Delays and over runs are a fact of life in Tenerife, noone expects any project to run to schedule – or budget, but I find it a bit annoying when they have a show piece inauguration for a project before it is finished. It’s nice for the politicians to get their grins in the media but looks silly when the fences go back up after the ceremony. Over the last two weeks I visited the sites of two major building projects a few days after they were unveiled to the world – and found drastically different results.

Let’s start with the new Garachico port, much neeeded to boost the local economy it was started in 2008 with a finish date of 10 September 2011 and a budget of 33,150,0oo euros. The revised date was mid January 2012, I had a peek early in that month and it was clearly a long way from finished but even then showed it would be a pretty impressive home to 200 berths and even a small ferry. The inauguration was set for 14 May so I planned a trip a few days after that. The big day was splashed over the local media with two small boats bobbing up and down in the port but it was eerily empty when I called in and the fences were back up.

The port still lacks gruas to lift boats in and out, it was daytime soI couldn’t tell if the electrics were working for the street lights around the dock. Fair play they have made massive strides, the port wall and dyke was defiantly made up of 1,700 concrete blocks of 70 tons each – I didn’t count them all. There was a big Neptune theme running along the concrete surrond with bigger murals of the King of the Sea’s head at regular intervals. Hopefully it will be just a few more months before it is functional and busy, wouldn’t it have made sense to do the big bash later?

Then on 18 May Callao Salvaje’s much delayed beach received its inauguration – cue photos of councillors making speeches on the sand but I didn’t see any of people taking to the water. Ever hopeful I headed up west a few days later and was greeted by the uplifting sight of sun bathers, swimmers, and even divers enjoying the fresh and inviting beach. Playa Ajabo was always a wild natural beach at the mervy of frequent big waves, a dyke and a quayside reaching out across part of the cove have tamed the sea and on a hot clear day it was a lovely place to be. Work started in 2009 and stuttered along as the cost rose to 1.8 million euros, whenI last looked in February there was still a huge pile of sand waiting to be spread out on what resembled a building site.

Things are very different now, wide walk ways down at each side of the cove and a wooden path leading to the shore beckon you to lapup the sunshine. I like the two outcrops of rock that protrude through the sand to break up the eyeline and add a bit of character, and far round one side beyond the quay there is a series of steps that makes a nice chill out zone to read or just enjoy the sea view. There is more to come, a raised changing and toilet block at the rear of the beach is not in use and a kiosk at the very top is awaiting someone to take it on selling snacks and drinks. Benches are at key points and on my visit a few people were enjoying a mini picnic, it’s a very family friendly beach.

Nature will no doubt put it to the test at some point but they look prepared, a large area of netting is guarding against any small rock falls and a tunnel and furrows in the sand at each side of the beach should channel any storm water straight out into the sea. It’s been a long wait but it’s a classy addition to the area. I must pop back soon and have a mice stroll along the cliff top path from Playa Paraiso followed by a cooling dip in the sea.

Lanzarote made quite an impression on me during my week over there – and not just because I managed to squeeze in a visit to the local football team.Sands BeachResort in Costa Teguise was my base and I tried three of their six pools for my early morning dip. Now Tenerife Magazine is giving you the chance to explore this land of volcanic rebirth with a free weeks holiday for two at Sands Beach Resort.

During my trip I packed in some of the big tourist attractions like Timafaya National Parkwhere volcanic heat performs party tricks like cooking food and propelling a geyser high into the air. Swimming as always was on my agenda, Costa Teguise beaches are popular with families and surfers. The more active guests at Sands Beach Resort used their sea water lagoon to learn windsurfing and scuba diving, outside horse riding and running are popular, Jenson Button keeps fit outside the motor racing season with triathlons in Lanzarote. Next time over, I’m going to check out the walking trails but in the meantime you can keep up with the news from Sands Beach Resort at their Facebook or Twitter contacts.

Oops there’s me wobbling on and you want to know how win this weeks half board holiday for two people. Just go to the Tenerife Magazine homepage, answer a simple question and sit back and wait for the draw on 31 March. You must claim your prize within two weeks of notification and it’s not transferable. The prize at Sands Beach Resort must be taken, subject to availability, and excluding public holidays and fiestas, within 12 months and does not include flights. Go on give it a go, you could be the winner.

