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Heading for the Costa Adeje triathlon at La Caleta, I thought I would try out the new 488 Titsa bus route between Reina Sofia south airport and La Caleta. For those who have not heard the sorry saga that unfolded since it’s launch last Saturday, I will get you seething with indignation as I recap on the scandalous events.

The Titsa bus company is owned and run by the Tenerife Cabildo (government) and as part of their attempt to show, our dwindling tourists, how user friendly the island is, they came up with this cracking idea of a new bus route with buses every hour or better and 48 stops between the airport and La Caleta, The route was to serve the main tourist hotels of Los Cristianos, Playa de las Americas, Fañabe, Torviscas, Costa Adeje and La Caleta all for a flat rate of 5 euros.

The scene was set with new stops, glossy colour leaflets and even staff to point visitors in the right direction at the airport. Take a bow Tenerife Cabildo, a wonderful and helpful idea, but here come the bad guys, the Tenerife taxi drivers. Seeing their income under attack, they were up in arms and threatened to strike, of course they weren’t gonna be happy, but that’s business, they could always lower their rather high prices. The taxi drivers seem to be able to apply incredible political pressure, and the Cabildo caved in like an England batting line up and agreed to reduce the 48 stops to just 7.

Anyway I tried the bus today, getting on in Los Cristianos, thinking that less stops would make it an express service and cheaper -WRONG. The 5 euro flat fare applies no matter where you get on or off and although I paid with a Bono ticket, there was no saving on the price, as there is on all other buses and even the Santa Cruz tram. There were only 2 of us passengers on the bus, me and an empty packet of crisps, and I suspect it didn’t pay. We still went all round the hotels, but didn’t stop, and the trip took over half an hour, so you can make that an hour from the airport.

The AeroBus is different from the other Titsa buses, it has less seats, 34, I had plenty of time to count, instead it has loads of open baggage space inside and also seems to have very little suspension, in fact it reminded me of those shuttle buses that run from the airport terminal to the plane.

I have seen the AeroBus go through Los Cristianos in the week and it never has more than 2 passengers on it, maybe they are lost souls, doomed to travel forever on this ghost bus. Since the bus was hamstringed in mid week, all the leaflets have been withdrawn and the new stops changed, so passengers have no idea of the timetable anyway, and the displayed destination, La Caleta is not an overly familiar name to anyone coming through at the airport. The leaflet also showed changes to other routes including airport stops for the night service of the 111 Santa Cruz to Las Americas bus and several airport night stops on the AeroBus timetable, I assume these have now been scrapped.

So as the AeroBus drives off into the sunset, empty and unloved, we raise our glasses to those wonderfully caring taxi drivers and ask them, just when did we elect them to run the Tenerife  government.

I had several options for this weeks trip out but decided that the Pyramids of Guimar was well overdue for a visit so got the 111 Santa Cruz bus up to the stop just past the tunnel on the motorway. The walk down and under the road was a bit hairy with no path to speak of but after checking with a local as to how far the pyramids were, I waited for a 120 bus to Guimar town, and was glad I did, it would have been a long uphill walk.

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I was surprised to find how big Guimar is, it has it’s own very smart bus station with a cafe/bar complete with it’s own little terrace. The town itself is wonderful, bright, clean and very obviously cared for, the main plaza spreads out around a fountain and park rather than a church, and the whole place has been given modern touches, without ruining the character. The contrast between old and new struck me on the bus. An old wizzened Canarian lady sat opposite wrapped in layers of traditional clothes, looking like she had stepped out from a history book. There was a sudden loud burst of “Hips Dont Lie” by Shakira, and she pulled out a state of the art mobile and flipped it into action – next revelation – did the Guanches have Blackberries?

After a good prowl round I headed up to the Pyramids and paid my residents rate of 7.15 euros to get in, full price is 10 euros. The park was set up by Thor Heyerdahl, the Norweigain explorer and scientist, who made epic sailing voyages on the balsa raft Kon Tiki and later on reed boats like Ra, all to prove that ancient civilisations were able to travel between continents, a possible explanation for the similarity of pyamids in South America, Africa and here in Tenerife. Ra 2, is the only full size boat on display, the others are in a Oslo museum.

