There was almost a queue to meet Pope John Paul the second in La Laguna, the fine new statue by Czeslaw Dzwigaj had only been unveiled the day before but a few of Tenerife’s Polish community were eager to get a photo with the main man. Karol Wojtyla had been a decent goalkeeper back in his youth but I don’t think that’s why USOPAL the Polish association commissioned and paid for the statue. It’s a nice addition to Plaza del Doctor Olivera and appropriately next to the iconic church Iglesia de la Concepcion.

So began another northern tour of discovery, the 110 direct Titsa bus to Santa Cruz had whizzed me up from Los Cristianos in under an hour and the tram ride to La Laguna was as smooth as ever. Wandering a few yards down into Calle Cruz de Candelaria my curiosity led me into El Cinematografo, a small shop packed with DVDs of classic films. I know everyone downloads these days but collectors still want to own copies of greats from Clark Gable, Randolph Scott and an amazing collection of old westerns. The box sets are wonderful, how about all 6 Gordon Scott Tarzan films, or 20 classic sci fi and fantasy movies, and they had a music section with CDs from Yes and The Alan Parsons Project – don’t think I will be lost for present ideas in future.

After a quick check around the main streets I hopped on the tram and back to Santa Cruz to tick a few more calls off my list. The port was quite busy with Independence Of The Seas docked, another nice top up for the bars and restaurants, the week is bringing 22,000 cruise visitors in total. At several points I saw Inside Tenerife the new free glossy colour magazine co-produced by the port authority and Santa Cruz council and aimed at cruise visitors, looks good, plenty of info on La Laguna as well as the capital and guides to culture and food stops. Everyone is frantically trying to tempt people into their shops and bars which means bargains for visitors, I had a basic but nice three course meal for 7 euros in Cafe Dachita at the top end of Calle Castillo.

One of the days main calls was the Expohostel & Gastronomia show at the Recinto Ferial, mainly aimed at the catering and hospitality trade but well worth a look as it was free to get in. One of the first sites to greet me was a huge upside down gutted pig in a glass case, part of the Egatesa stall, CD Tenerife fans are used to seeing their advert on the back of our season ticket – try a gutted Pio next event chaps. I was impressed by the greeen cow on top of their stand – maybe heights make it ill. There was plenty of food stalls, the cakes looked lovely but they were a bit mean on the freebies, it was quiet and stall holders seemed to be touring other peoples stalls and sharing the goodies out. Shame really as I might have been shopping for a bulk order of fancy cakes and spring water for the Armada Sur summer BBQ – never mind we will have to do with burgers and beer.

On a football theme a couple of falcons were being shown off by the pest control company that protects the pitch at the Heliodoro Stadium, one of the birds stops us from being continually crapped on – well at least by the pigeons. One of the centre pieces of the show was a slow cooking contest with five chefs facing off at a row of cooking stations watched from rows of bleacher seating. It was all modern cuisine designed to show off as much of the plate as possible rather than cover it with food – and not a single Gordon Ramsey style tourets outbreak in sight.

On the way back to the bus station I popped into El Tanque, one of my favourite and weirdest art places. The former oil tank, 20 metres high was built in 1929 but after being pensioned off was turned into a cultural space 15 years ago. Inside there is just a series of steel girders supporting the roof and some spotlights are all that break the darkness. On this latest visit four sets of video art were projected on the inner metal skin with a series of cushions to sit on in the centre of the tank. On my first visit there was a circle of huge gongs suspended from the ceiling with fluffy cod ball type drumsticks to beat them with. The acoustics in El Tanque are amazing,they sometimes have live theatre and music – it’s very bizarre, the latest display is open 5 to 8pm in the week and 11 am to 4 pm on Saturdays and always free entry. One day I expect to go in and find hundreds of dormant Cybermen. El Tanque has just been declared a site of cultural interest. Time to catch the bus back to the relative sanity of the south.

A few months ago Sergio Aragoneses (below) could have worn pyjamas and a red nose, sung the Birdie Song, and dribbled the ball into his own net with Garfield slippers – and still be forgiven by the fans. These are troubled times for CD Tenerife and long serving goalie Sergio was booed and showered with abuse from the start of the 1-1 home draw with Lugo after being named as one of the main architects of the dressing room revolt that saw coach Garcia Tebar sacked last week.

Not the best of backgrounds for former B team coach Quique Medina to step up and try to steer a course into the promotion play offs. The hostility of the fans extended to most of the team, seen as mercenaries, although most mercenaries get paid, this lot have been relying on promises since January. At least Sergio responded with a defiant display in goal starting with a first minute fingertip save from a corner. The Tenerife team looked slow and lacking punch up front, Kiko was suspended and Loro supported Perona in attack.