Battered by the elements, restricted by politicians quotas, and now hit by the recession, these are difficult days for the fishermen of Tenerife. Tradition is being eroded as ports and marinas look for boats with more profitable cargos suh as pleasure craft.

Los Cristianos is feeling the pinch more than most, the Cofradia, fishermens association is fighting for survival with outstanding collective debts of 40,000 euros for mooring and the facilities they use to land and package their catch. The latest meeting this week with local port officials and politicians ended in a tense stand off. At the same time the traditional landing point between the old beach and the ferry port has been undergoing an expensive facelift with new pontoons filling the area. Some moorings are now in use but the official inauguration has yet to take place and the petrol pumps are still covered.

Further around the coast in El Medano the small concrete mooring area at Playa Chica is being cleared, 17 boats will see their three months notice run out at the end of February. The area just behind the bus stops is to become a “solarium” surely the sandy beaches and dunes are ample tanning grounds as it is? Then there is Las Galletas where the fishermen are refusing to move into their custom built area La Lonja (below) preferring to wash, gut, and sell their daily catch where the public can see them in the old wooden stalls which are at the roadside.

The new marina was opened in March 2008 but neither the fishermen or the Policia Local have taken up residence in their new modern home. The fishermen say they were promised that their new vending point would be a lot nearer the passing public than it has turned out to be, this is another dispute that will roll on. Long before tourism gave the south of Tenerife a new income, fishing has been a way of life for generations eating at the many local fish restaurants it’s always good to know that the food was locally caught. Hopefully progress and financial pressures can be balanced off against tradition and identity, otherwise we may as well pave the whole coast and put up a parking lot.

Like Clark Kent’s transformation in reverse I swept through Birmingham airport and train station adding layers of clothing as I went – but still felt cold. Yep it’s a trip back to Oxford. Only a few days so frantically fitting things in and today, Saturday, I managed a trip to London for the Destinations Holiday and Travel Show at Earls Court.

Good connections and an early start got me in the warm foyer for doors opening so once I grabbed my press pack and pass I was in amongst the action. It was a slow start but as more people poured in the atmosphere improved and after a few exploring tours I began to pick out a few favourites to focus on. There were two performance areas, two theatres for talks by experts and one Taste The World area for cuisine from various sources. I was near the front to watch Indian cook Manju Malhi (below) whip up a south Indian chicken curry and a north Indian spinach curry, the chicken tasted wonderful. A bit later Levi Roots took to the small cooking area and produced a tasty red snapper with lime and peppers yummy.

I sought out the Tenerife Tourism stand, it was doing a brisk trade, hopefully some of those enquiring will be heading out for holidays soon. There were a lot of far flung destinations and adventure holidays including a Tipi (wigwam) and canoe break around the river Wye, Australian outback adventures, and African safaris. It wasn’t just the obvious holiday based companies pitching for sales and bookings, there were massage beds, insect repellent sprays and revolutionary shoes to put a spring in your step.

I was strangely attracted to the salsa dancers in their skimpy outfits and the Malaysian dancers with their incredibly small and dainty feet. The large cake and doughnut stall made my mouth water, and that was just the sales girls with their lovely buns. Later in the day all the cakes were reduced to 2 pounds so it would have been rude of me not to shovel a mammoth chocolate eclair down my gullet. Not that I went hungry, there were samples on offer from the Cheshire cheese stand, Cadburys World and some surprisingly nice Vegan soda bread. I was forced to try two new varieties of brandy liquer, one with apple and blackcurrant at 20 percent proof, and another called Bloody Furlong with apple and maple at 27 % proof. The surprise with these was they came from Herefordshire – very welcome though.

With a last tour to make sure I had entered all the competitions going and ensured I hadn’t missed any exotic dancers, I was back out in the cold for the underground journey and coach. At that point it was just perishing cold but no snow, by the time the coach hit Oxford the snow was cascading down and a white blanket greeted me forcing me to seek solace in a couple of town pubs. I decided not to be late, just as well, I had just got off the bus as it crested the hill and it swerved across an icy patch and stopped in its tracks. Another bus and a car did the same in the opposite direction and they were all stranded as the snow built up around them – the end of public transport for the night. Never mind it had been a good day and Tenerife was on the horizon for my return home.