The pyramids here are much smaller and have a large plaza between them, and are certainly interesting, there’s a museum and an auditorium where a short film in a choice of languages fills in the history. But I was not that impressed, it all seems too commercial with large concrete walkways, and three large white plastic tents where models of Thor’s boats are displayed, are very intrusive on the skyline. There is a childrens playground just near the foot of one pyramid, and a souvenir shop and cafe. What really bugged me was the speakers around the main walks, that churn out gentle music mixed with bird song and trickling water. It’s like a heavy handed nudge to remind you that you are in the middle of nature, and with the backdrop of the Guimar valley, a Canarian garden full of colourful plants and flowers and birds soaring overhead, visitors will have worked that one out for themselves. There are some smaller pyramids unmolested in a field on the track between Playa San Marcos and Icod de Los Vinos, and the relative silence of nature adds to their eerie mystery.

Back down into town after 2 hours in the park, and thats about as long as you need, I had a nice fish meal at La Piramides bar to the right of the bus station. There was an interesting notice pinned behind the bar, someone was selling 2 caves on the coast at Punta Prieta, complete with legal papers for just 3,000 euros, I was tempted. Guimar looks a great place to live, just 20 minutes from Santa Cruz, 40 minutes from the southern resorts and plenty of shops, bars and restaurants.

Guimar spreads right down to the coast, so I got a bus down to El Puertito de Guimar. On the 10 minute trip I noticed a rural hotel just outside town, Hotel Salamanca, and a walk called Camino de Los Llanos, both worth looking at if you are into exploring. El Puertito is typical of many of the newer developments up that eastern coast, with lots of 4 or 5 storey blocks and all leading down to a central plaza at the seafront. El Puertitio has a nice mix of small rough sand and shingle coves and a longer break water, all popular points to swim off. It does get a bit windy on this coast and the waves can get a bit lively but the views of the Guimar valley from the seafront cafe/bars are always a joy. There is a third side to Guimar, the large industrial easte just along from El Puertito, this is where the big printers produces many of the newspapers for sale in Tenerife from Marca to The Mirror. I finished with a quick bus trip into Santa Cruz and a progress check on the Plaza de Espa̱a, the government are still upbeat about an April 30 opening, but there is a lot still to do. Guimar town was one of the nicer surprises of the day and definately one to return to Рif only to buy those caves.

What a story I couldn’t stop chuckling when I read this in todays Canarian papers, although their headline was a but more mundane.

Basically, when you are sunbathing on the beach, blokes come round with big trays of “fresh” doughnuts trying to flog them. All beach sales are illegal and the Arona Policia Local are cracking down on scams at the moment. Yesterday they raided the doughnut factory, a small premises in Veronicas, Las Americas, thought to have Finnish owners. One Moroccan worker was arrested amid hygiene conditions described as deplorable. The article failed to tell us what the gentleman was using to make the holes in the doughnuts, so I will leave that to your imagination. Maybe people will think twice now about buying these tasty beach offerings.

The last bullfight took place in Santa Cruz on December 18th 1983, but since then the only raging going on has been in the ongoing row between developers of the site and those who want to preserve the historic building.

Plaza de Torros is just to the east of the La Paz tram stop, and where two other famous warriers lock horns, though only in terms of street names. The main road is Rambla del General Franco, and Calle Horacio Nelson joins it from around the back of the bullring where the Disco Triboo is still open for business. That’s also the status for the El Buradero bar/restaurant at the front, there was a flurry of press activity recently suggesting that the business’s had been given a mid March deadline to get out, for demolition work to finally begin. Kike, husband of the El Buradero owner, laughed when I reminded him of this, his wife Teresa had only bought the place last May and it is flourishing.

Alicur property company owns 80 % of the bullring and it was claimed they had plans to replace it with four new blocks, one commercial and the others housing, but the latest suggestion is that they are looking for ideas from a panel of experts in commerce and development.

Outside, the small leafy terrace of El Burladero, hardly prepares you for the cosy and intimate restaurant inside that wraps around the inner curve of the building, and is adorned with posters from old fights that took place just a few yards away.

