How do you like your art Mr Kirby? As strange as possible please. Well the first part of my Santa Cruz and La Laguna trip delivered on that request. It was nice to walk into the super cooled lobby of the Hotel Atlantida as the digital read outs of Santa Cruz were panting at 35 degrees from the calima that continued to hang over Tenerife. The photo exhibition was simply called 801 but after going up and down in the glass lift overlooking Avenida Tres de Mayo it took another trip to reception before the artistic penny dropped.

I’ve seen galleries, street art, and strange figures banging gongs in the nearby El Tanque converted petrol tank but never an exhibition in a hotel room. I knocked on the door of room 801 and was welcomed in by top photographer Alfonso Bravo and his attractive female assistant. We had met before a few years ago when I was invited to shadow the Peroni calendar shoot 2 years running, Alfonso was the director, snapper, and creative genius. This current batch of life size studies of people was laid out around the room, I counted five but was then told there were two more in the bathroom. At one stage I saw a plate of food and a bottle of beer and wondered if it was for visitors, I realized just in time it was his dinner. The photos were excellent and the setting very different, and as a bonus I got some nice panoramic shots of Santa Cruz by hanging out of an 8^th floor window.

I usually have a few targets on my trips, this Sunday visit coincided with the latest Sal 2 shopping promotion day in the capital. The streets were noticeably busier, the Africa indoor Market by the TEA art gallery was surrounded by the sprawling weekly Sunday market with its bizarre mix of antiques, trash, and bargains. It was strange to see the sculpture of the fishermen swamped by a rising tide of old typewriters, books, and ancient radios. I’m sure if the offer was right they would have sold the sculpture as well, getting it home on the bus might have been a tad difficult. Pushing on into the heart of the city everyone was laden with shopping bags, trade was good. There were 45 mini marquees around the streets selling old stock from shops, and many premises that normally close on a Sunday had flung their doors open to tempt a few in. Music, face painting, and bouncy castles helped to fuel the spending boom.

One of the hotspots was Plaza del Principe with loads of food and drink stalls around the park bandstand, outside I was pleased to see the official CD Tenerife stall doing a roaring trade in smaller shirts of recent seasons. The cash till bonanza was also benefiting from the arrival of two cruise liners in port, I’m not too sure how impressed the high rollers on the Celebrity Eclipse were to be moored so close to a rusty oil exploration ship. It didn’t seem to deter anyone from spending, there was a steady stream of shop carrier bags returning to the big ships.

The big item on my agenda was the Circo On Ice in La Laguna so with an eye on the clock I caught the tram, always a pleasure. Here’s a couple of photos to give you a taster of the circus, I really enjoyed the show, it took me back to some of the smaller rinks I visited when following Oxford City Stars ice hockey team. The circus is in town until 2 November, look out for my revue at blog.tenerife.co.uk . I asked them about becoming a clown but they said I was over qualified. Two hours later I was heading back down south on the Titsa bus to Los Cristianos with a thirst like a coal miner. Yep, that was a good day that was.

Three nil up as Mirandes desperately tried to convert a corner into a goal, where was Choco the new CD Tenerife scoring sensation? The Honduras striker was back ready to help his defence but with an eye to break and complete his hat trick. It’s not just the four goals that have endeared the loan signing to the Santa Cruz faithful, it’s his work rate, enthusiasm, and sublime skills.

After heavy criticism, coach Raul Agne deserves a big slice of credit for turning the season around whilst under the shadow of the axe. The boss’s faith was repaid in this 3-0 home win as key players bounced back to form, Dani Hernandez turned the clock back to his solid displays of last season, his double save at the end of the first half, a push aside and a tip over, was immense. I wouldn’t have rushed to re-instate Aitor Sanz after his latest game out due to a daft sending off but Agne stood by him and the midfielder was a diamond, instrumental in most of CDT’s best moves and grabbing a goal along the way.

Cristian Garcia looks a different player in midfield, he even ventured forward and forced a save after 18 minutes. Choco is fast becoming the man to watch, he ran Olympic rings around his markers before a possible three game absence helping Honduras to qualify for Brazil 2016. Weaving his way through Mirandes Galan stopped him with a foul and the ref pulled him up with an offside call but he just kept coming. Pedro Martin is a perfect foil for Choco with his unpredictable runs, Suso came close to finishing off another of his probing raids.

