Vespa scooters lined the entrance to La Noria but unsurprisingly on a hot Tenerife night there was not a parka coat in sight, just stylish male and slinky female models. The La Noria district of Santa Cruz is a magnet for the well dressed, trendy, and sophisticated but they forgot to put the fashion police on standby and I sneaked in. It was time for the Peroni beer calendar shoot, I had only just calmed down from last years and this year there were plenty of bottles of the Italian beverage floating around to further encourage me.

Why would they dress Santa Cruz up as Italy? Well that connection comes through Dorada and their parent company Compania Cervecera Canarias who distribute Peroni in the Canary Islands. The end of La Noria just below the main road bridge has eight very popular restaurants with large seating areas outside, through the middle of these the walkway had been covered with a red carpet that acted as a sort of catwalk for the diners to salivate over after they had finished their food. This year the female models were joined by a few males to play out some romantic scenes, an extra bonus was a bevy of Peroni promotion girls in figure hugging black dresses.

The first shoot took place out of most guests sight, down a small alley, I managed to elbow my way among the photographers watching the official snapper Alfonso Bravo direct his couple into the perfect smoochey late night stroll home. Last year it was all shush as the official photos were taken but this time a small band strummed away on a nearby stage and the sound of happy chatter hung in the air. I shoe horned my way in among the media pack at the alley entrance and enjoyed the show, another couple cuddling in the shadows just behind the main stars added another layer of late night passion.

Taking to the red carpet the whole group headed to the far end of La Noria and enjoyed a few cold bottles while posing for some relaxed shots. There was nearly a PR incident as a van of promotional girls for a forthcoming southern music festival tried to crash the gig, after a short stand off they went on their way, I’m not sure if horses heads and beds were mentioned. That left the way clear for a large group shot of the models emerging from under the archway as a relaxed jolly gang out on the town laughing and swigging a few Peroni’s. There is a narrow cobbled street through La Noria and every now and then a stray cyclist would disturb the shooting by threading their way past the models but they took it all in their stride.

Luckily for me the models didn’t open most of the bottles preferring to use them for props in the shots and then leaving them on steps and shelfs, being public spirited I couldn’t just let them litter the place up so I drained them purely in the interests of quality control. Most of the diners had finished eating by now, as the night wears on La Noria becomes more of an up market late drinking venue, I have had a few good late ones there waiting for the sporadic nocturnal Titsa bus es to the south. It will be interesting to see how the calendars look when they emerge later in the year, not that they will be on sale, the 500 copies are for corporate contacts. The public shoot experiment had worked well and the models were very obliging in spreading themselves over the scooters and cars, I headed back down south with a big grin on my face. For more pics and a full report see Tenerife Magazine.

I don’t like straight lines, they bore me, I need extremes, the downs make the ups even higher, supporting CD Tenerife certainly fits in with that outlook. Work is very like that too, sometimes it goes quiet and the stories are thin on the ground but then along comes a busy spell, last week was a little belter. The PWA World Cup of windsurfing had been penciled in my diary for a while and I planned to pop down to El Medano on Tuesday to catch the pre tournament build up, then the day before the PKRA – Professional Kite Riders Association dropped me an invite for a Tuesday morning press conference at Hotel Las Arenas, also in El Medano. The Master Cup, due from 8 to 14 August, had just leapfroged my plans.

The Titsa bus was pushing it for the 11 am gathering but after speed walking along the sea front to the 4 star hotel I arrived hot and sweaty to find they were nowhere near ready. Waiting nearly an hour for the Granadilla mayor to show up I had time to admire the Reina promotion girls and their large bowls ….of bottled beer packed in ice. The meeting was on the sun terrace where sun loungers were rapidly filling up as the sun swung out of the shadows to start grilling them, a small side opening led down onto the Playa de Los Balos where a few were taking an early dip as the JCB’s flattened and expanded the beach. After nearly an hour the mayor sneaked in, took his seat at the top table and with the three other officials rattled through the basics, at least the beer finally got popped open. Before I left I had a sneaky look around the hotel, very nice despite its car park like outer appearance, the large shells set off the smart but empty lobby and the restaurant looked nice as I pressed my nose against the glass.

