It took the jolly sculpture of a banana farmer to make me revisit one of the shortest but historically important walks in the south of Tenerife. Some ten years ago I last passed under the stone archway of El Porton on the TF1 slip road below Adeje old town but a decades absence of my feet was hardly a blip in the ancient scheme of things.

For most visitors to Tenerife, Fañabe means modern shopping centers and a lengthy golden beach but a little further west the old original town rises into the hills behind the bridge over the motorway. The sculpture is a recent addition and I have been itching to see it up close, sadly there are no details of the sculptor or subject ( possible a nod to Fyffes who brought commercial banana farming to Tenerife), just a very lifelike and kindly presence complete with a sleeve of bananas. Crossing the road bridge and heading down over the Barranco del Agua a large swathe of the cloth protected fruit spread down towards the coast, a small, tatty scarecrow stood on guard.

El Porton marks one end of the Camino de la Virgen, an important track allowing fishermen to get their catch up to Adeje town and when pirates showed up they were able to transfer the statue of the Virgen from the tiny La Enramada to the safer inland church of Santa Ursula. The track of the pathway is etched with the constant flow of the years and despite the modern intrusion of the motorway, power lines, and the five star hotels at the bottom end, it still has a comforting serenity. The old water channel has long since dried up but the tabaiba, and cardon plants still thrive and defy the bone dry old reservoir.

It’s just a 2 km stroll but several stop offs along the way are set aside for worship, La Tosca Colorada is the first on the way down, the big focal point is El Humilladero where a natural altar has been carved out under a limestone outcrop. The second Sunday after Easter marks the big pilgrimage as the statue of the Virgen is taken down the route and onto the Playa La Enramada in La Caleta. Just across the modern main road at the bottom end is the old original church and it’s imposing modern replacement. I was greeted by a melodic peel of bells as the clock struck noon. It’s quite a contrast from the modern tourist hotels to the pathway up to Adeje with the added attraction of Roque del Conde in the distance. I was very pleased with my short journey and I’m sure the banana loving sculpture at the other end will still have his benevolent smile next time I see him.

When coach Raul Agne shouts “Action” on 23 August he is hoping for an Oscar winning season from CD Tenerife but the first two pre season games have shown that the cast list isn’t quite complete.

Sporting Gijon, recently promoted to La Primera were the first test in Santa Cruz and despite starting their top players they looked poor. CD Tenerife sporting director Serrano has only attracted two new players, Pedro Martin looked promising up front but for me central defender German Sanchez was the star with a cool and dominating display in defence. Dani Hernandez with a new contract in his grasp didn’t have a save to make until nearly half time, it came from a move down the left, Sporting’s repeated route.

Omar Perdomo showed at the end of last season that he has plenty to offer as a wide forward and he reacted well to grab a home lead after 65 minutes. Later in the game a raft of changes destroyed Tenerife’s rhythm and Jonay took advantage of poor judgement by Carlos Abad between the sticks, to tie the game. As the Emmasa Cup was put up by the sponsors a winner was needed, many of the sparse 2,687 crowd were caught out by the penalty shoot out and it seemed a few players were. Ricardo made a hash of his spot kick, Alberto also failed and when Pedro Martin put the fifth strike wide it sealed a win for Sporting. We left the Heliodoro relatively pleased with the performance and the promise of the younger fringe players.

Onto El Fraile and a match up with Ibarra, two divisions below CDT with many of last seasons CD Marino players. You can’t accuse Raul Agne of not trying different combinations, Oscar Gonzalez began at right back, he was only signed by the B team a few weeks ago from Sporting San Jose and found himself in senior action. The battle for back up goalie spot went head to head again with Angel Galvan taking the gloves in the first 45 minutes and Roberto coming on for the second half. Nano and Cristo Gonzalez started as the striking combination, Nano looked fired up but Cristo was a little quiet.

