Ooh you wouldn’t get that in your bath…and other admiring phrases were heard from a packed harbour wall at Los Cristianos as the four mast barque Sea Cloud began a new era of leisure cruise visitors.

Advance reports said it would moor offshore and shuttle passengers to their short Tenerife stop off but I was delighted to see it nestled up to the port as Fred Olsen and Armas ferries inched respectfully around it. Once on the dockside I could appreciate the sheer size of the 3,077 ton yacht built in 1931 at Kiel shipyard. The 316 foot length (96 metres) Hassar as it was originally christened fitted snugly in port and a welcome table of Canarian food and wine awaited at the bottom of the gang plank as traditionally dressed dancers and musicians tuned up.

The 32 cabins of oak and Italian marble hold only 64 passengers and they seemed shy to come ashore and meet their large welcoming party but gradually they emerged and were given flowers and nibbles. I grabbed a few words with Wollmer a German from Berlin who had got on at Cadiz and he turned out to be an experienced sea dog. “This is my third cruise on Sea Cloud, it has a nice family feel, most of us on board are from Germany or Belgium. The weather has been good but the waves got a bit strong near Madeira and for two days it was quite lively.”

Wollmer had also been hiking in La Gomera and Tenerife before and was looking forward to seeing some old favourite spots. A coach was nearby waiting to whisk a few keen explorers to Teide national park but with only five hours in port it would be a whirlwind trip.

I really wanted a look around on board but the staff at the top of the gang plank weren’t having it, maybe I should have mentioned my nautical past – Captain Birdseye inspired me as I grew up. The free food wasn’t shifting that fast but lots of trays of goodies were being moved about on board just before the Arona mayor and friends joined the crew.

Sea Cloud certainly added a buzz to Los Cristianos waters before heading off to Las Palmas and will make a quick return on 16 November and Sea Cloud 2 gets in on the act on 18 November. The ships get bigger next year, The World with 550 passengers arrives on 25 February and Albatros (above) with 900 money spending tourists pops in on 18 April, 5 May, and 9 December.

It’s the debt that can never be repaid, CD Tenerife owe so much to goalkeeper Sergio Aragoneses after another wonder show, this time to save a 1-1 draw at Coruxo after the team looked to be cruising. It was going to be a yummy main course after CD Marino impressed me with a 2-0 home win over Rayo Vallecano B but I ended up with football indegestion after a tense finish for Tenerife.

Llorente returned at left back and Chechu started as Suso sat out his suspension, Sergio got an early touch from a Iosu header but his opposite number Fernando was also warmed his gloves taking a hanging ball from Chechu as Aridane threatened to pounce. Tenerife had a major scare after 15 minutes when Ross stumbled and Iosu beat two defenders to chip the ball over Sergio and thankfully the bar as well.

Tenerife settled and Ros set up Cristo for a long shot that the home keeper tipped over on the half hour. Chechu tooka short corner to Cristo who had a shot, the keeper got a hand to the ball but it was not enough as it bounced up for Aridane to crash into the net for a 1-0 lead. It was refreshing to see the ref book home player Samuel for a theatrical fall as he looked for a soft penalty.

The second half opened with Fernando smothering a Loro effort, Aridane hooked a shot over the bar, and Loro had another go with a curling free kick the keeper caught – so far so good. Coruxo started to threaten, a free kick over the wall was mopped up by Sergio but he had no chance with the goal. A high loopung cross fell beyond the defence for Atunez to head down into the goal. The tide had turned but Sergio defied it all, as the CDT defenders lost their footing on the boggy pitch he was quick to snaffle the ball and Iosu had two great chances foiled first with a hand save and then an outstretched foot. Sub Guillem had a clear opening but struck his shot straight at the keeper and the last word went to Sergio with an acrobatic diving save from a long shot in injury time.

Earlier I had expected to see a demoralized and nervous CD Marino side but they were full of spirit and determination as they destroyed a poor Rayo team. Matias has been getting rave reviews in goal and a fingertip first minute save was the first of several classy stops. Balduino (above) led the attack like an old fashioned English forward and coolly rounded a defender for his first goal after 11 minutes. Just before half time Balduino was on target again this time after a good team break.

Sendings off and defensive errors have undone Marino this season but they looked solid in the second half and deserved more goals even before Rayo had a player sent off. Balduino made way for experienced striker Noah who continued to torment the visiting goalie with a charge that nearly caught him out and a hard shot that rebounded off the keeper to Jordan who fired over the bar.

