Ooh you bounder, what an absolute cad, these were just some of the insults thrown at the referee in CD Tenerife’s 1-1 home draw with Real Sociedad last night in Santa Cruz. There were additional references to the referees poor eyesight, debatable parentage and sexual interests, but CDT fans will wake up today, painfully aware that this was a game they really should have won but they only took a point due to some old familiar failing s of their own.

Sociedad came to play a defensive containing game and looked well organised and hungry in the tackle. Tenerife had a strong first half and made plenty of chances, Kome set up Alfaro early on, but his control let him down in front of goal. Coach Oltra dropped Garcia in the CDT goal and his replacement, Aragoneses showed his worth on the half hour, claiming the ball as Moha raced towards him after winning tha ball off Martinez. At the other end Juanlu had sight of the visitors goal but was squeezed out by a defender and the goalie.

The second half carried on in the same vein, with Tenerife trying to break down their stubborn opponents. Referee Franco ignored a penalty appeal when Nino went down after 55 minutes, but the Tenerife striker followed up with a good shot a couple of minutes later, only to be denied by keeper Bravo. Frustration was setting in for CDT, Kome squandered a good opportunity, firing just wide of the post, and Nino couldn’t quite finish his effort soon after.

The break through came after 86 minutes when Bertran fired Tenerife into the lead after good work from Juanlu. There was plenty more drama to squeeze in, first Gonzalez clearly handled the ball in the area but the referee seemed the only one among the 14,556 crowd not to spot it, and just to rub it in, he booked Bertran for pointing out his error. Still it looked like a home win but in the 3rd minute of injury time, Tenerife conceeded a corner. Set pieces always expose the worst in the CDT defence and Gerardo floated his corner in for Labaka to rise unchallenged and head in the equaliser.

Not the ideal preperation for next Saturdays big derby game at Las Palmas, especially as the Pios won 2-1 away at Eibar. Despite the chopping and changing of the match day to please the television companies, the usual 2,000 or so Tenerife fans will be putting the bar staff through their paces on the ferries across to Gran Canaria next week. I feel an adventure coming on.

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Looking up from Las Vistas beach in Los Cristianos, many people wonder just what that big hill is that looks down on them. The answer is Montaña Chayofita, a volcanic mound complete with crater, that rises to 116 metres above sea level. It’s just one of many mountains and hills in Tenerife, beyond it you will see the much larger Roque del Conde with its distinct table top.

Two years ago Arona council did a series of free guided walks up the local mountains and I greatly enjoyed trying them all out, now seems a good time to re-visit some of them, starting with this small but interesting local peak. Arona council have recently done some work on the mountain to improve the paths to the top, and to shore up a few areas where the crater was subsiding.

The best way to approach Chayofita is down the slip road alongside the Avenida de Chayofita (the dual carriageway) as it heads from Los Cristianos to Playa de las Americas.  There’s a partly built road that leads up the coast side of the mountain to the abandoned shell of a restaurant that was never completed. It’s amazing how the project ever got so far on this protected site, it now remains fenced and chained and an eyesore that needs demolishing. Anyway there are 2 main tracks up the mountain, one just as you leave the road, by the name board and the other further along the abandoned road, between 2 large whitewashed stones.

I picked a bright early morning for my walk and there were quite a few others taking to the high ground. The textures and colours of the rocks were really inspiring and made me wish I had a talent for painting. As I follwed the path, marked by large rocks either side of the trail, it started to curl and climb into the centre of the old crater. Working up the side of the mountain, Arona and Adeje spread out behind me in the distance, with future walking challenges already forming in my mind. At the top of the peak, I could see the full extent of the sprawl of Los Cristianos punctuated with swimming pools at various hotels and the open green space of Golf Las Americas.

Las Vistas beach was slowly filling up but most of the sunbeds were empty, set out in their regimented patterns as the sea lapped at the shore and the bays further around the coast. La Gomera was slightly hazy in the distance but moving along the ridge and higher up, the port came into full view with the Fred Olsen ferry ready to head out to the other islands. At the highest point, there are clear views to all sides and out to Guaza mountain and beyond to Palm Mar and the Rasca lighthouse.