Heading back to the centre of town I stopped at Playa El Cabezo, home for the windsurfing, the council were still paving the area in front of the mobile bar and up behind large vans were emptying out stacks of windsurf boards in protective covers that looked like body bags. Some surf dudes were relaxing and several more were out on the sea getting some early practice in, the keen locals were out in force in the strong wind and further to the west kiteboarders were strutting their stuff, the overlap was a wild exhilerating sporting venn diagram. A few more photos and a face full of pancake at La Boheme and I was heading back to Los Cristianos, sadly at home a schoolboy error saw me wipe my photos as I went to download them. The surf shots could be replaced and bettered but oh no those nicely posed pics of the Reina girls were also lost.

Back on Thursday for the start of the PWA World Cup and the wind had got even stronger, perfect for the surfers, the paving was finished, the railed off part of the beach was packed with boards and riders in a pits style and in small groups they dragged their boards into the sea and did 12 minutes of gravity defying action each. one of the most impressive aspects was the chilled atmosphere, no security pushing people around and families and even their dogs took vantage points up on a sandy ridge that was doused with a cooling spray evey few waves. I wandered through the pit area to the control hut to scribble down some details and several riders obligingly posed for photos, no one seemed worried that I was picking my way between boards worth around 1,500 euros each.

The action was amazing, fast, daring and acrobatic, flipping those boards and sails to hang upside down in the air for a few seconds must take great stamina. Even as riders defied the laws of gravity there were still local surfers whizzing around, well you can’t seal off part of the Atlantic. I came away with increased admiration for these talented sportsmen and women, not just for their skills but also their modest, friendly and approachable manner. For more photos and in depth report go to www.tenerifemagazine.com In mid afternoon I got an invite from the media agency handling the Peroni calendar shoot in Santa Cruz the next day – an offer I couldn’t refuse.

It doesn’t make it any easier to take but it’s not just CD Tenerife that are drowning in a sea of debt, the financial crisis is putting the squeeze on sport on the seven islands and further afield in mainland Spain. Of course it doesn’t help if you have an incompetant President like Concepcion at CDT, I dread opening the papers each morning for fear of the latest self inlicted wound.

The last few weeks have been a real tirade of body blows to long suffering blanquiazul fans, we knew relegation to Segunda B would turn the screw on us but the club seem determined to make it as painful as possible. After a tearful farewell at the final home game Nino has signed for Osasuna in La Primera, one of several teams chasing him, but despite having three years on his contract no transfer fee has been mentioned. The 14 other players with time to run on their deals had to go to clear the sky high wage bill, some pay deals must have been made over a late night drinking session. Then the club sacked Arico born coach Amaral after just 10 games and with a years contract (80,000 euros) ahead of him, and it was revealed that the squad hadn’t been paid for the final few months of the season – oh shit.

Let me put this in some context, the LFP, players union announced that 300 players in the top two divisions of Spanish football had reported their clubs for outstanding wages. Further down the foundations were also rotting away, last week the league relegated 12 teams from Segunda B (Spains 3rd tier) to the Tercera due to outstanding debt, Palencia have since been reprieved but the other 11 have until noon on Monday 4 July to pay 400,000 to regain their Segunda B status. CD Tenerife could well be joining the big drop for their second relegation in a few months and third in two seasons, despite some deals being cut at least five players and coach Amaral want their full outstanding money now, some estimates put the immediate total at 4 million euros.