The home defence was uncertain, Llorente had to make a strong headed intervention to clear danger and Sergio pushed away a long range effort from Quero. Manu had a clear route to goal before Pablo blocked him, from the corner Manu headed in but Sergio was there to punch the ball away. Tenerife set off on a breakaway with Feran Tacon bearing down on the Lugo goal, the keepers feet were equal to the weak shot. Marcos managed a weak looping shot, again the Lugo keeper hardly broke sweat. The visitors looked a classy well balanced side and at times seemed to be toying with Tenerife.

The half time whistle brought more derision from the 8,627 crowd and the game pattern continued into the second half with Sergio making a great one handed save. The new coach made his first change and it was aa bold one, giving B team midfielder Sandro (above) a debut replacing Ferran Tacon on the left wing. The 21 year old looked lively and sparked a couple of assaults on the Lugo goal, Kike Lopez put a great ball across the face of the goal and Belforti kindly turned it into his own net for a vital lead. Zazo took to the field in place of the disapointing Loro but Tenerife slipped back into their slow tempo and Lugo stepped up their game.

As Aridane waited to come on for Bravo in the 80th minute, Lugo pushed forward and although Sergio got a hand to the ball De Pita scored at the second atempt to level the game. The last 10 minutes was more about keeping the visitors from taking all three points and CD Tenerife hung on but needed two fine late saves from Sergio to ensure the day wasn’t a complete disaster. As the players left the pitch they managed a token effort at clapping the crowd but got an equally unconvincing response as a Siberian chill interupted the hot sunny afternoon. Thankfully 5th placed Real Oviedo, visitors to Santa Cruz in 2 weeks, lost and with an away game at 6th placed Atletico Madrid B next week, Tenerife are still masters of their own play off fate.

To the untrained eye I was just lazing around at Via Vai near the beach feeding my face and slurping a cold drink but another lovely afternoon was shaping up nicely. The Feria del Libro (book fair) was on its last day outside the Los Cristianos Cultural Centre, not just stalls with a range of books on culture, food and local history but also a stage where I saw soprano Candelaria Gonzalez shake the rafters at the opening presentation.

On the way to my lunch break I had popped into the 2 day Feria de Oportunidades (bargain fair) where over 40 Arona business’s had taken stalls to clear oldstock at crazy prices. It was bustling quite well with some heavy scrummig down at the more popular clothes stalls. Never get too near to a woman in search of a bargain, they are lethal, some of the stall holders were thinking about ccalling in a UN peace keeping force at one point. To the side of the stalls there was a large bouncy castle slide for the little ones to play on, they could have let me have one go down the slide it looked great fun – apparently I’m a bit old – ageist or what.

Back at my food stop a few shoppers were comparing the contents of their bargain bags and were well chuffed, in thes tight times it’s a helpful boost to struggling local business’s and adds another attraction to a fairly quiet Saturday afternoon. Looking across to the ferry port I could see the top deck of an unusually sleek and stylish boat peering over the usual fishing boats along from the old beach. I normally head round that way for a relaxing walk and a chance to talk to the fishes – their sport knowledge is sketchy but they are quite opinionated about the latest film releases.

As soon as I got near, the size of this motor yacht impressed me, obviously a very rich persons plaything and in 10 years here I have never seen a private boat moored up near where the excursion boats load and unload. It’s an open area and quite a few people had gathered to admirre the gleaming craft, the name Vive La Vie didn’t tell me much and a red flag with a Union Jack in the corner puzzled me. Someone mentioned the Cayman Islands and later research showed this to be right on the money, the motto on the flag said He Hath Founded It Upon The Sea . A big chap who didn’t look short of a euro disembarked down the gang plank and in perfect polite English answered a few general questions and was suitably vague about the yachts owners. I did ask for a tour on board but got the no I expected.

Anyway a mix of scraps of info and later frantic internet action told ne the 60 metre yacht was built in 2008 at Bremen, Germany by Lurssen to specific specifications for “a man and his family”. Top speed is 18 nautical miles an hour, it can sleep 12 each of crew and guests but most impressive of all was the fantastic inside design with a hi tech modern lounge, a fitness room, bedrooms that would shame many hotels, and a jacuzi. The yacht may be out on charter, aa notice on the gang plank made it clear that privacy would be protected with 24 hour security. We may never know who are illustriuos visitors are but they are sure to be impressed by Los Cristianos as it was at its dazzling best.