Looking down at the crater, the contrast of the layers of rock is a start reminder o0f the volcanic nature of Tenerife and the clumps of cactus and small ferns show that even in such challenging landscapes, there is plenty of life. Leaning over the edge, I could see the courtyard of the part finished restaurant below, quite a lot of ornate stone work had already been completed but apart from the odd squatter passing through, it was all wasted.

Taking the path back to ground level, there seemed no end to the stream of explorers, some armed with state of the art walking poles. The whole trip took just over an hour and the climb is not too challenging with sturdy trainers, it’s a great way to get a different view of how the modern resort of Los Cristianos has grown in the shade of the volcanic hills and mountains of south Tenerife.

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Wasn’t it thrilling on Saturday at the Emirates Stadium in London as Arsenal beat Manchester United 2-1, people just couldn’t take their eyes of it, no not the game, the adverts for Canary Islands tourism. It was a corker of a game, but if you could bear to take your eyes off the action, you may have noticed the logo (below) on the pitchside hoardings. This was just part of a three pronged promotion at European football stadiums, to encourage more holiday makers to come to the 7 Canary Islands.

It’s a very innovative and, in my humble football obsessed opinion, good idea, that will also take in the Madrid derby at the Bernabeu Stadium on March 8th 2009 when Real Madrid play Athletico Madrid and will close with a game, yet to be decided, at the Allianz Stadium home of Bayern Munich, befire the end of this season.

The promotion is called “Los Tres Estadios de la Felicidad” (the 3 stadiums of happiness) and each game will be at the centre of a 14 day promotion at the ground. The total cost of the promotion is 250,000 euros, that sounds a lot but just look at the Arsenal game, the crowd was 60,000 and after the game has been relayed to 202 countries, it will reach a potential 500 million people, that’s the power of football.

There was also a full page advert for the Canaries in the Arsenal match programme and a big publicity bash after the game. There were even a few celebs on hand, Bono was there (that’s the rock star, not the multi use Canarian bus ticket) presumably he is a Man United fan, they have a big Irish following.

Back in the real world of football, where money is hard to come by and wins even harder, CD Tenerife slipped back to their usual away form with a 2-1 loss at Levante. It’s gonna be an early start for us CDT fans in 2 weeks for the derby game in Gran Canaria, Canal Plus have decided to show the Las Palmas v CD Tenerife game live on Sunday (November 23) morning at 11am. The Armada Sur will be bright tailed and bushy eyed in their blue and white jim jams, and ready to join the other 1,500 fans at the Santa Cruz ferry port for the traditional pre journey drinkies, singing practice and abuse of Pio effigies ( the victim in the photo met a gruesome end ). The form book always goes out of the window for these games and we must be owed a win after last years sickening equaliser in generous amounts of injury time. The clock is ticking, in the meantime lets hope for a home win next Sunday when Real Sociedad visit Santa Cruz.

Floating serenely down the kilometre long lazy river, with my bum wedged in an inflatable yellow doughnut and my toes wiggling in the cool water, what a way to spend a Saturday afternoon in the Tenerife sunshine. Today I had my first hands on experience of Siam Park, the new Water Kingdom in Costa Adeje.

My last trip was covering the official opening evening on September 15, a much more formal affair but this time I gratefully acepted a media day invite, and brought along friends Vicki and Martin, over from the UK, to enjoy the rides. Although a keen swimmer, i’m not a huge fan of thrill rides and Vicki describes herself as a wimp, but we all took the plunge on The Giant, as the colourful Thai faced God head seemed to promise a gentle first ride. Armed with an inflatable ring each we climbed the stone steps bare foot, ridges and pock marks ensure a good grip for even wet feet, to the launch area. A lifeguard referred to a video screen of the splash pool at the bottom of the ride to ensure the tubes were clear and then beckoned us to plop ourselves on our rings, grip the handles and launch onto the slide and through the tube opening. The water wasn’t cold but as we slopped from side to side, rushing down the chute, the twists and turns definately got the adrenaline pumping. Halfway down a bigger chamber redirected us onto the final descent and plopped us out to be greeted by a burst of sunlight and a shower of spray – exhilerating.