Looking at our neighbours, Fuerteventura went broke a couple of seasons ago, Lanzarote and Las Palmas B have turned down a chance to fill two of the Segunda B gaps as this late promotion comes with a 400,000 euros price tag. The senior Pios (Las Palmas) may have laughed at Tenerife’s drop but now they have lost their long term sponsor La Caja as the bank has been swallowed up by parent group Bankia, suddenly they are digging down the back of the sofa for money. The added problem with Canary Islands sports team is our location, playing in national Spanish leagues means expensive away games every two weeks.

Around 8 years ago the second biggest team in Tenerife was Tenerife Marichal, the ladies volleyball team, they dominated the Spanish league, always went to the finals of the Europen League, and played to regular crowds of 3,000 plus in Santa Cruz. Now unsponsored and just plain old CV Tenerife, they are about to fold due to lack of money and dwindling support. CV Tenerife Sur mens voleyball team in Los Cristianos have also suffered a similar fate. It’s gonna be a tough next few years, CD Tenerife will play to much smaller crowds in Segunda B or the Tercera next season, assuming we survive but the loyal hard core will stay, whether that will be enough for long term survival is another matter.

Grain by grain, petal by petal, families came together to piece together this years stunning collection of street carpets in the heart of La Orotava. Not even an unusually cloudy and moist day could dampen the enthusiasm of the annual devotion to the Corpus Christi celebrations. The huge central tapestry in the Plaza del Ayuntamiento had already been completed over 55 days with coloured sand and now the streets were being transformed into a blaze of colour like a living jigsaw.

Leaving the scorching south of Los Cristianos early I headed to Puerto de la Cruz on the 343 Titsa bus, I thought it would be packed with other carpet baggers but it was only half full. Reading the paper I saw that flights had been diveted the previous day from Los Rodeos airport in the north of Tenerife and as is so often the case the cloud got lower and thicker as the bus reached it, worse than I have seen for a long time. It was better into Puerto but swapping onto a La Orotava link of 10 minutes it got thicker again and was almost chilly when I got out. There was a good stream of people heading for the heart of the town but I thought there was more tatt and stalls on sale than at my last carpet trip 2 years ago.

Soon I was stood behind two short nuns shuffling up the stairs of the Ayuntamiento (council)Â building to get a view from the balconies of the main display in the plaza below. Some one trod on my sore toe during the jockeying for a good position, I uttered one rude word in English, thankfully the nuns were oblivious, I didn’t want to start a religious outrage so early in the day. The tapestries were as awesome as ever and at first glance you would think they were painted rather than made with millions of grains of coloured sand placed over a template. The streams of visitors below looked endless and the sky still looked grey but I could see some people up the tower of the church and made a mental note to try to scale that vantage point myself. Everyone was so enchanted with the plaza carpets they paid little attention to the splendour of the council chambers, glittering chandeliers, expensive looking paintings and religious sculptures all jostled for my interest but they were not the stars today.

Back out on the street I joined the slow march upward along one pavement as other passed back on the other side, all admiring the developing masterpieces on the road between. The main plaza is always completed in advance and the surrounding streets on the big day, many families have been involved for several generations and it was good to see young children learning the craft at their parents sides. Wooden frames are used for guidance but the measuring out and sprinkling of dried petals and sand is a skillful process that is carried out with precision. I tried to be tactful as I took photos and avoided making too many large bottoms semi famous. The streets wound round and down again towards the Church of the Concepcion so I went inside to marvel at the structure and decoration of the church that was built in 1788.

Just like 2 years ago some young boys were left to guard the locked door up to the tower and were only letting family through, looked like they had a huge family, I offered to marry their sister but they didn’t go for that and I never got my birds eye view. Back outside their was definately fine drizzle in the air but it didn’t make much difference to the celebrations as people began to dance to guitars and drums. The day would stretch on for a lot longer until the evening procession marched all over the hard work and destroyed the carpets, no one minds their achievements have already been recognised. Another tradition is being passed on in safe hands.