Life is often as flat as a pancake after all the madness of Christmas and NewYear but you can pump it up with a weeks half board holiday for two at the four star Hotel Las Aguilas thanks to Tenerife Magazine.

Perched on a hill overlooking Puerto de la Cruz the views of Mount Teide and the surrounding valleys are amazing. Last time I popped in there was even snow on Teide’s peak, quite a contrast to the sun terrace by one of the outside bars or the energetic aerobics going on in one of the swimming pools.

Of course being a nosey git I had a good dig around and was impressed, a good choice of restaurants, tennis courts, and even a giant chess set so I could pretend to be intellectual. My friends had been staying there for a week and enjoyed the nightly music and entertainment but being fellow explorers they had taken advantage of the shuttle bus down to Puerto de la Cruz to check out the shops and tour the plazas and historic battlements.

The north of Tenerife has a whole different flavour so Hotel Las Aguilas is the perfect base for walking and sampling nearby towns and villages, even the capital Santa Cruz is just a short jaunt away.

Anyway if you want to win a weeks half board holiday for two, just click on the Tenerife Magazine home page and answer an easy question. The prize will be drawn on Tuesday 31^st January and can be taken, subject to availability, within the next year. The prize is not transferable and must be claimed within 2 weeks of the draw or it will be re-drawn. Good luck.

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Some christmas traditions are still special even if your not a young boy anymore but as I am still in short trousers I can be excused for making a pilgrimage to Santa Cruz to see the nativity scenes or belens as they are called here in Tenerife. First stop was Caja Canarias HQ in Plaza del Patriotismo, in the hallway outside there were large displays from a childrens christmas card contest and proud parents were taking photos of their offsprings work.

They basically use the same models and scenery for this display but change the layout each year, this time it was one long display of rolling hills and little farming hamlets. Several of the fiqures move, chopping wood or lifting hay and even the little ponds have live fish in them. The room lighting dims and rises again constantly to give night scenes when fires and lights shine through from inside the houses. Two staff members were on hand to make sure that no eager hands made a grab like a scene from Land Of The Giants, fancy being a bouncer on a nativity show.

The whole of the capital city is in christmas mode, the ice rink is back but moved from Plaza de España to Plaza Europa much to the annoyance of some shop keepers. It’s real ice, not this plastic stuff, and proved very popular last year. I wandered by during the afternoon break and could just manage a peak through the window, despite being a long term hockey fan I’m as graceful on the ice as an elephant on marbles so they wont have missed me out there. It’s here until 8 January and opens from 10.30 to 2 pm, and 4.30 to 11 pm, just 5 euros an hour (4 euros for 12’s and under) including skate hire.

Back to the nativity hunt, this time at the Cabildo building, their theme this year was cave dwelling and the models were suitably impressive. The stable scene is the final one in a fairly compact show, if you look up the stairs you can also catch a glimpse of the impressive stained glass in the Tenerife governments home. All these belens are free to see, the Cabildo always have a voluntary donation box for a local charity, this year it’s Caritas who do fine work helping the homeless and needy.Out at Plaza Candelaria the nativity stable looked wonderful with Joseph, Mary, and the animals, sadly no baby Jesus in the crib as he got stolen last year.

The shopping streets had to be explored as well, all the traders are trying to boost trade at a difficult time so the least I could do was to see what they were up to. Calle Teobaldo Power were going for a green christmas with a tree decorating day and a green carpet, all part of a Binter Airlines sponsorship. My favourite though was Calle Jesus Nazareno, my eye was caught by their candy striped extensions to the bollards, I even caught the Candyman himself painting his way up the street. What a simple but effective idea, the traders from the surrounding cafes and beauty parlour all came out to appreciate his magnificent handiwork.

