch on for a lot longer until the evening procession marched all over the hard work and destroyed the carpets, no one minds their achievements have already been recognised. Another tradition is being passed on in safe hands.

On the day Tenerife bursts into flames on the beaches around the coast, the government issued a ban on fires and BBQ’s in the hills due to the heatwave that is roasting the island. Well it has been hot, very hot, at the beach in the afternoon it had slipped to a chilly 31 degrees but even as I headed down to Los Cristianos beaches again at 10.30 pm it was still reading 24 degrees.

Noche de San Juan is our own little bit of mid summer madness and with the weather so hot there was a bumper beach bonanza this year. I met some Armada Sur friends Dave and Annie near the old beach and the promenade was packed with the dedicated and the curious. The statue of San Juan, or Saint John to his close friends, had been carried down a little earlier and was holding court at the Plaza del Pescadora in front of tables serving tapas and a large music system pumping out variations on Canarian dance tunes. Some people carried flowers ready to cast on the sea, just one way to symbolize cleansing the bad and wishing for better in the year ahead.

As we walked through the tunnel to Las Vistas beach we left behind one large bonfire burning brightly on the old beach, already several splinter fires were being set up in the sand as focal points for families and their nocturnal picnics. On the bigger beach the flames of several large fires were licking at the night sky as young revellers streamed down the steps from San Telmo armed with bundles of card for fuel, and of course the inevitable clinking carrier bags of cheap beer and spirits. Not wanting to be left out we stopped at Goodfellas bar, nicely positioned at the centre of the promenade with good views of the teaming mass of half dressed bodies dancing on the beach.

Taking a few cool Doradas we were joined by another Armada Sur couple Ian and Janette and chatted as we watched the sights go by, many were hopping over the wall onto the sand where some were making close runs through the very edges of the flames. On the beach some larger parties had set up stashes of booze and were clearly in for the duration, others were dancing to radios or scoffing. With midnight approaching I made my excuses and hit the sand wending my way through the gathered groups to the shore to see people running into the waves, some fully clothed. Normally people make small fires from a few sticks and jump them while making a wish but the cooling sea was the main attraction this year. I was wearing my CD Tenerife shirt and had a few drinks forced down my gullet, honest I didn’t want them.

As I moved along Las Vistas to head to the old beach some massive lean to wood stacks were promising fires of epic proportions later. As I emerged near the Plaza del Pescadora many plump elder ladies were grooving like grannies at a wedding to spiced up Canarian music, i lingerd a while but drew the line when the DJ went all 80’s mainstream and bunged on Jive Bunny – not very traditional. Not wishing to roast my chestnuts on an open fire and rather thirsty from the smoke I headed home via The Merry Monk for a few late, or should that be early nightcaps. After a few quieter years it was good to see the beaches heaving for one of the highlights of the fiesta year

Plaza Weyler in Santa Cruz is often the starting point for protest marches but this Sunday 19 June could see one of the biggest yet. Madrid was the birthplace of the 15M protest that started in Puerta del Sol on 15 May with thousands camping peacefully for weeks to protest at the greed and corruption of politicians and bankers that is being felt by the poorest in society.

A couple of weeks ago I was up in Tenerife’s capital Santa Cruz and saw our own Acampada in Plaza de Candelaria. It was a big site made up of tents, workshops, kitchens, and even Radio 15M a rebel broadcast station. Ok it was small compared to the Madrid version and the many others that spread across Spain but still significant. The camps have started closing down now, in Madrid they are melting away but leaving a small presence. Last Saturday the police went in to clear Plaza de Candelaria, it’s remarkable they have been so unusually restrained over the weeks, local press reports say 5 people needed hospital treatment, the first alleged violence surrounding this protest.

Posters have been going up the last few days for this Toma La Calle (take the street) protest this Sunday at 6pm. Over on the mainland marches are due to start in major cities also on Sunday to slowly converge on Madrid for 17 July. People are getting angry, they see the leaders, politicians and bankers playing Monopoly with the economy, losing a fortune and then telling the people they serve to tighten their belts a bit more to pay for it.

I’m surprised there has not been more revolution in the UK, everyday the news is full of more jobs being slashed and pensions being cut at the same time as big companies hike prices (19% gas increase) to feed the ever rising packages of their directors. Teachers are now threatening to strike in the UK to protest at their pensions being cut back, I just saw an MP on the news spluttering about how outrageous it is – nothing wrong with fiddling expenses of course.