My interest must have impressed Kike (or he thought I looked like a losing matador, gored, chewed and spat out) he got the keys and took me through to the bullring itself. I was expecting a cascade of cockroaches to fall through the door and to have to wade knee deep in rubbish, but it was in surprisingly good nick, even the chandeliers were hanging in the entrance way, and the tunnels where the bulls charged out were clear.

It must have been an imposing sight full up but bullfights stopped in 1983 when they were banned in all the Canary Islands, and since then the auditorium has staged many events like Canarian wrestling, boxing and Carnaval pageants, even soul legend James Brown got down there, feeling good, well he knew that he would, but it has been allowed to fall into disrepair as the arguments roll on.

Kike remembers the heady Saturday nights of regular bullfights with 8,000 packed crowds and sighed as he surveyed the forlorn scene now. The stage is still visible and the raised central pavilion stands proud, although you wouldn’t want to climb it. Whatever you think of bullfighting, it was a big part of Santa Cruz culture and it would be nice to see this iconic building restored and put to good use.

There are just memories left behind, no ghosts, but when you slice into one of El Buraderos juicy steaks, you could be forgiven for hearing the stamping of hoofs and the snort of fiery nostrils.

Waking up with itchy feet, I knew it was either time for my annual bath or time to go wandering again, and with my rubber duck nowhere to be found, I hit the road up to the north and Los Realejos Alto (high) and Bajo (low).

Catching the early bus to Puerto de la Cruz gave me the chance to see how long it would take to cross from Guimar, on the east coast to La Orotava, just outside Puerto. The reason being the announcement of plans to build a tunnel between the two at a cost of 346 million euro to slash the 16.5 km journey to 5 mins, bringing north and south closer together. The bus took 40 mins out of the total 1 hour 20 mins to Puerto, can’t help wondering if they really need to bore through the mountain just to save that small difference. Still it’s only at the discussion stage and would take around 9 years to build, so don’t hold your breath.

Back in the real world, a quick connecting bus and I got off in Los Realejos Alto, up in the clouds and with the bus struggling to squeeze up the narrow streets. Walking up the main street, the Museum and Cultural Centre impressed with it’s classic Canarian hanging balconies, made from tia, the wood at the centre of the pine tree. At the top, the church of Santiago del Apostle greeted me, set in it’s shady plaza as the sun emerged.

A little further up, the Ayuntamiento building looks side out to the Barranco San Agustin, a deep ravine with it’s own iconic Drago tree perched on the lip. All seemed still and quiet on this weekday morning, as I sipped my coffee and studied my map for the march down into Los Realejos Bajo.

Heading down the steep hill, the traffic became busier and it was clear that this part of town was much more modern, it looked like it had been compressed down into a dip and the buildings were pressed a little too close together. The Sanctuary of the Virgin del Carmen was a good stop off point, a bigger church rebuilt in 1952 after a fire. I wasn’t as impressed by Bajo which seemed to lack character, a nice sunken leafy garden plaza looked overgrown and neglected as the traffic brushed by, I think I prefer to have my head in the clouds.

A quick change via Puerto de la Cruz, and I was off to Santa Cruz to visit some familiar places and to explore a bit more. Los Realejos is a bit of a sprawl and maybe you need to be fascinated by churches to really appreciate it, but it was another destination I was pleased to have added to my list.

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Well it was nearly a perfect day, CD Tenerife took a late lead at Las Palmas only to see the Pio’s grab an equaliser seven minutes into injury time, when only 5 minutes had been signalled. So a 1-1 draw but to hear the Pio fans sounding off, you would have thought they had won the World cup. After our goal from Sicilia we were pelted with bottles, stones etc but most of it didn’t reach us. The near 2,000 Tenerife fans were of course well behaved – well sort of.

The day started with an early getaway from The Royal Oak, just a mini bus for the Armada Sur, but a few bottles later, we caught up with the main group at Santa Cruz ferry port. On a typically hot sunny day, we all partied and consumed lots of Dorada as our angelic voices rang out across the capital. There were the usual kick abouts with yellow Pio birds as the riot police looked on in menacing poses. The ferry was packed and bouncing once we got drinking and singing, and the hour crossing flew by. The coach convoy to the ground was relatively safe, just gestures from the locals as we passed-no bricks this year.