I knew there was another belen I should have found, it was the Canarian Parliament building in Calle del Castillo, the main shopping street. The outside may now look like a modern tea room but scan upward and the faded lime green roof is a dead giveaway. This was another long parade of festive inspired village scenes but looking just behind them I could see Canarian landmarks like the basalt cliffs of Vallehermoso in La Gomera. Inspired by the Catalan tradition of El Caganer, the poohing peasant, there was a figure caught in the crevice of a rock with his trousers down answering the call of nature, good job it wasn’t aromavision.

It has to be said it was fairly quiet in Santa Cruz, what with the lack of money and the regular promotions to prise wallets open again, but at least I went home with a warm glow in my heart. Christmas eh – don’t you just love it.

Hey, fancy coming back to see my battleship? that’s got to be one of the most impressive chat up lines. Judging by the beaming smiles on the young ladies heading off the gang plank of HMS Montrose shore leave definately has its attractions. The 185 good men and women of the Type 23 Royal Navy frigate certainly deserved their four day break in Santa Cruz, having just left their Devonport base in Plymouth they were stocking up and gearing up for a six month tour in the South Atlantic keeping a watchful eye on the Falkland Islands and other outposts 8,000 plus nautical miles away.

PM Call Me Dave has just issued the go ahead for commercial ships to carry arms and security staff when sailing the pirate infested African seas off Somali. A year ago Montrose patrolled that area and blasted a roque pirate ship out of the water. Just looking at the 32 Seawolf missiles and the imposing 4.5 inch gun turret was enough to dispel any thoughts I had about getting an eye patch and a parrot. Lieutenant Commander Sam Law, the ships public relations officer gave me a guided tour below decks, I was surprised how relatively spacious it was, even the junior messdecks have a chill out area with Tv, DVD and Hi Fi. Up on deck I resisted the urge to reset the main gun to face Gran Canaria.

The bridge was very compact with clear views out onto Santa Cruz dock, I even got to swivel in Commander Jonathan Lett’s chair. A helicopter had definately been mentioned in the research I had done so where had they hidden it? That was easily answered as my guide pulled open the hanger door up on deck to reveal a Lynx helicopter with rotor blades folded and ready to pounce like a coiled spring. Even this bit of hardware packs a hefty punch, Sea Skua anti ship missiles, Stingray torpedos, depth charges, and machine guns could soon teach an opponent the error of their ways.

The current Montrose, the third to proudly bear the name was built on the Clyde and launched in 1992. capable of 28 knots it’s driven by 5.2 mw of power but the bit of information that impressed me was all its vertical surfaces have a 70 degree slope which makes it appear the size of a fishing ship on radar. Suitably impressed I left the ship hoping that the manly absent crew enjoy all the excesses that Tenerife can offer, even with summer creeping in at the South Atlantic it’s a long trip away – fair winds and tides to them all.

Was it Carnaval time again in Tenerife? The streets of Santa Cruz were bristling with people, police and Unipol cars were visible on all corners and there was even an eye in the sky in the police helicopter. Anyone would think royalty had come to call, well it had in the majestic form of Queen Mary 2, tucked in behind fellow cruise liners Voyager Of the Seas and Liberty Of The Seas on the far quayside. Heading into the flow of dissembarking passengers I headed down the ramp at the ferry station to gaze across at the illustrious visitors.

Security was tight on QM2’s maiden voyage call seven years ago but now it was tighter than ever, glued to the phone earlier in the week neither the Tenerife port authority, Cunard in Southampton or their various press and PR agencies were offering a close up and personal tour. The previous day the port carried out a bomb threat simulation around the Costa Deliziosa to test security but the Fred Olsen cruise ship Balmoral was parked up on the near pier so at least I got to cozey on up to that, no mean ship itself with 1,750 crew and passengers.

Queen Mary was undoutedly the star and even at a distance she was attracting a large fan club, I headed down to the old jet foil station for a closer look from their small jetty. Small fishing boats seemed to be looking up in awe at their regal visitor and I’m sure the Fred Olsen ferry’s blast on the horn as it passed had a tone of respect about it. At this point maybe I should fire a few QM2 stats at you. At 1,132 feet (345 metres) long the QM2 covers 3.5 acres, weighs 151,400 tons and has 17 decks making it as high as a 23 storey building. At full stretch she can do 30 knots and on this visit brought 2,200 passengers and 1,100 crew.