After narrowly swerving one iceberg last weekend the good ship CD Tenerife ripped straight into another with a 3-1 defeat at Celta Vigo B and coach Garcia Tebar felt the chill as he was pushed overboard. In the crazy world of CD Tenerife anything can happen and usually does, losing after being a goal up against ten men and Kiko collecting yellow and red cards in just 20 minutes revived last weeks crisis fever and Monday morning marked the latest departure.

It started so well,home player Warden got a straight red card after just 5 minutes and CDT capitalised with a goal after 8 minutes as Ferran Tacon set up Perona, the ball went in the net but was given as an own goal, coming off Vazquez. We’re not fussy how the ball goes in, that should have been the start of an easy victory but this is CD Tenerife we are talking about. Just after the half hour Jota levelled and 4 minutes later the sharp young forward gave Celta a half time lead.

Into the second half and just after Kiko had come on for Ferran Tacon (above), Jota wrapped up his hat trick, Sergio was again suspect with his positioning but the defence was having a nightmare. Jota is a hot property, he had been with the first team squad at Cartegena the previous night in a game that was abandoned after a linesman was felled by an object from the crowd. Anyway back to the nightmare, Kiko got himself booked and followed up soon after with another caution and was off, the 7th sending off for Tenerife this season to go with the storm of yellow cards.

As soon as the game finished the clock was ticking on Garcia Tebar, at least the club allowed him the flight home before sacking him. In comes Quique Medina coach of the B team, until the end of the season, or at least until he upsets our sensitive players. Our play off rivals all dropped points so the new boss goes into Sundays home game with second placed Lugo knowing we can leap over them – yes we sacked a coach with the team in third position? Bookies probably wont even give odds on what will happen next at CD Tenerife – the only thing we can rely on is the passion and support of the fans. Time for us to dig deep again as we usher in another new charge for promotion.

If credits rolled at the end of The Passion in Adeje “shepherd with shovel” would appear on the honours. As noon approached Roman soldiers shuffled their sandals, the Empress toyed with her snake, even the Roman eagle had a little flutter, and the horses showed their nerves in a less delicate manner.

There has to be some back stage jitters for this annual street theatre extravaganza that re-creates the last days of Christ and his crucifixion. A cast of 300 actors rehearse for months, scenery and costumes are lovingly created, and Calle Grande is transformed to a biblical setting thanks to liberal sprinklings of palm ferns and leaves.

The crowd was bigger than ever this year, 22,000 people lined the street from the church at the top down to the small plaza where Jesus would be nailed to a wooden cross. Press and the local television crews following the scenes as they unfold dress in costume so as to not distract from the emotionally charged story.

Even The Greatest Story Ever Told can benefit from a few tweaks, this year there were more dancers and some extra passages of dialogue, relayed over speakers from head sets worn by the main characters. The key elements were all there in their usual glory, The Last Supper, the garden of Gethsemane, Pontius Pilot’s court room and the market.

The power and realism is a tribute to the hard work of everyone involved, no gory detail is spared from Jesus chained and whipped by the Romans to the graphic nailing of Jesus to the cross before it is hoisted before his mother and Mary Magdalene. As Jesus forgave his captors with his last breath and his close friends wept at his loss, many of the onlookers shed tears too and everyone crowded into the final area was visibly moved as every last drop of emotion was wrung out.

Fertile is another adjective that The Skids might have added to their lyrics if they had done the Santiago de Teide to Puerto Santiago walk. As talk of drought continues in Tenerife the Barranco del Valle showed how well water can be used to keep agriculture going.

At the top end of this 8 km walk the low dark rolling cloud was sprinkling rain on me as I set out, it felt a bit chilly too and I was glad of my rain jacket. Much of the route is the old Camino Real, one of the earliest paths linking the coast to the hills. Big angular blocks of stone tested my footwork and volcanic stone walling helped to channel me slowly downwards parallel to the main road.

The rain soon fizzled out as I left the brooding cloud behind me and the coat joined the bare essentials in my small rucksack. I soon discovered that this was quite a selection box of teasing trails, the first temptation was a detour of 3.8 kms to El Moledo or a 2.1 km stairway up to Risco Blanco. Making a mental note for a future trip I pushed onwards and down to the lip of the barranco deep below.