There was plenty of hunger in the Marino ranks, Jordan blasted a shot straight at the keeper and Noah kept leading the charge with good support from midfield. Rayo woke up in the final minutes but Matias turned another effort over and Jordan made a strong blocking clearance to ensure a well deserved home victory.

I’ve always been fascinated by how people write as much as why they do, so after channel surfing through some truly awful telly tonight I latched onto a BBC 1 Imagine special about Ian Rankin writing his new Rebus crime novel Standing In Another Man’s Grave. Partly a video diary of his creative process it’s another prompt for me to push on with my oh so slow work in progress that might one day emerge blinking into the sunlight as something near readable.

Back to my main fascination, Rankin was writing much of his new thriller with a favourite LP from Tangerine Dream playing in the background. Maybe I should see if some classic mood music from The Undertones might inspire me to knuckle down. My mind tends to wander easily, you really wouldn’t want to see inside my head, it’s like my sock drawer, muddled, dirty, and full of holes.

One of the best books I have read on the discipline of putting pen to paper (or finger to computer) is On Writing an autobiography written by Stephen King as he lay in hospital recovering from a near fatal knock down by a drunk driver as he walked home one night. The amazingly productive Mr King only talks fleetingly about his drink and drug problems as he wrote his first books but it’s still a good insight into the great horror writer.

Back in Oxford I had the pleasure of interviewing Colin Dexter in a local hotel just after he had killed off Inspector Morse in The Remorseful Day. Very old school and like a prickly but kindly old uncle he told me how he still wrote on an old typewriter rather than a new fangled word processor. The cunning old devil was a bit deaf in one ear and sipping coffee and holding court with American tourists daily in the lobby of the swanky Randolph Hotel he would get the pretty young waitresses to lean in close to talk to him.

Music lyrics grab my attention for similar reasons, Bob Geldof often talked in the music papers about how he collected snippets of news and scribbled down odd phrases for future inspiration for songs. I was a great fan of The Boomtown Rats and still have a couple of their cassettes even though I have nothing to play them on. Paul Heaton of The Housemartins and The Beautiful South had an unusual method of conjuring up new song lyrics, he would head off to Utrecht on the ferry from Hull to Holland for a few weeks and loose himself in the brown cafes. Returning with a folder stuffed with random words and ideas he would get the band to wrap some music around his minds wanderings – amazingly he still came up with more brilliant lyrics after he gave up booze and funny cigarettes.

Whoops this was originally going to be a short comment on Facebook about the Ian Rankin documentary but my mind has slipped the latch on the gate and gone meandering up the road, I’d better give chase.

Everyone has off days, this was a poor performance from CD Tenerife, especially in the first half but a 1-1 home draw with Getafe B makes it 11 games unbeaten. The visitors mean defence had only let in six goals all season and was going to be a tough nut to crack even if the midfield had been creating good chances for the home forwards. The Tenerife defence was a bit hesitant and normally reliable Moyano had his worst game at right back giving plenty of encouragement to the Getafe players. Jony got in behind the Tenerife defence after 10 minutes and Sergio had to halt the threat, a couple of minutes later the same player screwed a shot wide of the goal. Gomez shaped up for a shot, thankfully Inigo Ros slide tackled the ball clear.

There were home chances, Loro won the ball and set Suso off wide on the right, he cut inside but put his ball across the face of the goal found no takers.Tenerife seemed to be viewing this as the easiest of two successive home games, it was a dangerous attitude to adopt. Suso got booked and misses the next game and the fans thought he might get taken off at half time before his frustration earned another red card. Marti Guillem turned out to be the big change, on for Loro, and he looked hungrier and faster than his team mates. Cristo Martin had sight of goal but the Getafe keeper out jumped him to win the ball. The referee missed a lot of dodgy tackles by the visitors even those right under his nose. Chechu replaced Cristo and added more urgency to the play, Marti got plenty of close attention but battled well to make a break through. Suso had another good raid but when the goalie foiled him it was somehow given as a goal kick – more frustration for the 8,433 crowd. Samuel looped a shot over theTenerifebar and Medina launched a long range shot wide of the Getafe goal.

Marti charged again and tucked the ball back to Chechu who blasted it into the net for a 72 nd minute lead. Relief swept through the Heliodoro but as the last sub Bravo settled in for Aridane, the right side of theTenerifedefence was wide open and Arturo broke from the flank and put a powerful cross in that eluded Sergio and fell nicely to Samuel for an equalizer. It could have been worse as Moyano was missing again a few minutes later, Sergio had to race out and block an attack as Arturo loitered in front of the far post gazing into a gaping goal.