On a patchwork mess of a pitch thee home side had most of the play and Manzi scored with a free header after 26 minutes. Last year CDT was a steam roller romping to a 0-5 half time lead, this year they were more like a mobility scooter on low power and went in behind at the break. Ibarra could have increased their lead but Roberto scrambled away a net bound shot, Nano added to his three goals from the La Palma training camp tournament by pouncing to level after 60 minutes.

Ten minutes later CDT made wholesale changes and brought the big guns on, Pedro Martin adopted a main striking role, not his usual style, and posed plenty of threats. A draw looked likely but in the final minute Moyano fed the ball to Abel who blasted in a goal from outside the area – phew. Let’s hope director Serrano has auditions lined up for a couple of new faces before the serious stuff begins on 23 August.

Most teenagers on their first flight to Tenerife would be thinking of beaches and clubbing but for Bradley Mills it was all about boots and circuit training. The 19 year old from Middlesborough has joined CD Marino’s young pool of Tenerife talent as they prepare to make a mark on their Tercera Division group – and he is eager to embrace everything about his new adventure.

I caught up with Bradley six days into pre season training at the Estadio Antonio Dominguez in Playa de Las Americas. “I’ve been with Middlesborough FC since the under 9’s and was on loan at Conference Premier club Gateshead last season but I’ve always fancied playing abroad. My parents stayed at the Columbus Hotel across the road earlier in the year and went to a CD Marino game and talked to a few people about me possibly playing here.”

A club towel from the merchandise shop wasn’t the only link to Marino that his parents brought back. After swapping details with the blues management Bradley was offered a 10 day trial. “ It was all the encouragement I needed, I paid my own flights and came over to train, they must have been pleased because they signed me up after just two days. I liked the style of their football, the coach (Constantino Tirado) gets very involved with training, he’s got the same enthusiasm as the players.”

Bradley plays right back or central midfield and although softly spoken there’s an air of confidence and determination about him. Pressed for his strengths he put them as “two strong feet, good awareness, a good engine, and competitive.” Arriving during one of the hottest summer spells he was adapting well to the two hour plus evening training stints and even his first red hot morning session.

There will be a lot of learning going on this season, the club has always been big on youth development, but with this years modest budget the first team squad will be dominated by promising talent from the ranks and a few returning to their roots after drifting away. Passion for the shirt will be the driving force and it will be good to see the squad develop together. Once again entrance will only be 8 euros for adults with children free and the basic season ticket is just 100 euros. It’s unlikely there will be any home friendlies, the pitch needs to get its breath back after 22,000 packed in for the Marc Anthony concert, 8.000 for the motocross, and more to come for the Arona Summer Festival on 7 August. Just as well CD Marino start the league campaign on 23 August away to El Cotillo in Fuerteventura, make a date for Sunday 30 August at home to Union Viera, noon is the usual kick off time but check CD Marino on Facebook for updates. I will be prowling the touchline again with my camera and you can see match reports and photos on this blog.

Not a hop and skip, a fol dee rol, or a trip trap for me when I checked out the new barranco bridge between Playa Paraiso and Callao Salvaje. My romantic notion of a rickety bridge to link the coastal walks was inspired by childhood tales of the Three Billy Goats Gruff on Junior Choice. The reality was a more industrial and sturdy construction but I must admit it was nice not to have to scramble across the gap this time.

This stretch of Adeje coast has really pulled its socks up in recent years, as my bus cut off the main road and down to Playa Paraiso I noticed council workers in hi vis jacket scooping up discarded rubbish beside the pavement. I remember an evening years ago sitting outside a bar looking up at the tall hotel blocks and wondering where all these people were. All inclusive deals do their bit to deprive the local bars and shops of trade, the baking sun of late was also playing a part on my visit, many toes had chosen to dangle in  swimming pool rather than try the delights of Las Galgas beach.