Herded into the ground, the huge banners were unfurled and free blue and white tshirts were dished out to make up the club flag, hope it worked on the television coverage. the game was the usual derby, drifting towards a goal less draw till Sicilia put us ahead, but we knew it was just too good to be true and had to settle for the draw.

The police held us back for about an hour as the stadium was cleared, some Pio fans tried to get at us but settled for good old fashioned verbal abuse. it was a slow convoy back to the ferry port with locals along the roadside waving us off, although some were only using 1 or 2 fingers. Cant believe so many have nothing better to do on a Saturday night than wait for the away coaches to pass by so they can shout at us.

The ferry trip was very liquid and fun,not too many big waves, but we realised that 2 of the Armada Sur had missed the boat and were on the next ferry so we were forced to have a beer in a very seedy Santa Cruz bar while we waited for them to dock. It was a long but very enjoyable day, maybe next year we will finally nail the pio’s.

Take a rabbits foot, add some lucky heather and a horseshoe, and it still wont account for the amazingly lucky escape that CD Tenerife had to spare their blushes. Losing 1-0 at home to bottom side Poli Ejido, it took 2 goals from free scoring forward, Nino, late in the game to keep the promotion dream alive with a 2-1 win, and restore Tenerife to 7th spot.

Coach Oltra had promised big changes after last weeks awful 4-0 away hammering at Eibar, but surprisingly the only big change was in goal where the outstanding Juan Pablo was replaced by Raul Navas. Tenerife had a poor first half and made Poli Ejido look good, and of course they grew in confidence as the game went on. Nino went close after 20 minutes but Ejido had plenty of chances too and looked the hungrier side.

Going into the second half all level, Tenerife continued to pump high balls up front with little chance of any result. The unthinkable happened after 60 minutes when Chico netted a rebound for the visitors and Oltra responded by bringing on Arruabarrena to give Nino some help up front.

The big forward made his prescence felt and had 2 good chances before setting up Nino after 80 minutes, Nino nipped in and made sure the ball went in the goal, and the great escape was on. Just 2 minutes later and the same combination worked again with Nino again poaching a goal to give Tenerife a lead they hardly deserved. Thankfully that killed off Poli Ejido and the game ended with a huge collective sigh of relief for Tenerife.

Next Saturday is the big derby game away to Las Palmas, and with the Pios winning 3-0 away this week, Tenerife will have to raise their game. A travelling army of 1,800 fans will make the short trip over, we just hope that the players “turn Up” even a repeat of last years 0-0 snore draw would be acceptable. And the good news is, the sea is looking very choppy at the moment , that ferry journey should be quite lively. Vamos Tenerife.

You know what it’s like, your 96 years old, weigh 50 tons, you’ve burst your boiler and no one wants you anymore. What you really need is some friends. Thankfully the steam ship La Palma found them in Tenerife in 2003, when a restoration trust was formed to restore the Middlesborough built vessel and repay it for years of service between the 7 Canary Islands.

I met some of the trust members last year and was looking forward to the re-launch from it’s Santa Cruz dry dock this year, but it has just been revealed that they need another 3 million euros to give it a 2010 return to the sea.

Launched from the W.Harkess and Son shipyard in 1912, just 4 days before the Titanic sunk, La Palma headed for the Canaries to begin 60 years shuttling between the Canary Islands and Spanish West Africa, delivering mail, provisions and news. Although sturdy and functional, the ship had bags of style inside, including Chippendale style furniture, brass instruments, a sweeping staircase and first class cabins.

It all came to an end in March 1976 when one of the boilers that fired the triple expansion steam engine, blew up, forcing the ship to limp into Las Palmas, Gran Canaria. Years of neglect, rust and looting followed until the trust was formed in 2003, with the aim of restoring La Palma as a floating museum, restaurant and tourist attraction. Governments of all 7 islands chipped in and private benefactors joined the trust. The near 5 million euros raised has paid for a lot of major structural work including parts of the riveted steel hull, but there is still a lot to go.