Rock stacks to my right were bizarre and fascinating and the path had its own beauty with cactus plants blooming with pink pears. The next signpost offered up Cruz de Los Misioneres, a steep climb up the side of the mountain to a lone white cross at the top, again I had to decline the invitation. A black goat I passed trotted up onto a mound and started a bleated conversation with a friend across the barranco. Tamaimo was now in view to my left and as the path dipped down, the trail crossed the dry barranco bed and I took advantage of a smooth stone to sit and have a snack. The river course may have been dry but since the start of the walk a large pipe running close to the path had gurgled loudly with the water rushing through it.

Cresting a hill I got my first glimpse of the coast and very beautiful it looked. A little further on I noticed several reservoirs, not full but not far off. Pipes running into them were matched by others leading out into well tended plots of bananas and cereal crops, all looking very healthy. Coming down hill two reservoirs looked more like a small marina, the sign here pointed up to the right so I duly obliged only to find myself following a quickly narrowing ledge that was leading to a sheer drop.

Common sense eventually tapped me on the shoulder and I back tracked to the reservoirs and headed around the well protected banana plantations. The track between the towering green enclosures soon turned into a road and my confidence returned as I recognised some landmarks up ahead. The road came out just above the Los Gigantes mirador which was awash with coach parties of tourists. The near four hours had sped by, the transition from rain to hot sun, and the expanse of fertile farmland in the barranco had given me a new understanding of the precarious nature of water supplies on the island. More importantly I had found another stimulating and rewarding trail of wonder and beauty.

Bending and stretching to the music, and that was just the palm trees being whipped into a frenzy by a strong breeze at the promenade near the old Metropolis disco. Arona Maxima Deporte (wasn’t that a character in Gladiator?) was an open air sports zone with a chance for young people to get involved in excercise.

As I approached I could hear the pounding dance beat and sure enough there was a stage with an incredibly energetic instructor coaxing a good sized crowd to strut their stuff. At the far side of the old car park young eager sports fans tried their hand at basketball and tennis, I’m hopeless at both but maybe the super sized rackets could have made me into a champ.

Over on the coast side stalls were pushing massage, healthy eating, and even wind surfing but my eye was distracted by a pretty young Canarian lady promoting a new sports energy drink called Pussy. She seemed blissfully unaware of sniggering British men clamouring for samples of her ice cold Pussy, and has probably never even heard of Mrs Slocombe.

Back at the stage aerobics, step, and disco all mingled, there was even a congaa line that threatened to spill over onto the beach. Passing tourists stopped to watch and some even joined in with a hint of Dad dancing at a weedding. Still chuckling like Beavis and Butthead on speed I headed off to get my swim at a less choppy bit of beach.

As the injury time winner went in for CD Tenerife at home to Toledo, fans and players surged towards each other on the touchline. There were embraces, cheers and an outpouring of joy, all it needed was the theme from Love Story to make it complete. Alas it was just a moment, prompted by sheer relief after another dire performance, rather than reconciliation, the divisions and problems still run deep at the club.

Coach Garcia Tebar wore his best dark suit, he could be forgiven for thinking he was attending his own funeral after reports that the club would sack him if the game ended in defeat. Panic buying on yellow cards set in weeks ago at CD Tenerife and most of the midfield was sidelined, Medina joined Marcos in the engine room but it left very little creative force. Perona returned up front but for much of the first half he drifted wide and interchanged with Farren Tacon.

The spark was again missing from the home side, long hopeful balls were never going to do any damage, especially with the pathetic Aridane as a target man. Perona had a couple of weak long shots but Toledo used a well worn plan by visiting teams to sit back and play off any breaks they got. The big Sanz was their hope up front but neither goalie had much to do in a depressing first half. Even the protests in favour of the coach over his mutinous players were half hearted.

The second half was a bit better as Tenerife created more chances, Bravo should have done better when controlling the ball with his chest only to lose control of his shot. Marcos unleashed a strong shot from distance but the keeper took it well and then Kiko came on for Medina to add punch up front. Rosquete came on for Aridane just in time to see Tarantino depart with a second yellow card. Kiko unsettled the Toledo defence and had a couple of half claims for a penalty as he was bundled over, Rosquete and Kiko headed wide and Perona hooked a shot over the bar.

Toledo took time wasting to new extremes with endless writhing from supposedly injured players, the keeper even sat down in his area at one point to draw attention to another squirming team mate. The 8,595 crowd was steeling itself for a bore draw when in injury time a lovely chip into the box found Pablo Sicilia who stroked the ball into the corner of the net. Three points, third place, and another game ticked off the countdown to the play offs, as silver linings go we will gladly accept that but someone needs to sort out the big dark cloud that still hovers over the Heliodoro.