The sea was sparkling, the sky clear blue, and the sea offered its own temptations. The Paseo Peotanal coastal walkway is a smart place to stroll these days but many people ignore the warning signs to venture onto the rocks. A year ago I assisted ITV Daybreak with their coverage of a double drowning tragedy, although the sea was generally calm this time, the headlands and outcrops were being lapped by the odd bigger waves and people were still taking children onto the rocks despite grim reminders of what can happen.

Anyway armed with my anti troll spray I turned the corner for the small, shallow, but awkward barranco and was a little disappointed to see it was mainly concrete with big pillar supports. So much for a quaint little wooden effort, at least there were wooden slats down one side, the reality was much more practical than my dream, that’s why I am not an architect. It was good to see families with prams and buggies able to enjoy the full glory of the coastal path. In my mind though I was still singing a mash up of Three Billy Goats Gruff and Kim Wilde’s View From A Bridge – well it might work.

Feet firmly on the Callao Salvaje side I completed the walk to look down on Playa Ajabo, another lovely beach that was updated a couple of years ago at great expense. It looked so good down there  and the Sansibar Ajabao Restaurant is a fine place to eat and survey the view but neither it or the beach were very busy. The addition of the bridge brings us even closer to a time when walking pretty much all the way from Los Gigantes to Los Cristianos along the coast will not be just an old fable.

Well we are the South Army so it was quite appropriate that the Armada Sur barbecue set up camp at one of our southern watering holes. Suters Bar at Parque de La Reina was a welcoming sight as our coach dropped us all off for an afternoon of fun, food, and of course beer.

It’s been another tough season following CD Tenerife but experiencing it in such good company always makes it bearable and the usual high level of organization ensured out change of venue from the mountains near Vilaflor had all that we needed. The heat wave was at its peak with temperatures well into the 30’s so everyone was primed up. I started my celebrations the night before and was still feeling rather alcoholically challenged, at least my camera steered me in the right direction.

Our hosts Antonio and Gillian had the beer flowing from a barrel set up outside and The General and Frank had fired up the charcoal so the fine array of meat was ready for noshing. It’s good when it all comes together for the annual bash, it makes Bob’s golden goal efforts all worth while. A few people took the indoor shade to keep an eye on the British Grand Prix but mad dogs and Englishmen (and women), German, and Dutch reflected the international membership of the Armada Sur.

There are always traditions to be maintained, a Pio has to be sacrificed to the flames, it seems harder to find one each year, maybe they are a protected species or the Las Palmas fans have them all rounded up somewhere. A suitable victim was found and given a good roasting on the grill, they seem to resist our flames these days but that makes their eventual demise even more pleasing. This is the best time of the football calendar, all hope lies ahead and we always think this could be our season for promotion.

The beer was quaffed noisily with a few suitable club songs thrown in, amazingly no one fell in the fire, although I think I wobbled dangerously close at one stage, and we were all standing for a late group shot before catching the coach back to our various drop off points. I should have staggered straight off home but common sense was missing in action by then. Ooh my poor head on Monday morning, but it was worth it for another rousing afternoon with my football family.

Sand castles crumbled, barbecues hissed, and even the chilled out hippies in the rocks and sand dunes leapt to their feet. Oi Se Arma were pounding the tiny stage attached to the Matinal Beach Club in Las Galletas and their hard core mix of punk and ska filled the evening air.

Back in the UK the rain was heading for Glastonbury, it would be mud and wet wellies for them but at the small beach between El Fraile and Las Galletas the rocky coast and surrounding areas were still full of families and the sea was gently lapping at the shore. I had been to the beach bar before to see Pornosurf last year, that was a good gig eventually after much waiting but with Oi Se Arma due on stage in La Laguna they were prompt for their 8 pm start.