That was our fuses well and truly lit, we were back up for more and then onto the Naga Racer for a face down, head first ride on a giant flip flop down an undulating slide. A much needed food break, and we were on to the more sedate Lazy River, grabbing our doughnuts and drifting away with the meandering current. After a circuit of the park we were washed onto a moving ramp to raise us up 8 metres to a higher level and more drifting. I was just thinking how this could be adapted to challenge the Thames punts back in Oxford, when a lovely young lady lifeguard advised me to cross my legs and hold on tight (feel free to insert your own smutty thought at this point). My bright yellow support dropped into a fast and twisting series of downwards rapids, as I skidded around the upper curves, bobsleigh style, until becalmed in an underground section. Flowing slowly, I got my breath back in time to admire the fish darting back and forth in the large glass sided tanks around and above me. Looking up, I could see the sealed tube from the Tower of Power ride  passing through the fish pool, and suddenly a thrill seeker wooshed through the tube like a human missile leaving bubbles and a tail of displaced air in his wake. Blimey, that was impressive, I thought as I popped back out into the daylight and back to the landing point to disembark.

Just time for a plunge down the Mekong Rapids, all 3 of us on one raft, we assured Vicki it was quite tame, but were soon proved to be over confident and we were shocked at her screams of abuse as we hurtled down roller coaster like, into the pool below. A couple of bursts down the Snake Jungle tubes took us to closing time so we made our way back to the locker room to collect our gear, thorughly thrilled and soaked. We didn’t quite drum up courage to tackle the 28 metre drop Tower of Power, but it was fun watching others scream their way down.

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Leaving your mark on the ballot paper is one thing but U.S.A President elect Barack Obama seems to be taking things a little far. We know now that he “pissed all over” his rival John McCain but is there any need to go to these lengths?

Don’t worry, I haven’t caught potty mouth syndrome from Brand and Ross, this is in fact a sort of honour for Barack. Each christmas the Catalans indulge in one of the more unusual traditions of “El Caganer” (the shitter) , a figure that appears in the nativity scene, sadly not here in Tenerife, Â answering the call of nature. Originally it was just a shepherd but over the years more and more celebrities have been lampooed in this way, including Spanish royalty. It signifies renewal of the soil and the continuing cycle of nature, so no smirking at the back.

Quick off the mark, a Girona based company has added Barack to this years new stars. The rising star of World politics is yours for just 14 euros plus postage from www.caganer.com You may want to browse at the range of football stars and even vote for their caganer of the year, go on download one today !

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It’s a topsy turvey life supporting CD Tenerife, but sometimes, when they are really good, it all becomes worthwhile. Yesterday was one of those days, at home to resurgent Primera giants Rayo Vallecano, CDT found themselves a player short after just 35 minutes when Manolo Martinez was sent off for a second yellow card. Were we bothered? strangely the answer is no.

Rayo looked quite a bit short of their reputation as promotion candidates and Tenerife responded well to the red card blow. Luna looked rock like at the heart of the defence and with Ricardo showing his best form in midfield, there was a confidence among the 12.025 crowd. Diame went close for Rayo after 41 minutes, their only decent chance, and Alfaro hit the post for Tenerife just before half time.