I’m sure the teachers and many others were as impressed as I was yesterday to see former Marks and Spencer boss Stuart Rose on the news proudly saying he deserved his 8.1 million golden handshake when leaving his job – more like a golden 2 fingers to everyone else. Maybe the recent uprisings in oppressive countries around the world has shown people that they can change. Power to the people as Wolfie Smith used to say.

Not a string vest or knotted hanky in sight just young enthusiastic local models and a selection of clothes and accessories from shops close to the catwalk. Plaza del Pescadora looked Absolutely Fabulous as fashion took centre stage at Los Cristianos old beach last night with two shows.

On the way down I passed children sitting for face painting at one stall and free make overs outside the Mego perfume store, luckily for them I didn’t set them the ultimate challenge. Arriving at the stage area Mickey and Minnie Mouse were parading and entertaining the crowd of families and holiday makers. I was surprised to see security staff at each end of the catwalk, maybe Minnie Mouse had heard that Ryan Giggs was on the prowl.

The shows were organised by the local business association to boost trade, an excellent idea, just a pity it was only advertised in the immediate area. Once the cartoon heroes had departed the compare took the microphone and invited the first models to hit the catwalk from their impromptu back stage dressing rooms. Each group of models showcased the stock of a different shop, many were for youth fashion but there was also emphasis on glasses, shoes and bags. For some strange reason my photos have captured mainly the ladies but there were some male models too. All were volunteers from local schools and colleges, fair play to the young chaps for running the gauntlet of their teenage friends in the crowd.

There was a section for toddlers that was packed with the aaah factor. The first boy and girl were quite happy and revelled in the attention but the next couple had a difference of outlook. The little girl was ready to stride out and milk the crowd but the boy got an attack of shyness and was rooted to the spot fighting back the tears. After a lot of coaxing, cheering, steering, and almost dragging by the much keener girl he did take a bow, the applause was warm and very loud.

After starting as a clear sunny day the clouds had appeared for the 6.30 pm first show but the spotlights were all rigged, the sound system ensured music and commentary for all and the video wall turned the models into giants and made sure everyone knew where they could buy the fashion items.

A well presented show with some very plucky models but a bigger crowd would have enjoyed it if the advertising had been aimed further afield and in a range of languages. There are two more parades tonight (Saturday) at 6.30 pm and 8.30 pm, try to catch them. You can see more photos here.

Snorting, grunting and oinking he stuck his head deep in the bucket and devoured every last morsel. Maybe I’m talking about my breakfast routine, maybe about the rare Canarian Black Pig at Agrocanarias in Santa Cruz, or maybe both! For me it was a day to get far away from British TV and bunting, so with a notebook crammed with events I caught the early 111 Titsa bus up to the capital from Los Cristianos.

First stop was Plaza de España to delve below and taste some history around the old remains of Castillo de San Cristobal. The surviving fragments of the old castle wall were re-discovered when the plaza was rebuilt in 2006 and now make a nice free dip into the beseiged past of the city with pride of place going to the Tigre (tiger) canon that shot Nelson and stopped his invasion in its tracks. The developers have done a nice job of bringing the maritime past to life and with commentary and information in English as well as Spanish it’s an overlooked but fascinating insight into a British naval hero.

I have been meaning to see the Frans Lanting photo exhibition Vida, Un Viaje A Traves Del Tiempo since the 28 March opening so when I surfaced to a sprinkling of rain the Caja Canarias exhibition hall in Plaza del Patriotismo seemed an appropriate next call. The Dutch photographer is a master of wildlife shots and has filled the pages of National Geographic with some stunning photos. This exhibition is a journey through time starting from the creation of the Earth and through the evolution of life from volcanoes in Hawaii to Quiver trees in South Africa and sand dunes in Australia. Each dramatic photo comes with explanations in Spanish and English including the equipment and technique used to get the snap. It’s open until 30 June, Mon to Weds 11 am to 1 pm and 5 pm to 9 pm, Thurs & Fri 11 to 1 and 5 to 8, Sat 11 to 2 and 5 to 8, it’s 5 euros to get in, 2 euros for residents, and free for Caja Canarias account holders.