It must be at least seven years since I last saw Oi Se Arma live, the Santa Cruz five piece have built a big following since then and play regular gigs on the mainland as well as in Tenerife. With their roots in the CD Tenerife peña Frente Blanquiazul their songs have become rallying anthems for many of us and that passion extends to their music and politics. The crowd was small and select but the reception was warm as they burst into action with power and venom. Songs like Clockwork Oi and Balas Perdidas soon woke up the late sun bathers.

It was interesting to see the reactions of passers by using the paths as a short cut, many stopped and stared in astonishment, some small children were having a bop out on the sand, definitely future rude boys and punks. I was with a few of the Armada Sur, it was nice of lead singer Rocco to give us a name check, well The General has followed them since their first chaotic gig. Vamos Tenerife got one of the best responses, always a big football favourite and full of pride for the island and history of Tenerife.

It was a shortish set of just under an hour with one eye on the later gig up north but a good reminder of the best aspects of live rock. The closing number, Working Class Kids, was a frenzy of power and thrashing guitars, and as prickly as the cactus plants that surrounded the hippie tents, hopefully we will see them in the south again soon. If you want to hear them you can find loads of their work on You Tube. As for the venue, they have regular live music on Fridays and Sundays, look them up on www.matinalbeachclub.com

If you guessed the big metal arch in Torviscas was part of a giant McBurger drive in you would be wrong. The large abandoned area just behind San Eugenio was Sky Park, an ambitious bungee jumping theme park that had a short and patchy history over 10 years ago. There was I flying back to the UK a few weeks ago when I saw a large advert in a Canarian newspaper offering the forgotten leisure area for sale or rent – that untapped quite a few memories.

It was in my early days (2002) with The Western Sun as a cub reporter (I think cub was the word people yelled at me) when I joined a pre opening tour of the park. It was all very high tech and impressive although there is no way you would ever get me to dangle on a length of knicker elastic, even if it was over a vat of beer. Bureaucracy was even worse in those days and there were delays galore in getting the park doors open, then the police closed it just a few days later and so the game went on.

Finally up and running and sometimes using the alternative name of Water World, they hosted a joint live broadcast afternoon in August featuring Power FM with their recently aquired subsidiary Waves FM, and Oasis FM. This was the second part of the inter radio challenges, the first was a paintball face off at a site just south of Playa San Juan. It was a fun event around the many pools and on a range of bungee rides. The daddy of them all was the mega tall jump from a crane platform, it could be adjusted so you dipped gently into the pool or stopped just short.

One remarkable wheelchair bound ex soldier did the jump in his chair ending up just above the pool. I was snapping away at the amazing feat thinking what good pics it would make, unfortunately while it was going on I missed four young female Waves FM presenters flashing their ample charms as they whizzed back and forth on the bungee swing ride. The climax of the afternoon was a head first leap off challenge between Chris Elkington boss of Oasis FM and Gavin Watson his opposite number at Power Fm and Waves FM. What can I say, Chris hurled himself down but Gavin was not available and Charlie Thornley of Waves FM had to uphold the west coast honour with a dive that Ronaldo would have been proud of. Sadly the report of that afternoon is the only Sky Park article I have in my small archive.

There were other visits, FAILTE held their St Patricks Day party there and at one time the lounge bar on the complex was a mini night club that held music and comedy nights with shuttle buses from around the south. Those good times were all too few and the next enforced closure was final leaving the prime site to the elements, there was a newspaper report a few months ago of a small fire in a shed on the site, maybe people living rough?

I believe the area can only be used for leisure rather than building apartments and the advert stressed for sale or rent, quite a lot of the infrastructure is still standing. It’s return would make an interesting addition to the Tenerife leisure scene so if you have a big wad of cash contact skiparktenerife@gmail.com (yes that spelling). I promise that given another chance I wont miss any sky high female flashing.

Had he popped out for a sandwich with Oxford marmalade or fancied a cheeky pint of locally brewed Morrells beer across the road? The rain coat of city engineer William White was still hanging on its peg and blueprints for city works were strewn across his desk at Oxford Museum, frozen in time a century after their creation.