The trust are working hard to collect more funds and finish the project. The cruel and unpredictable nature of the sea tends to harden seafaring people but when La Palma finally enters the water, with a new life to look forward to, thousands of hearts of oak will swell with pride.

It was all happening down at the beach on Saturday. The political big guns were there on Los Cristianos old beach, and there wasn’t a towel or a pair of trunks between them. Mayor Reveron of Arona, the director of Tenerife coasts and assorted councillors were discussing the April closure of the beach for a clean up, it does tend to trap rubbish washed down by the rains, plus oil and debris from all the small boats moored up. At the same time, to the east, just past the sailing school, a small section of beach was sealed off for a while as Barranco de Aquilino poured out white foam, caused by someone emptying a private swimming pool.

Keep heading east, and there is a much bigger topic of discussion. Los Tarajales beach (above)Â rough and pebbly, stretching from the barranco to the Costa Mar Hotel, has been given hope of a 12 million euro facelift. Plans were discussed, in the prescence of the mayor, Â a week ago at the Arona Gran Hotel, in front of local hotel owners. The scheme would take 2 years to complete, and provide new sand, 2 pools on small headlands and the building of breakwaters off the coast to calm the sea for the benefit of bathers.

A make over has been promised before over the last 6 years but never came to anything, but this time there seems a new determination. The coastal authority is on a crackdown to remove buildings that break the 1988 law of the coast by being less than 106 metres from the shoreline, and there are a few old homes, still lived in, on the beach, as well as commercial shops and apartments nearer to the barranco. Just behind the beach there is also a sealed off block of 26 business units, all with apartments above, that has never been opened.

New entrants to this contest are the Los Cristianos neighbours group led by Leopoldo Diaz Melo. They are objecting to Los Tarajales being modernised as it would over commercialise the natural beach which is so close to Montaña Guaza, the councils plans estimates the improved beach could hold 5,000 sunbathers. The neighbours also say the breakwaters will stop the natural tidal turnover of the sea and could lead to water stagnating.

So, the battle lines are drawn, this has all the ingredients for a long drawn out wrangle, and it seems impossible to please all sides. Sometimes you almost feel sorry for these councillors and politicians – I did say almost!.

Contrary to popular belief, Easter isn’t just about The Great Escape, never ending Bond movies and chocolate eggs. Here in Tenerife there are strong visual reminders with performances of The Passion, the last hours of Christ. One of the biggest and most praised took place this morning in the main street of Adeje town, a few miles inland from Playa de las Americas.

It all started at noon as a cast of 100’s gathered at the top of the street, dressed as Roman centurions, the Roman emperor, the disciples and the followers of Jesus. You couldn’t ask for a better setting, the lampposts and balconies draped with red sashes, the palm trees lining the pavement as it twists it’s way down to the main square and crowds packed on both sides of the road.

First off were the centurions, on foot and horseback, heralding the emperor and his wife carried in luxurious splendour. The followers, in sandals, kept their composure despite a few hazards left behind by the horses. There was a series of tableaus set up down the street that staged key scenes, starting with The Last Supper. The key players were all wired with microphones and their interaction and strident music was relayed over P.A systems all down the road to add to the spectacle.

As the crowds pressed for better vantage points, the greatest story ever told, unfolded, the court scene raised the tension as Jesus was sentenced to crucifiction. The guards seized and stripped him nefore whipping him. As disciples and supporters wailed and protested, Jesus was forced to take up his cross and march it down the road to the plaza. Once there, he was held down as the nails were hammered in and the cross was raised high, watched in sombre silence by the crowd as television cameras relayed the scene to a giant screen and fed a live Canarian TV broadcast. Jesus’s cries of forgiveness from the cross  brought tears from many of the enthralled crowd, before his moment of death and the cutting down of the body.

If that sounds dramatic, it’s a real understatement, the whole thing was expertly staged and performed and even a cynical old git like me was moved by it all. If you look carefully at these photos you will see that the actor playing Jesus had just a small wedge of wood on the cross to press one foot against to support his weight, the hands hanging limp within the ropes, any slip during his lengthy stint on the cross could have been very painful.

The whole 2 hours was a real tour de force and other similar enactments were taking place across the island, a real show of faith and commitment.