Another strong intervention from Cristian Garcia won the ball and he fed Suso who slipped it through to the fast advancing Choco, the net bulged and he was down on his knees celebrating. The timing was good, those Dani saves ensured Tenerife went into the break with the 8.039 crowd confident of a second successive victory. There was another double stop from Dani Hernandez, making an athletic save from Velez before blocking the loose ball. Jairo came on for Pedro, the local youth still figure highly in Agne’s plans. Tenerife swept forward again and despite a touch from the Mirandes keeper, Aitor Sanz knocked the rebound into the net for the second goal.

Two goals are good, but three adds an extra shine to a win, Camara made a good run down the right and with a little help from Aitor Sanz the ball came over to Choco, he chested the ball under control and fired past the goalie. The final ten minutes was quite a luxury, no real worries about the result, just a blast of noise from the fans and smiles all round. Late substitutions brought Nano and Tommy Martinez on for a few minutes, one of them or Cristo Gonzalez will be needed to cover for Choco, a big challenge for them and the team. A second clean sheet in two games was very welcome, it’s too early to think all our problems have melted away but it was an inspiring performance.

Back on home turf and back to winning ways, that was CD Marino after notching a well deserved and comfortable 2-0 win over Las Zocas. The young squad is clearly maturing and with captain Mendy outstanding in the centre of defence they played with confidence and style. The only annoying aspect of this game was how the referee managed to send three players off (two from Marino) when it was a hard fought but never dirty game.

Kevin Castro cut in from the right wing to slice an early chance wide and Gaizka burst through a few minutes later but was unable to test the second choice goalie of Las Zocas. Castro reacted well to control a loose ball up front but when it fell to Alberto he shot over the bar. Cicovic in the home goal commanded his area and picked out high crosses with ease. Las Zocas managed a few good moments including a wasted header that missed the target. Manu was the main threat for the visitors, he flashed a shot across the home goal and the Marino defence had another half chance to mop up just before the break.

The second half opened with a low cross drilled in by Alberto, it was begging for a touch but Las Zocas were fortunate that there were no takers. Gaizka is still looking for his first Marino league goal but he was always a threat and a sturdy target man, Las Zocas had to squeeze him out as he shaped up for a clear shot just after the restart. The stalemate was broken after 53 minutes when a slick move down the left found Kevin Castro who nipped in to beat the keeper. Just seven minutes later a well taken corner was met by the head of Mendy who powered the ball into the net for a 2-0 lead.

Las Zocas tried to hit back with a shot that narrowly missed the post and a rising header but the game was in the bag for Marino. The ref grabbed the spotlight sending off Bradley Mills and Saavedra within four minutes of each other, both for second yellow cards. It could have been a body blow for the blues but they covered well in the final 15 minutes. There was a frantic finish as the ref brandished another red card, this one for Jesua of Las Zocas in time added on, the visitors managed a late charge to try to get a goal back but they found Cicovic in resolute form as he easily dealt with a high swirling ball.

My Monday morning hangover was more entertaining and slightly less painful than this latest CD Tenerife defeat. At half time I spotted a moored oil rig trying to paddle away from Santa Cruz to avoid catching a glimpse of this gloom fest. Even the scoreboard broke down in disgust, and yes it really was that bad, not just losing 0-2 to a very average Real Oviedo side, but looking devoid of ideas, tactics, and even basic skills.

Coach Raul Agne seems to have lost the plot, his plan to start with just Alberto, Jorge, and Raul Camara as the defensive line was lame. Cristian Garcia is a liability at right back but looked no better pushed further forward. Spain under 17 prospect Jorge was totally lost trying to cover to his right and the only saving grace in the rearguard was Alberto. Dani Hernandez again looked unsure in goal and with Pedro Martin out injured, Choco Lozano was frustrated up front with just the ineffective Tommy Martinez supposedly helping him.

We are always hopeful in the Heliodoro, despite the bad run of form, another 8,781 crowd showed up willing and hoping to see something better but that faith was shot down after 8 minutes. Susaeta sent a cross over from our wide open right side and Linares dispatched the ball past the bewildered Dani. The home keeper did better with a later one on one against Linares. There was no fight in The Tenerife side, Choco Lozano was willing up front but got poor service, Suso blasted a long shot at the visiting keeper but with Vitolo and Aitor Sanz as midfield passengers it looked like being a grim evening.

Omar replaced Tommy Martinez at half time, although the young winger made some progress it was still a voice in the wilderness. Oviedo wont rank among the best sides to visit Santa Cruz this season but they did the basics well and grabbed their chances. The second goal came from a deep pass that caught the CDT defence ball watching as Borja helped himself to a free header. Could anything else go wrong? Of course it could, Raul Camara went off injured just after the goal to be relieved by Aurtenetxe. Nano, just back from injury took over from Jairo, it made little difference, Aitor Sanz managed to drag our hopes down a few more notches when he pulled a second booking and made for the changing room.