Outside in St Aldates the rain pelted down and I had chosen this easier, dryer option for the final day of my home city visit. As a true Oxonian I thought I had a decent knowledge of Oxford but I was about to add some historical cement to the crumbling bricks of my memory. The original museum building is closed and awaiting an expensive upgrade so the large, sprawling city engineers office inside the town hall now houses the main exhibits. It was nice to see that the town got equal billing with the gown (University), I grew up in the shadow of the car factory and found the references to founder William Morris very interesting and also the features on the leisure and culture of Oxford. Adding a modern touch, an interactive video consul took me on a high speed tour out from the city centre in the basket of a delivery bike with comments from cartoon quarter boys, they are the famous figures that hammer the chimes on the carfax tower clock.

A brief poke around the ground floor of the town hall dispelled thoughts of a dull, uninviting public edifice, they now have a café, art gallery, and a souvenir shop. I wanted to see more and snapped up the chance to take a guided tour for just five pounds, the museum is free but they ask for a minimum donation of one pound. My guide Jane whisked me into the private corridors where the day to day admin offices are and unlocked the stairs down to the old crypt, now the plate room where many of the valuable dinner services and ceremonial gifts are stored. A sealed door marked the entrance to a small section of the labyrinth of tunnels that extend underneath Oxford, they provided handy exit routes from persecutors.

Back up in the main body of the building it was clear to see the love and respect that had been lavished on the current town hall, a young designer Henry Hare completed the building in 1897 with scant regard to financial restraints, the elaborate copper air vents were just one indulgence. Moving up through the city council chambers I could feel the weight of history and civic pride. Jane’s knowledge was deep and impressive with plenty of light touches to ensure it wasn’t all dry textbook stuff. The Assembly rooms were stunning with high vaulted ceilings, paintings and portraits rich in history and value, and intricate plaster work. They were preparing the main room for a wedding and the sound system was belting out some classic Stranglers tracks – did they know I was coming?

A balcony leads out from the assembly hall, I remember cheering Oxford Cheetahs all conquering mid 80’s riders when they were given a civic reception. My brain was starting to recall other visits to the town hall for beer festivals and the Unison union Christmas party – the majestic stairway from the hall to the street was a bit of a tester on those occasions. The town hall also stages concerts, exhibitions, and wrestling. My access all areas tour was taking me through corridors lined with artistic memories of Oxford and into the city council chamber, scene of many a heated debate. The old crown court, replaced some 30 years ago, was still a stern and foreboding place, I stood in the dock and as I noticed the cold tiled stairs leading directly down to the cells I hoped my library books were not overdue. The separate rooms for the judge and jury were quite a contrast, one large and relaxing, the other cramped and with minimum facilities.

The tour concluded well over an hour later down the main stairway via more impressive stained glass features. It was a fascinating insight into a building that goes way beyond the functional needs it was intended to cover. A wooden model pointed out the extra challenges that had to be overcome due to the slightly tilted setting of St Aldates and Blue Boar Street that border the town hall. Hopefully the full scope of the museum will soon be realized if it’s original annex home can be restored but the town hall looks set to serve the good people of Oxford for many more decades.

Spin that roulette wheel of weather, Colin is back in Oxford. Well that’s how it seemed for my latest home visit, glorious June sunshine heralded my arrival and by late Sunday afternoon I was sprawled out in Bury Knowle Park with cod and chips from Posh Fish. I actually felt overdressed in my jeans and was looking forward to a few evening ales.

Organised devastation seems to sum up the huge building projects underway in my home city, the Westgate car park has been flattened ready for a new enlarged shopping centre and the bottle neck near Oxford rail station was even more jammed due to a grand redesign underway. More pubs had been wiped off the map or converted into cocktail bars or accommodation but I still dug out some interesting brews in favourite watering holes. My friend Christine took me up to the Varsity Club, a series of bars on several floors entered from the Covered Market, we were going to enjoy the roof garden but with Monday cloud making the temperature plunge we were both under dressed and retreated to the lounge below.