Into the second half, and normally the home faithfull would be worried about holding a 1-0 lead, let alone a 0-0 scoreline, but there seemed a determination about Tenerife that was to prove prophetic. Juanlu was making a good partnership with Nino (pic) and after 63 minutes, Alfaro fed the ball to Nino to set up Juanlu to blast the ball into the visitors net. There was better to come, Nino, now enjoying God like status in Santa Cruz, hit the bar late on but went one better after 88 minutes, scoring his 7th goal of the season after good work from Ricardo. Â

Cue the celebrations, and the opening of many Dorada bottles as the Armada Sur enjoyed a very happy trip back down south. My head wasn’t too impressed this morning, but Tenerife are back in 6th spot and all thoughts are starting to turn to the Canarian Derby against the Pios in Gran Canaria in 3 weeks.

Boxing comes in many forms, and Tenerife is becoming quite a ring of fire for the noble arts. Next Saturday November 8th , Siam Park becomes the latest venue to stage a top class card, with traditional, kick and even Thai boxing, at the amphitheatre, above the Costa Adeje water park.

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Top of the bill is a World title Kick Boxing clash between Frenchman Hassan Baou and Michel “Tiger” Silveira, a Canarian based Brazilian. Just to underline the wide ranging nature of the evenings fare, the other headline clash features women boxers, Leticia Candal, a Brazilian based in Tenerife, and the UK champion Angel McKenzie. If you think boxers are more about brawn that brain, prepare to have your pre conceptions shattered.

Angel McKenzie may have the “Eye Of The Tiger” but she has the soul of an artist. The 30 year old was born in Moscow to an affluent, intellectual family and chased her dream to be a rock star, writing and performing in Atas, a band that became known across Russia. Years of studying theatre, performance and anatomy fuelled other creative desires and after moving to the UK in 1997 she started to expand her interests with painting, sculpting and of course music, at her Brixton studio. Sport also inspired her and she got into BMX riding. A spectacular bike accident tore ligaments in both legs and left her unsure if she would walk again. Two years of operations led to weight training and then boxing, a new desire was born, but Angel still makes time to allow her other talents to grow.

Quite a lady, and it should be quite a contest. There is loads more action to enjoy, 3 further boxing matches, 2 kick boxing clashes and even a Thai boxing match up. Thai boxing is a more complete form of fighting, using hands, shins, elbows and knees. The evenings action starts at 9pm and tickets are just 17 euros, phone 922795572 for more details.

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Squeezing a jaunty tune out of his accordian, the beggar in Calle del Castillo was fighting a losing battle as heavy rain scattered Santa Cruz visitors today. Leaving the sunny south behind, I had gone up north with John Beckley, owner of Sorted Sites, who use my scribblings on many web and blog sites. After a couple of promising meetings, I declined the offer of a lift back, to defy the weather and go exploring, there is always something new to see in Santa Cruz.

A tram ride took me to La Paz and a chance to pay my respects to the Cine Victor, the grand old cinema that is nearing the end of its days. Opened on April 22 1954, architect Jose Enrigue Marrero Regalado, left his creative signature on the ornate and imposing building, especially the inside. Downstairs 550 seats have welcomed many a keen film goer, and another 225 upstairs have ensured that a night at the pictures was an enjoyable experience in the heart of the capital.

Sadly time has overtaken the building and a 5 year commitment by the Tenerife government to show special film seasons and maintain the general running of the cinema, ends on December 31. Today at 8.30 pm they were showing Blithe Spirit, from 1945, the last in a season of films by British director David Lean, to mark the 100th anniversary of his birth.

Tomorrow, Friday October 31, the TEA, Tenerife Espacio de Artes is officially opened and they will include film shows in their vast programme of arts. The lights are dimming for the Cine Victor as their are no takers to continue tearing the entrance tickets at a cost of 6,000 euros rent per month, it may end up converted into accomodation or commercial units.

Moving down towards Plaza de España, I darted from shelter to shelter until reaching the entrance to the Castillo de San Cristobal, or at least the remains of it. Built in 1575 with 4 mighty corner bastions, the castle was a key defence in warding off would be invaders like Lord Nelson in July 1797. Originally it was in the sea on a reef called Blas Diaz but as land was reclaimed it became a dry fortress until its demolition in 1928. When the renovation of the Plaza de España began a few years ago, part of the original battlements and a canon were unearthed and an underground display gallery has been set up explaining the history of the area. Entry is free via a stairway on the marina side of the Plaza de España, and the new opening times are 10am to 6pm on weekdays, closed Tuesdays, and 11am to 7pm on Saturdays and Sundays.