Apparently 13% of visitors to Tenerife use one of the many walking trails, as I battled my way through 30 staff wielding German hikers and onto the 460 Icod bus from Las Americas I thought that figure could be a bit low. For once I was headed for a more sedate excursion, a good old poke around Santiago del Teide, a village I have passed through many times but never given it the attention it deserves.

Most of the walkers also got off at my stop but transferred straight onto the 355 Titsa mini bus for Masca or headed up onto the Chinyero volcano trail. Left at the main plaza I savoured the cool air and the tranquillity, determined to leave no stone unturned I passed the church of San Fernando Rey and turned into Senora del Valle, home to a rather lovely rural hotel and the Casa del Patio, all laid out on natures finest canvas.

The pine tree covered hills were soft and majestic but a noisy rooster was determined to make his case and as I moved inside the courtyard a couple of squawking parrots in a cage stuck their beaks in – bless. There is a riding centre at the back of the grounds but the horses were having a lay in or getting their oats. Casa del Patio, an old rural house was restored and opened in 2009, perfect timing for the 100^th anniversary of the Chinyero eruption, they now have a permanent exhibition which I found fascinating. Outside two sturdy wine presses stand guard, methods have changed these days but Santiago del Teide still produces some memorable wines.

Back past the church and the imposing statue of Guanche Prince Alonso Diaz, the main street was quiet apart from the odd wave of lycra clad cyclists and a convoy of jeeps on their way to Masca. A glance down a side street and an odd structure caught my eye, I had to investigate and found it was a tribute to the local volunteer firemen that had been killed in action. Honour and Glory it proclaimed and a few yards along the bomberos station stands as an ongoing commitment to this service.

My main objective of the day was to walk up the Camino de la Fuente de la Virgen, an archway leading up a rugged path marked with white crosses on the way to a shrine to Our Lady of Lourdes whose statue was blessed and placed next to a spring in 1990. A mere stroll compared to the long walks I have done but one of the most beautiful and emotive climbs I can recall. Each cross had a round sculpted bible scene at its base and although plain and stark each cross was packed with cultural and religious significance.

The path was quite steep and winding and the wisps of cloud that flit by in this part of Tenerife revealed a clear hot sky. I was going to take a quick breather half way up but noticed the stones were alive with armies of scuttling ants. The shrine was hewn into the rock and decorated with flowers and had some small stools so visitors could rest and contemplate. Just next door was an alter and a large bell, an oil drum brimming with foliage and discarded candles showed that the shrine was lovingly tended and used for acts of worship. A discarded Spanish teen mag suggested that younger worshippers sometimes scampered up here to contemplate their own idols. As for the spring, that looked like it had been dry for a long time and not just during this current parched spell.

The views down over Santiago del Teide were wonderful, not that high but revealing of the landscape that was carved out by volcanoes and now is being opened up further to the east by the new ring road and tunnels through the mountain. It’s a good job I’m not easily spooked as the bushes were twitching as large lizards went about their business, quite a nice spot for them with so many ants on tap. My descent was slow as I drank in every last sensation from this special route, and back in the village I relaxed with a coffee and cake at one of several delightful and friendly bars.

Most people put their clocks forward on Saturday night but CD Tenerife put theirs back a year to the painful days of relegation football. Coming on the heels of the home surrender to SS Reyes this was a worrying 2-0 loss at the bottom placed team Leganes.

Kiko, Llorente, and Cristobal (below) were back in the starting line up but there was no real urgency and Tarantino got away with some sloppy marking thanks to a brave intervention from Sergio. The defence was asleep again when Toninoturned and chipped a shot justover the bar but he improved on that after 16 minutes when he spotted Sergio loitering on the edge of his box and chipped the ball over him and into the net.

Zazo was getting stuck in and needed treatment aftercoming off owrse in a clash with the home goalie but most players struggled to break sweat. Navarro could have increased the lead on the half hourr, his free kick only just cleared the CDT bar. The second half opened with the killer goal, Cristobal stood off his attacker on the right and was missing when Victor nipped in for a free header to make it 2-0. Aridane came on for Ferran Tacon, and Bravo for Marcos but it didn-t make any difference.

Sergio had to make a great stop with his legs after Tonino waltzed through the retreating CDT defence. Loro hand balled and was off for a second yellow, add to that yellows for Zazo and Kike Lopez and an injury for Chechu, that means the whole midfield will miss the Toledo home game. This was a terrible showing by a CDT side with one eye on the play offs and no pride in their play.