A draw was a fair result, we have been spoilt by a cracking start to the season and are judging the players against the high standard they have set. A surprise 3-1 defeat for Salamanca sees Tenerife 3 points clear at the top, a few tweaks will hopefully have us back on track for Coruxo away next Sunday. Fluctuations in form are nothing new to the Armada Sur after 20 years of loyal support, at the bar before the game The General was presented with a montage of photographic memories to mark the anniversary season – the current squad is still on course to add their own glowing chapter.

Another week, another win, and more new heroes as CD Tenerife beat second placed Real Aviles 1-0 in Santa Cruz. Jesus Alvaro came in to cover for the suspended Llorente at left back and had a cracking game including setting up the winning goal. Sergio Aragoneses is always steady and reliable in goal but excelled himself this week with a brilliant penalty save.

This was proper opposition, Real Aviles sat second in the table just behind CDT and looked a useful side when they refrained from rolling around like victims of an invisible sniper. Sergio had to be alert in the 9^th minute to make a one handed save from a Aviles attack. Alvaro looked a little unsure at first but with Tarantino putting in another towering performance at the heart of the defence he grew in confidence especially after shielding the ball from Abraham near the corner flag and forcing the forward to give away a goal kick.

Loro saw a good chance deflect high and over the visitors goal but just before half time Alvaro attacked down the left, beat three defenders, and squared the ball for Aridane to add to his impressive tally. Suso could have increased the lead before the whistle but snatched at a near post shot. The industrious Suso had another half chance at the start of the second half when the ball fell just short of his control and the keeper was able to claim it.

As the rain began to pelt down Tarantino got booked for a hand ball in the box but Sergio pulled off a spectacular full length dive to save the penalty. Bruno nearly got his first goal of the season with a header that looped over the bar, Chechu replaced Cristo, Yeray came on for Alvaro, and Nico took over from Suso. Aridane made a good break and threaded a pass to Nico he was only able to poke the ball wide at full stretch.

Aviles finally realized that the game was still up for grabs but Sergio punched clear a late attack and easily picked out a hopeful cross to frustrate them. Despite the pounding rain there was a sunshine mood on the terraces as the 9,199 crowd counted down the final minutes – another job well done and the unbeaten run continues

Oh the things I do for the Armada Sur, a bit of consumer testing was on the cards as I headed bright and early to Santa Cruz with Barnet Dave. We were eager, hammering on the door of the brewery at 10 am to sample the new tour. I was a bit peeved that there were only seven of us visitors, parties were announced as being up to 15 people but after wrestling with the on line registration I booked the last two places, our guide said they had cut the size down to make it more manageable.

Never mind, the smell of hops was in our noses and our multi lingual guide and his young female assistant took us past check in and across the courtyard. Bottles and barrels were piled high in the store area and I was twitching with anticipation. Luckily they hadn’t noticed my five litre flask and siphon straw sticking out of my bag. Wearing our high visibilty yellow jackets we watched a video in the reception room and paid our three euros fee.

Entering the cooking area the air was humid and sweet, like being wrapped in a warm beer blanket, the water, malt, hops and yeast were sloshing away in a huge vat and I thought I could see someone swirling round in there with a huge grin. Our guide gave us background and history in Spanish and English before we moved on to the packaging area. Were those yellow bubble gum machines all around the brewery, maybe not, they gave out ear plugs and we were glad of them in the bottling plant. There were armies of Dorada Pilsen bottles marching along the conveyor belts, I deployed my fishing rod but couldn’t find any Especial to snare.

The last stop was the museum and bar, one whole wall was a glass cabinet containing bottles from the start of Dorada production in 1948. I imagine that is what Los Abrigos Andy’s living room looks like. Our guide started to pour us glasses from the Dorada tap and we sipped as we chatted. The brewery, part of SAB Miller, also brews Tropical and Carlsberg (under licence) but it seems that Dorada is the dominant sale in Gran Canaria despite our view of Tropical as a Pio beer – cue memories of 2,000 CD Tenerife fans singing at Las Palmas ground “ No No No Tropical”.

Especial on tap was a rare sight and we managed to coax some of that into our glasses and we were also offered some less filtered Dorada that was more bitter and yeasty, very good too. Dave was tempted to buy a t-shirt but they didn’t go up to experienced beer drinker sizes.