Choco had a late half chance from a Nano pass saved by the goalie, the whistle blew, and a collective sigh of desperation washed over the stadium. Coach Raul Agne looked suitably uncomfortable as the players left the field, he has reportedly been told he has one more game to breathe life into the squad. I think we know how this is going to end.

The fight against breast cancer never rests and Tenerife has some of the fiercest battlers of all. The Walk For Life team are now in their 11^th year of raising funds and awareness and have diversified by adding the Swim For Life, held again this year at T3 – Tenerife Top Training in La Caleta.

Pink skull caps sliced through the water in the two pools as well over a hundred swimmers of all ages worked through a challenging schedule of races in a range of strokes. It was very much the taking part that was most important although some of the experienced club swimmers were keenly competitive. I’m always impressed by the organization of the Walk For Life and the swimming version was just as smooth with Tenerife Rotary Club and the T3 staff pitching in with the charity regulars.

Olympic swimmers from around the globe regularly train at T3 but even they would have struggled to match the enthusiasm and commitment of these Sunday morning speedsters. Many competitors had traveled down from Santa Cruz and swimmers were from several communities with a mix of languages, cancer is a common enemy to all. Shining through all the flurry of activity was a sense of fun that bubbled up in a fast, frothy, and frantic mass water aerobic session. Instructor Teresa “Maquina” Guarino whipped them up into a frenzy and pulled the tide of swimmers from one side of the pool and back again with a control that King Canute would have envied.

The end result of the three hours was a pot of 2,200 euros to be shared between Spain’s AECC charity and the Tenerife based AMATE, and the Walk For Life funds. The latest project to near completion is the Pink Room, an Adeje help center for breast cancer sufferers and their helpers. Advice will be available in a range of languages and they will also be able to organize events and practical support. The center is due to open in October 2015, they are still looking for items to help furnish the building, have a look on the multi lingual website in the Pink Room section, you may have just what they need.

There will barely be time to dry towels and rinse out swim gear as work goes on to prepare for the Walk For Life 2015 on Sunday 13 December. Ink that in your diary and keep an eye on the website for news of the route through Arona and Adeje. Big respect to all the swimmers and organizers who made the Swim For Life a success – see you for more next year.

When Los Cristianos celebrates there are parties within parties and fiestas within fiestas. The annual celebrations for the Virgen del Carmen are a great example, just turn a corner and your caught up in a whirl of music and colour.

The fishermen were busy at the port decorating their boats ready for their big parade at sea but just inland of the old beach Saturday lunchtime saw the start of the Fiesta del Sombrero, a mad hatters tea party that took over the small plaza by the square fountain. Trestle tables groaned under the weight of snack and nibbles and of course the wine and beer was flowing. This year a stage ensured live music got people up and bopping, a good way to test the sturdiness of their headgear.

The order of the day wasn’t the over the top, year in the planning, crowning glories of Carnaval, it was more about sprucing up a tired topper with some fun and imagination. Flowers and small animals cropped up and some people incorporated the fishing theme that drives the Virgen del Carmen celebrations. Even Los Cristianos couldn’t escape the influence of those yellow cartoon superstars the minions, their film success had gone to several revelers heads.

There was no prize for the best hat but for me the Dame Edna of the afternoon was the large shallow basket draped in Tenerife produce and greenery. It looked good from front and back and was brimming with pride, take a bow that young lady. This was only the second time the hat fiesta had appeared on the fiesta programme, it seems to be evolving nicely, I’m looking forward to some more jauntily angled offerings next year.

Where was the reaction, the wounded pride, the statement of intent? The Heliodoro pitch may have rallied quickly after being stomped by a rock concert but CD Tenerife looked faded, tired, and short of ideas as they added a 1-2 home loss against Gimnastic to the 6-3 thumping at Numancia.

Coach Raul Agne brought in Cristian Garcia at right back for Jon Aurtenetxe but it didn’t work as Ferran of Nastic gave the 33 year old a torrid time. Dani Hernandez had to be sharp to snatch the ball from Ferran as Nastic exploited slack marking and when Vitolo threaded a neat pass through to Abel at the other end, the Tenerife midfielder put it wide of the post. Neither side looked particularly good but goal less at the break it seemed a hopeful sign that the speedy Omar arrived on the left wing as Abel departed.