Despite only being seven years old and having had a few minor touches done in Greenock before this cruise, the QM2 is heading to Blohm in Germany for a refit after taking in Gran Canaria,Lanzarote, Lisbon, Vigo, and dropping off back in Southampton. Bringing a healthy boost to Santa Cruz the four cruise ships between them carried 10,550 passengers and 3,400 crew – ker ching went those tills. There was no respite for the port, the next day four more liners were due, Marco Polo, Adventure Of The Seas, Thomson Destiny, and Costa Mediterranea. Never a dull moment.

As someone who spent two school terms making a clay ash tray that looked like an offensive weapon I’m pretty impressed by those with the skills to fashion a pipe from a tree branch or make a coffee table using only their finger nail clippings. Thankfully these skills were not used by any of the 200 exhibitors at this years Feria de Artesania (craft fair) at the Recinto Ferial in Santa Cruz.

I expected a bit of a scrum down to get in as it was free but the mid afternoon concourse was empty and the aisles inside were almost clear with just a smattering of people browsing. Never mind, with a cheery good day stout yeoman to the doorman I went inside the modernish designed show hall, I still refer to it as the squashed pastie. The fair had attracted artesans from all seven islands, one of the first I gravitated to had traditional costumes but the holder had gone walkabout. One of the dummies held a basket full of individually wrapped chunky almond biscuits so I took a couple to road test, very nice, all crunchy on the outside with a softer centre.

There was a real mixed bag of stalls with very well made and imaginative toys, soaps, perfumes, glass ware, clothes and furniture. What was missing was customers, some exhibitors looked bored rigid, two old chaps as wrinkly as Canarian potatoes were selling home made musical instruments but I thought it odd that they had some retro Take That blaring out from their radio. The 80’s pop conspiracy grew as I headed up the stairs to the balcony cafe to be greeted by Tears For Fears wafting down the steps. As I ordered my coffee and roll I noticed that the serving ladies uniforms bore the word Faster with the additional word Catering in small letters beneath. A thousand innuendos crossed my mind but I was strong and just gave them one of my winning smiles.

Nosing around again downstairs I found the cakes, jams and biscuits stalls and tried a few samples, very tastey, I could have had a meal at the restaurant below the bar. There were some lovely toys and dolls on the nearby stalls, good early christmas shopping I would think. The reconditioned furniture looked very stylish and the bed looked very bouncy, dare I test it for sqeaky springs? maybe not, apparently I’m supposed to be a grown up. It was all a bit of a shame, hopefully the evenings and weekend will pick up as people finish work, a lot of people were hoping for a much needed business boost. The fair is on until close of play on Sunday 6 November and opens from 11 am to 9 pm.

Politicians? If they said it was Monday I’d immediately check my calendar, I don’t trust any of them. Here in the municipality of Arona there is not so much an anger against the local council, more like a general tut tutting over the morning coffee. Legal cases have been brought against 34 local councillors of all political parties for alleged corruption but it’s all a long drawn out process that will run and run.

Long serving Alcalde (mayor) Jose Alberto Gonzalez Reveron of the Coalicion Canarias has come in for particular stick and is one of the charged. The main complaints refer to business licences granted between 2003 and 2007 and the latest revelation is that all parties have agreed to pay 140,000 euros for the defence of the accused politicians.Anyway against this backdrop a Anti Corruption march was called for Saturday 29 October, meeting up at the court building on the edge of Las Americas and marching to the Los Cristianos cultural centre.

I popped along to have a look, the roads were heavily marshalled by police and civil protection but the protesters only numbered around 200, including a coach bringing protesters from as far away as Icod and Candelaria. The group included families with small children, political groups such as Partido Communista del Pueblo Canarioand the Alternativa Nacionalista Canaria – oh and a few subversive looking dogs. The march was noisy with horns and drums as they moved slowly down one carriageway of Avenida de Chayofita past the sports centre before turning off for the cultural centre and speeches.

People in bars that they passed showed little reaction, preferring to watch football on television. Maybe we do get what we deserve, the local elections were on 22 May and only 48.5 % (myself included) of the Arona electorate turned out to vote, the lowest percentage in Tenerife. Meanwhile the court cases rumble on – slowly.