On the day Tenerife bursts into flames on the beaches around the coast, the government issued a ban on fires and BBQ’s in the hills due to the heatwave that is roasting the island. Well it has been hot, very hot, at the beach in the afternoon it had slipped to a chilly 31 degrees but even as I headed down to Los Cristianos beaches again at 10.30 pm it was still reading 24 degrees.

Noche de San Juan is our own little bit of mid summer madness and with the weather so hot there was a bumper beach bonanza this year. I met some Armada Sur friends Dave and Annie near the old beach and the promenade was packed with the dedicated and the curious. The statue of San Juan, or Saint John to his close friends, had been carried down a little earlier and was holding court at the Plaza del Pescadora in front of tables serving tapas and a large music system pumping out variations on Canarian dance tunes. Some people carried flowers ready to cast on the sea, just one way to symbolize cleansing the bad and wishing for better in the year ahead.

As we walked through the tunnel to Las Vistas beach we left behind one large bonfire burning brightly on the old beach, already several splinter fires were being set up in the sand as focal points for families and their nocturnal picnics. On the bigger beach the flames of several large fires were licking at the night sky as young revellers streamed down the steps from San Telmo armed with bundles of card for fuel, and of course the inevitable clinking carrier bags of cheap beer and spirits. Not wanting to be left out we stopped at Goodfellas bar, nicely positioned at the centre of the promenade with good views of the teaming mass of half dressed bodies dancing on the beach.

Taking a few cool Doradas we were joined by another Armada Sur couple Ian and Janette and chatted as we watched the sights go by, many were hopping over the wall onto the sand where some were making close runs through the very edges of the flames. On the beach some larger parties had set up stashes of booze and were clearly in for the duration, others were dancing to radios or scoffing. With midnight approaching I made my excuses and hit the sand wending my way through the gathered groups to the shore to see people running into the waves, some fully clothed. Normally people make small fires from a few sticks and jump them while making a wish but the cooling sea was the main attraction this year. I was wearing my CD Tenerife shirt and had a few drinks forced down my gullet, honest I didn’t want them.

As I moved along Las Vistas to head to the old beach some massive lean to wood stacks were promising fires of epic proportions later. As I emerged near the Plaza del Pescadora many plump elder ladies were grooving like grannies at a wedding to spiced up Canarian music, i lingerd a while but drew the line when the DJ went all 80’s mainstream and bunged on Jive Bunny – not very traditional. Not wishing to roast my chestnuts on an open fire and rather thirsty from the smoke I headed home via The Merry Monk for a few late, or should that be early nightcaps. After a few quieter years it was good to see the beaches heaving for one of the highlights of the fiesta year

To a thirsty football fan the white domes of the Oasis restaurant mean a welcome beer stop half way up the TF1 motorway to Santa Cruz. During the season I stop there every 2 weeks in the company of the Armada Sur as we go to worship CD Tenerife but I have never gone down below the Oasis to check out Los Roques a small historic village that is hoping for a revivial in fortunes.

The recent elections have brought a new mayor for Fasnia the region where Los Roques is situated, and Damien Perez has vowed to restore this area to its sparkling rugged best. I headed down the winding road to the coast below and found a choice awaited me, to the north Playa del Abrigo and to the south Playa de Los Roques. Taking the Playa del Abrigo path I soon got the full benefit of the large dark sand and shingle bay, on a scorching day with lively waves there were just two people bathing on the beach. Walking to the far end I looked across the beach to the two rocks that give the area its name, the largest is attached to the mainland and the second is a small volcanic spit a few yards away.

Tucked in behind the main rock are the Bahia Apartments, an early attempt to atrract tourism, built in 1964 they look run down now but it looks like there are still people living there. Moving closer I could see a neglected swimming pool near the beach and a blocked pathway where the sea laps close at high tide. There used to be a passage way through here linking the two beaches and the new mayor intends to restore this and improve the main beach. On this side of Los Roques there are some modern new apartmenrts and houses, the regeneration of Los Roques seems to have been a very sporadic affair. Looking up I could see the empty local opposite the Oasis, it has been a work in progress for around four years and is partly fitted out as another restaurant and bar, the views from the terrace would give an uninterrupted vista of the beachand the roaring sea.