Choco Lozano made his first start and looked lively, the Nastic defenders gave the Honduran a few bruises but he showed a resilient attitude and set up a Pedro Martin header just after the restart. It took a sharp eye and quick reflexes for Choco to grab the lead, Nastic defender Molina lost the ball and the striker nipped in to lob a crisp shot into the net. That should have lit the fuse but Tenerife didn’t seize the game, Choco made a good chance that Pedro headed, Nastic raided down the left again, Ferran pumped the ball across and Alex beat a cluster of defenders to head it on for Mari to bury past Dani.

When Cristo Gonzalez took over from Choco it seemed a strange move and made Tenerife’s task even more difficult. The 17 year old was reported to be a transfer window target for Valencia but didn’t enhance his reputation this time out. The referee was losing the plot and the frustration of the home players was growing, Vitolo snatched at a decent chance and the game was slipping away. Time for another change, a subdued Suso got pulled with Omar switching to the right as sub Jon Aurtenetxe tried to open a channel down the left.

Tenerife fell for the same routine again, Ferran flying down the left, crossing a deep ball to the far post where Camara should have been covering, Jean Luc had plenty of time to plant his header for the winning goal. It wasn’t the result or performance we expected, a bumper 9,174 crowd was clearly willing to write off the opening day debacle but this inept display will instill a few more doubts.

It’s going to be a season of harsh lessons for the young guns of CD Marino, putting the ball in the net is at the top of the list. Despite their dominance of the first half they clipped the woodwork three times and went into the break level at 0-0 in their relocated home game against Union Viera at Buzanada. The Gran Canarian visitors arrived just a few minutes before kick off, grew into the game in the second half, and ran out comfortable 0-3 winners.

A couple of early breaks tested Marino’s Serbian goalie Cicovic before the blues started to exploit the flanks, Facu Ramirez teased Viera down the left and Marchena overlapped to put in some tempting crosses, while Suso explored the right side with Bradley Mills from the Middlesborough FC academy ready to support when needed. Facu looped a shot over the visitors bar before Marchena set up Kevin Castro for an attempt that missed the target.

Gaizka, a free scoring old school centre forward looked strong in the air, he headed down a Marchena centre that Facu blasted high. Suso chased a through ball that unlocked the Viera defence but his shot was just wide of the target. Bradley Mills could have had a dream debut, he headed a shot over and saw his low pass to Facu veer away from the goal. Their was a let off for Marino late in the half when a Viera player bore down on the goal, Cicovic came out and was rounded by the attacking player who fired wide when it looked easier to score.

The second half opened with more of the same as the Viera keeper was at full stretch to deny Gaizka , and Bradley’s header was short of the power and direction to beat the keeper. Marino were still getting in behind the defence down the wings but swapping Josito for Marchena after 52 minutes let Viera off the hook. Sandro tried a speculative long shot for Marino but play switched ends quickly and Kilian caught Marino cold to open the scoring. A double substitution saw Alexis and Alberto replace Facu and Suso, leaving Gaizka stranded with his supply lines cut off.

A brief spell of pressure forced three corners in quick succession for Marino, the nearest effort brought a one handed push away from the Viera goalie. A Peraza free kick at the other end of the field met little resistance as the ball evaded Cicovic for a 2-0 scoreline. Marino appealed for a way back into the game via a handball but the ref signaled it hit the Viera defenders chest and waved play on. The third goal after 83 minutes was almosrt in slow motion as Peraza strolled the ball into the net. The Gran Canaria forward should have completed his hat trick late on but somehow managed to make a clearing defensive header when a clean nod was the easier option. Lots to work on but plenty of bright spots in the first half performance, only two players survived from the end of last season and with a top age of 23 they will hope to add confidence and experience as the season moves on.

You what? You’ll have to shout at me for a few days as my hearing is shot to pieces after dipping into the Goymar Fest heavy metal festival in Guimar. Another legacy is my dreams being stalked by demonic rock stars wielding guitars like axes, oh yes it was a great return to form as the 12 hour music feast bounced back from last years cancellation.

After over stretching itself in recent years, the Goymar Fest went back to its roots on a large outdoor concrete sports court in El Puertito. The marina was locked up for the night but the shingle beach stretched out, separated from the concert by a maritime walkway. The wind was blowing hot and strong as we arrived and the scorching day was morphing into a sultry night. A wide and varied assortment of geezers, geeks, goths, punks, rockers, and metal heads was mingling around the nearby streets with the odd bottle of happy juice doing the rounds. The stage spotlights were spilling out into the sky and the thrash of guitars and howl of angst filled singers was screeching through the air.