After a 90 minute tour it was tram time down into the capital and leaving Dave to explore I headed to the port to check out the ships and then on to Parque Maritimo for the second part of my mission. The swimming pool complex to the side of the Auditorium has recently done a deal to give CDT season ticket holders free entry (normally 2.50) so I had to check it out. It was midweek with a mix of cloud and sun but half of the complex with the largest pool was closed off and only a scattering of people were around the other kids pool and a still luxuriously big second pool. I had to show my N.I.E number as my CDT season ticket is in the name of the peña Armada Sur rather than mine but once in I was soon doing circuits in the main loop of the sea water pool.

Out of the pool like a wrinkly blond prune I had a good look around, it’s a lovely complex with shaded areas, showers and a Pizzeria Café and there’s also access to a small beach. Outside the café there is a covered area with a large TV, part of the link up with CDT is to make this a fan zone, I’m sure it could prove popular for the local fans to watch away games as part of a relaxing Sunday. Well worth having a look – go on just dip your toe in the water.

The whole squad needs to be up to scratch if CD Tenerife are to escape Segunda B so a midweek friendly against Ibarra at El Fraile was the perfect setting to look at some of our fringe players.

Catching the bus over with Barnet Dave we made the short walk to the bar opposite the ground and met Kevin for a pre match Dorada. The first pleasant surprise was the 7 euro admission for the game, how different from CD Marino’s 15 euros for the Las Palmas friendly. Once inside it was clear we didn’t have that many players on duty, the training injury to Josmar will keep him out for 3 to 4 weeks but he still had his usual beaming smile as he sat on the terraces with German – not sure if he is also injured.

There were around 300 people present as the action kicked off, Roberto started in goal, other notable faces were Sergio Rodriguez at right back, Abel, Bravo and Jeremy in midfield, and Guillem Marti as the main striker supported by Nico. Ibarra are one of the better sides in the Preferente but Tenerife made them look poor, there was a good cohesion about our side.

Jeremy set up Nico for the opening goal and Abel added a second with a strong strike from outside the box. Marti was very aggressive up front and looked keen to prove his worth, Jeremy looked strong and confident and a good play maker. As the second half kicked off there were no wholesale changes, a good idea to make sure players got a much needed full run out. Ayoze Perez and Ayoze Placeres were the major changes and later Angel Galvan took over in goal. Junior scoring sensation Ayoze looked lively and went close to scoring several times.

By now the sun had set and the floodlights were on, trouble is they only have two pylons on one side so players were difficult to spot in the dark, I’m sure at one point I spotted Lord Lucan and Shergar prowling the touchline. Nico made it 3-0 and Jeremy (above) capped an impressive display with the fourth. A good workout and nice to hear several players knocking loudly on the first team door.

Not a weak link in sight, CD Tenerife turned on one of their finest squad performances as they swept Atletico Madrid B aside with a 4-0 pounding. While I am giving out plaudits, full marks to coach Alvaro Cervera for his tactics, The more experienced Tarantino was returned to the centre of defence and Suso was included in the starting 11 ahead of Chechu, the rewards were immediate.

In their first attack Suso opened up Atletico and served the ball up to Luismi Loro for a first minute opener. Stunned fans barely had time to praise their heroes before Aridane got in on the act to bang in his seventh strike of the season. The stadium was buzzing, Madrid had arrived as a team in form and Oliver Torres was supposed to be the best thing since free Dorada but Tenerife made sure his admiring scouts (and any Girl Guides) had a wasted trip.

Even in such irresistible form it would have been greedy to hope for more early goals but glory starved chicharreros never refuse another helping of classy football. Suso is like a fox in the chicken coop and as he worked his way into the box he was brought down and Loro gleefully converted the penalty, 3-0 and only 18 minutes on the clock.

There were signs that Atletico could be a useful side but Tenerife squeezed them and kept their chances to a bare minimum, Medina again played the holding role to perfection and Cristo Martin was always ready to prompt another attack. This wasn’t just about pretty football, there was plenty of good old fashioned hard work and players supporting each other.

Into the second half and Suso was relishing his running battle with defender Elbis, he won a corner that Loro just failed to convert. Cervera took the opportunity to give fringe players a run out, Josmar Zambrano got a big cheer when he came on for Loro and he was soon showing his cheeky skills running in from the left. Cristo Martin was fouled just outside the box and was unlucky to see his free kick go over the bar. Abel came on for Medina and Guillem Marti for Aridane and the play continued to flow.