Braving the rain again, i had decided to treat myself to a new CD Tenerife shirt from the official club shop in Callejon de Combate, just up from the Plaza de España, turn right at the BBVA bank in Calle de Castillo and then left between the other 2 banks. Was it to be the 2nd strip blue shirt or the 3rd strip claret shirt? Sod it, I got them both. Feeling a little guilty at this extravagence, I needed a sign that I had done the right thing. On the walk back to the bus station, I passed a huge billboard featuring Liverpool striker Fernando Torres in his modelling role for El Corte Ingles department store. The look on his face confirmed that he approved of my wild purchase, good enough for me. Of course there will be economies as a result of this spending, so all anyone will get from me this christmas is a walnut and a satsuma – still it’s the thought that counts. Â

Just like his cousin Theo, Jacob Walcott is a man in form and the Reading forward earned England Under 17’s a 1-1 draw against Spain in La Orotava last night, to send them through to the next stage of the European championships.

The tournament started last Wednesday with Spain thumping Estonia 6-0, while in the later game England could only manage a 0-0 draw with Armenia. That left the group finely poised, Spain looked the hot team, beating Armenia 2-0 on Friday but the England Lions found their roar to batter Estonia 7-0. Englands goals were spread around, Evertons Jose Baxter hit 2, the rest came from Tom Parkes (Leicester City), Jonjo Shelvey (Charlton Athletic), Luke Freeman (Arsenal), Liam Head (Plymouth Argyle), and Ryan Tunnicliffe (Manchester United).

The top 2 countries would go through to the Elite qualifying round in Nyon, Switzerland in December so England and Spain knew they were both more or less secure but there was a lot of pride to play for and both teams had a clean sheet to protect. Jacob Walcott scored after 10 minutes beating Villareals Gran Canarian goalie Kilian Falcon. Englands task got harder after captain Eddie Oshodi (Watford) and Emmanuel Frimpong (Arsenal) both got sent off for second yellow cards. England held out until 80 minutes when an unfortunate own goal by Ezekiel Fryers (Manchester United) tied the game.

In the end Spain and England were both happy to progress in the competition and the north of Tenerife got to witness some international football. Lots of names to look out for on the England side as they start to push their way into their clubs first teams and maybe look for a place in the squad for the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.Â

It may not have a panel of smug showbiz celebrities, or a horrendously expensive premium rate phone vote, but up towards the peak of Mount Teide, 8 robots are auditioning for an out of this world gig – on the moon. The European Space Agency has challenged universities from 8 countries to build and send their best lunar exploration vehicle to prove itself on the rocky and cratered moon type landscape of Teide National Park.

Britain is represented by Surrey University, although somehow the phrase “Guildford, we have a problem” doesn’t have the same ring to it. All the contestants will get their chance to shine, maybe it’s best described as a cross between Robot Wars and Stars In Their Eyes, before the lucky winner gets a chance at a future space shot.

But what will they find once they go into space? With a great sense of timing, the Spanish Ministry of Defence has just de-classified a whole batch of flying saucer reports from past years. Known as OVNI’s (Objeto Volante No Identificado) these sightings are outlined in a 84 page report, including several over the Canary Islands.

One of the higher profile encounters was in November 1974 when several sightings took place in Gran Canaria, including one by an off duty Assistant Air Colonel, who claims it flew over his car at amazing speed. At the same time, a plane coming into Las Palmas also reported an object buzzing it, popping in and out of the clouds. Pio’s (Gran Canarians) do have naturally bad judgement, their football team is a prime example, but many other OVNI incidents have been spotted over the other islands, including Tenerife, so maybe we should get these robots up into space and let them sort it all out.

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