The Goymar Fest began at 2 pm and was set to bash on until 2 am, how much would such a prolonged bill of Canarian bands cost? I’m sure it will rock your world when I tell you entry was a mere three euros for a plastic wristband. Beer stalls inside were selling Estrella beer at 1.50 euros a half with payment made in the form of tickets bought in bulk just inside the gate. We loaded up with beers and found a good spot near the stage just in time to hear Death Above, of particular interest to us Armada Sur members as the lead singer used to be a drummer with terrace friends Oi Se Arma, a top notch punk and ska band.

Death Above were pretty wild, the singer was relishing his freedom from behind the skins, and the guitar heroes were in full flow. The wind was unleashing its own venom, the palm trees were swaying wildly beyond the fence, or maybe they were just head banging. The drummer was on a raised platform at the back of the stage and at one point his cymbals were blown to the floor by a cheeky gust. There was a nice sedate buzz among the hundreds assembled, some jumped into the swirling mosh pit in front of the stage but others browed merchandise stalls or shouted conversations with each other. I was quite bemused by the young ladies to the side of the stage who spent most of the night playing with hoola hoops, trying to spin them around their waists as the speakers boomed out their music of choice.

Pick of the night for me was the next band up, Neomaniac arrived with a theatrical bang as the lead singer attacked his microphone to produce a spray of sparks . They were all made up like extras from a horror flick and their music was suitably dark and brooding with hints of The Prodigy. It’s always nice when a band reaches out to its audience, Neomaniac teased, taunted and cursed their fans and the lead singer waved a demon doll at them before feeding a few front rowers with strands of gloopy, blood red morsels from a plastic pot. One of the big features of the night was encouragement to the next metal generation, some very young fans got chances to join the bands on stage to sharpen their youthful vocal chords.

I had a good few wanders around the festival area to enjoy the unusual sights, many people had come prepared with their own adapted fashions and drinking vessels. There was a good sprinkling of rock chicks with the next band, ODIO well supported. Their green haired guitarist and body surfing lead singer caught the attention of the head bangers. By now it was getting well into Sunday and our time to make the trip back down the TF1 motorway. It was good to see the Goymar Fest back on the musical map, roll on next year.

Staring at brick walls night not sound the most interesting past time but it depends on what they are covered in. I always find myself drawn to street art, the bolder the better, and Adeje has some fine examples of how to crash into people’s minds when they least expect it. There was an early bonus for me on my latest walk up the Calle Grande in Adeje town centre, a new arts space La Musa de Adeje, only a few weeks on from its opening and full of delights by 11 artists from Tenerife and La Gomera.

Their first exhibition is called Musas and featured paintings, sculptures, and works in metal and stone. Each artists area had a brief written introduction in Spanish and English to their inspirations and choice of materials and the gallery hosts had plenty of knowledgeable information for browsers. A few of the artists names were familiar to me and one was to feature again later on my Adeje tour. It’s a commercial gallery and all the works are for sale, there is a shortage of outlets in the south of Tenerife for local talent and exhibitions will run here for around six weeks before they ring the changes. You can find a full run down of the works on the website but it’s so much more rewarding to pop in and browse, Monday to Saturday from 10 am to 7 pm.

Onward to my planned calls, both murals, Adeje Ayuntamiento has encouraged a series of large artistic tributes to the traditions of the area and I passed between some in Avenida de la Constitution and Piedra Redonda before reaching La Postura where a giant red and white communication mast has dominated the eyeline – but now it has competition. Artist Matias Mata has transformed an ugly wall in Calle Telefonica into a bright, flowing display of positive faces with calls for freedom, humanity, and liberty. The detail on the facial expressions brings them to life and the bold colours reach out and grab you. Matias may have already tweaked your attention with his multi coloured bus stops on the TF1 motorway as you head into Santa Cruz.

Las Nieves was still left on my tick list but I needed to remind myself of the suburbs exact position so I took an overview from the modern church Plaza Antonio Moreira Bua. Even with a glorious view out to sea and a clear outline of La Gomera, the 240 square metre homage to Adeje’s agricultural past hit me straight between the eyes. It looked even more impressive close up, the church like central arch, common to the neighbouring modern pink blocks, was offset perfectly by the scenes on the brick canvas. The artist Conrado Diaz had already impressed me with his smaller works at the La Musa De Adeje exhibition but the sheer scale of this was awe inspiring. If you want to see some more of Adeje’s triumphs here’s a previous crop but do yourself a favour and take a wander through the streets of Adeje for the real thing.