A short walk up to Parque Garcia Sanabria and the Feria of flowers, plants, and local customs was just getting underway, finishing on Tues 3 May. It’s a beautiful park at any time but now its long leafy walks that centre on the fountain and performance area were lined with stalls offering loads of goodies. Friday was not a holiday in Spain and that with the dodgy weather meant it wasn’t very busy but with live music and childrens entertainment to come over the long weekend it would certainly pick up. Off the main paths there are ponds, sculptures, waterfalls, kids play areas and lovely picnic zones. Trade was slow at the stalls but I did my bit by buying a home made chocolate cake and a tasty lemon cake, a few people were buying floral displays and the crafts like basket weaving and cigar making attracted a few curious visitors. My old complaint rung true again, there were posters around the park and stacks of programmes on all the stalls but it wasn’t advertised outside of the event, when will they learn. It’s only a few minutes walk from Plaza de España or Plaza Weyler and the key times are 11 am to 2 pm and 5 pm to 9 pm each day, free entry.

Heading to the other end of Santa Cruz the Recinto Ferial exhibition hall was my target for Agrocanarias, not a gathering of football hooligans but a massive showcase for all the best in agriculture from across the 7 Canary Islands. Just 3 euros for this one and I barely had time to pass through the doors before being offered free biscuits and sweets, preperation for the goodie bags and samples being handed out at some of the 83 stalls on the 16,000 square metre site. The emphasis is on trade interest but there is something for everyone, the Canarian cooking championships were due to conclude later that day in the multi kitchen area, Masterchef with local ingredients. A parade of tractors and digging machines gleamed to the side of me and the little ditty I can’t read and I can’t write but it don’t really matter because I come from Oxfordshire and I can drive a tractor sprung into my head but I kept it to myself.

Moving down through the hall I picked at cheese samples and sipped the odd taster of wine, a horse was being limbered up in the show jumping ring and just beyond that was the livestock section and those lovely black pigs, straight tails not a curl in sight. OK lets get the giggle fest out of the way up front, there were bullocks, rams, and rampant cocks on display, the docile donkeys were a big attraction for parents to lift their kids close to stroke them. I felt sorry for the cows, sheep and bulls they all looked very sad, maybe they knew what the future held for them, several flared their nostrils and stamped hooves when I got near, well I had recently enjoyed meat balls. The show finishes on Sunday but there are some great events held at the Recinto Ferial and with a balcony cafe bar and a restaurant it’s a good place to visit.For me that was my list exhausted and time to return south, a great day out and not a royal in sight.

Pagaentry and palms have replaced my old Good Friday morning routine of shale and speedway. Years ago back home it would have been the big opening meeting for Oxford Cheetahs but in Tenerife it’s time for The Passion in Adeje, a stirring piece of street theatre telling the story of Easter, the betrayal and cruxificion of Jesus.

Attention to detail is vital and while 10,000 people jostled for prime positions in Calle Grande, the Roman soldiers and chariots waited as one of the back stage crew used a dust pan to tidy up the enthusiasm of the horses. The whole community takes part in the preceeding months making costumes and scenery and learning their steps for the march through the pages of the bible. This year the new look plaza offered more vantage points and scaffolding in front of the church gave a grandstand view to the early arrivals. At Noon the procession got underway to strident marching music over the many speakers hanging from the tree lined avenue.

There’s quite an expectant hush as it all gets underway and a real feel of reverance and emotion, I had put the hand brake on my over active sense of humour, especially after noticing that the empress carried in her mobile lounge looked quite like Amy Winehouse. The pavements were packed and arms held aloft a sea of cameras to record the first tableau where The Last Supper was played out. All the main characters have head mikes so the crowds can hear the dialogue in Spanish. The music was a mix of old hynms and more modern tunes like I Don’t know How To Love Him from Jesus Christ Superstar, all performed with clarity and emotion.

The action moved down the road with stops for the Garden of Gethsemane and the Roman court as Judas betrays his leader and sentence is passed. Though all this cameramen in robes to blend in film at close quarters for the giant screen further down the street and the TV coverage. Jesus is the only professional actor of the ensemble and he really wrings out every drop as he appeals to the court and is then whipped and forced to take up the cross to carry down to the place of his death. It was heaving down at the smaller plaza where the cruxificion would take place but I managed to dodge through the side streets to get a good spot. It’s all a bit of a scrum down, a tourist in front of me kept complaining that she was missing bits, I told her I would lend her the book.

The finale is stunning, there were many tears being wiped away in the crowd as Jesus was held down and nailed to the cross which was then stood upright. Holding on to small foot and hand holds is difficult enough for Jesus but delivering the speech of forgiveness for his persecuters at the same time takes amazing concentration. After the life ebbed away and Jesus was cut down the body was paraded up the street on an open coffin before the 2 hour masterpiece melted away. Religious or not it’s impossible not to feel the hairs on your neck tingling to this tour de force, many visiting tourists looked genuinely moved and will have discovered something special about the bond between church and people in Tenerife.