I always like the musicians and buskers in Cornmarket Street, they were even more bizarre this time. On Bonn Square I saw a man juggling balls and a woman behind him in a black negligee playing a violin – I couldn’t work out if they were separate acts or a bizarre mash up. I managed to do a little Tommy the Tourist time and visited the Oxford Prison and it’s redeveloped grounds full of posh restaurants, I had already done the tour of the few remaining cells before so gave the grisly history lesson a miss this time.

The sun managed one scorcher of a day so I visited the Botanic Garden off the High Street, a wonderful collection of plants, flowers, and greenhouses with exotic specimens. I was wowed by the wall plants and herbaceous border, the cannabis plants in the medicinal plant collection blew my mind, and I crumbled at the sight of the giant rhubarb. The vast layout must is a real labour of love with surprise highlights like the rock garden, and water garden. Inside the greenhouses I encountered tropical blooms, familiar looking palm trees, and the giant water lily collection.

It’s just 4.95 pounds to get in the Botanic Garden and a restful stroll also gives access to the River Thames and the big punting station. During the year they hold special family picnic days and courses in botany and nature. As a nipper it was always one of my favourite days out and added a splash of colour between some gray weather days during my weeks visit.

Guess which glorious island isn’t top of the Real Betis brochure list? The female footballers of Granadilla Tenerife Sur inflicted a 3-1 play off first leg defeat on the Sevilla visitors just a week after their men were humbled 2-0 at CD Tenerife.

A tougher challenge was expected in the final two games that separate GTS from a place in the Primera and Betis were quick out off the gate with a left break  created goal from top scorer Paula after just three minutes. I was worried that the local ladies might get swamped but they showed fantastic character to turn the tie around. There was a bumper crowd of 2,000 to 3,000, depending on what estimate you read, and where I was prowling the sidelines by the team benches there was a liberal sprinkling of non payers on the rocky hills above. Was that the smell of BBQs drifting across or was that a hint of rock and roll cigarettes?

Back at the game the inspirational orange booted Maria Jose Perez (cousin of Ayoze) was starting to make her prescence felt out on the left flank. Getting in a good position Maria sliced a shot over the bar. Home pressure was building and a teasing cross from Marilen found the head of Maria to level the scores just before the 10 minute mark. Silvia found herself free with just the Betis goalie to beat but the stopper raced out to snuff out the danger. Betis had their chances, a speedy raid brought out the best in home goalie Noelia who showed a safe pair of hands. Reichel was always a threat in the centre for GTS she worked hard to shake off her markers in the box and wasn’t far away from the target with her hooked shot.

Betis were on the back foot, Granadilla spotted their opening and charged at their rivals, Reichel was waiting in the goal mouth to add her header to the scoreline, 2-1 up and looking good after 30 minutes. It was vital to take advantage of a reticent Betis side and during another attack the visiting keeper could only parry a shot from Miriam leaving Maria to bury the loose ball in the net. The Sevilla team had their best spell at the start of the second half, now was the time for the Granadilla defence to show their worth, they didn’t disappoint.

Sub Ana caused lots of problems for the Betis defence, a delicate touch to the side of the goalie nearly brought a fourth goal. That was followed up with another good chance as Ana turned swiftly and fired a shot that Marilen couldn’t quite finish off.  There was still plenty of danger from Betis but the home defence, particularly Laura, were on top form. It was good to see the whole squad get involved, Tibi came off the bench for Maria Jose who departed to a huge ovation after a virtuoso performance.

A sloppy back pass nearly offered Betis a way back but Pizco covered well and took the ball away from harm and a great save from Noelia underlined the home win. It sets things up well for the away leg, coach Toni Ayala insists they will go for another win rather than sit back on thee two goal cushion. Come on ladies, one last push.