Marti showed more hunger this week and he and Martin both went close to adding another goal. Marti had a strong run at goal in the final minute and was only stopped by a Saul foul, a second booking meant an early finish for the defender and as the ref pointed to the spot Marti placed the ball wide of the keeper to open his Tenerife goal account. It was nothing more than was deserved, the 8,471 crowd were lapping it up, this will send out a strong message to the other teams jostling for play off positions, Tenerife are determined to hold on to the leaders spot.

Sailing majestically across the Plaza de España sails billowing and not a crew member in sight. Blimey they were a bit small though, was this an episode of Land Of The Giants? no just an exhibition of remote controlled boats as part of the Sal 2 promotion day in Santa Cruz.

The models were a good start but even without an anorak and a flask of milky tea I have become a bit of a ship spotter and I’m always drawn to Santa Cruz harbour to see what the tide has brought in. Looking down from the roof of the Fred Olsen building the two cruise liners were old friends but two gleaming modern motor yachts on the near side caught my attention.

Down at mooring level I was able to admire the sleek lines of the Fortunate Sun and April Fool. Later research valued them at a cool 54 million and 46 million euros, both can comfortable sleep 12 guests. I think I could get used to port hopping in such luxury but I’d probably need a paper round just to afford the polish for the chrome.

Walking out to the marina I’d already spotted a military ship but it was beyond the public access so I had to zoom in from the main road to the auditorium to find out it was HMS Edinburgh. It was a lucky spot, the type 42 destroyer is on its last deployment before being sold off. Built in Birkenhead in 1983 time and budget cuts have caught up with the grand lady, it sailed out of Portsmouth in September last year and returns for the last time next spring.

At the moment HMS Edinburgh is on a counter drug trafficking mission off the coast of West Africa before moving on to the Caribbean and the United States. As part of the farewell tour the ship fired the last round of Sea Dart missiles off the coast of Scotland, these too are being replaced, by Sea Vipers. Some of the crew were out jogging just below the ship, I’m not sure what they would have made of the model boats but hopefully they will enjoy their time in Tenerife.

Two well worked goals and a solid team performance saw off a young talented Real Madrid C team with a 2-1 win in their own stadium. Prepare to faint – there was even a quality ref who let the game flow.

Medina got the nod ahead of Bravo and Abel to replace Yeray, suspended for two games, in the holding midfield role, Llorente returned at left back and Amado kept his place in the centre of defence ahead of Tarantino. Just three minutes into the match Cristo Martin put in a long deep cross from the left and found Loro who glanced the ball into the net with his head. Chechu looked back on form forcing a save from a Moyano (above) ball and hitting a short corner for Aridane to test the keeper after a flick on. Good moves were flowing, Loro found Chechu with a delicate lay off and his floated cross found Aridane to keep the goalie on his toes.

Llorente was again making runs up the left but was missing in action after 14 minutes leaving his flank wide open, a low pass eluded Sergio and Ramirez tapped the ball in to level. That stirred Madrid, Ramirez beat the static defence and it needed a touch from Sergio to send the ball for a corner, then Sobrino opened up the CDT back line, thankfully Sergio was on it again. Back came Tenerife, a looping corner from Chechu wasn’t far off target and Amado popped up in the box to go close. Cristo repeated his earlier bomb into the area but this time Aridane couldn’t quite reach it.

The second half started well, Loro’s shot was helped over the bar by a deflection, but the winning goal soon arrived. The ball broke to Inigo Ros in space, he took his time to pick out Chechu wide and admired the way his midfield team mate drilled the ball into the bottom corner of the net. There were still a few scares, Madrid flashed the ball across the Tenerife goal mouth and Llorente made two timely defensive interventions. Guillem Marti had already replaced Aridane and Suso swapped passing handshakes with Chechu. The first touch for Suso was to launch a raid and force a corner, Nico made his seasonal debut for Loro and also looked lively. The ref Lixandru , one of the youngest at 32 had been pleasingly invisible and when Ramirez launched himself into the Tenerife penalty box he wasn’t fooled by the dive – wonder who taught him that.

Nico and Marti both gave the home goalie some more practice, there was one last scare though in injury time as a home sub fired at Sergio who dropped the ball but recovered to scramble it away one handed. The win was fully deserved and loudly applauded by a good sprinkling of traveling fans.