Back tracking up the hill and taking the other path to Playa de Los Roques I found a much more traditional fishing village that had clearly seen better times. On this other side the old village is pressed against the base of the rock and includes a small church. In it’s day this was a busy area, a large cave of salt deposits Cuevea de La Sal was used to preserve and prepare potatoes for a sea crossing to Gran Canaria. A closer view of the smaller rock revealed that it was teaming with bird life, this is such a vibrant stretch of the coast. A large levelled area makes a handy natural car park, maybe at weekends people flock down to swim at the main beach but somehow I feel it is still a hidden gem.

The Oasis above is just a baby, born in 1998, but is a well visited stop off point. It’s strange to think that most people popping in to quench their thirst are unaware of the splendour of the landscape that unfolds just below. Hopefully the mayor will fulfill his promises and restore some pride to Los Roques.

There I was getting my hopes up at the chance of watching the 1930 World Cup in Tenerife. Have I finally flipped, or is it the latest bizarre ruling from FIFA, well neither really, today was the first day of filming in La Laguna of Montevideo, a movie about the first ever World Cup that took place in the Uruguay capital all those years ago.

It’s a Serbian production based on the true story of the surprise packet of the tournament, Yugoslavia, they only went to make up the numbers but their mainly Serbian team finished third. This is the second movie now going into production, the first showed the players growing up and sharing their love of football in their home town of Belgrade. The new movie takes the story on to their World Cup exploits and will be followed by a TV series, apparently this has become a huge hit with the Serbian viewers.

La Laguna is doubling up as 1930’s Montevideo but I was hoping the action scenes would be filmed at CD Tenerife’s Heliodoro Stadium in Santa Cruz. Sadly it is not considered big enough to depict the games, the final when Uruguay beat Argentina 4-2 was watched by 93,000 fans. Seems a shame as the Heliodoro is quite an old stadium and with some technical wizardry I’m sure they could add on a few tiers to the stands. CD Tenerife even had a Serbian forward a few years ago, Vejiko Paunavic, but he is now playing in the United States.

It looked like the film team were digging in for a long shoot up by Calle San Agustin, actors were getting into 1930’s clothes in the caravans provided, a large catering unit was in place to feed the crew and stars, and a large dining area had been set up in the shade. The security guard hovering around wasn’t too keen on my camera but it is in a very public area so ya boo to him. So much for my trip back in time to a golden age of football, I will just have to re-create the 1930 games with my Subbuteo players.

Plaza Weyler in Santa Cruz is often the starting point for protest marches but this Sunday 19 June could see one of the biggest yet. Madrid was the birthplace of the 15M protest that started in Puerta del Sol on 15 May with thousands camping peacefully for weeks to protest at the greed and corruption of politicians and bankers that is being felt by the poorest in society.

A couple of weeks ago I was up in Tenerife’s capital Santa Cruz and saw our own Acampada in Plaza de Candelaria. It was a big site made up of tents, workshops, kitchens, and even Radio 15M a rebel broadcast station. Ok it was small compared to the Madrid version and the many others that spread across Spain but still significant. The camps have started closing down now, in Madrid they are melting away but leaving a small presence. Last Saturday the police went in to clear Plaza de Candelaria, it’s remarkable they have been so unusually restrained over the weeks, local press reports say 5 people needed hospital treatment, the first alleged violence surrounding this protest.

Posters have been going up the last few days for this Toma La Calle (take the street) protest this Sunday at 6pm. Over on the mainland marches are due to start in major cities also on Sunday to slowly converge on Madrid for 17 July. People are getting angry, they see the leaders, politicians and bankers playing Monopoly with the economy, losing a fortune and then telling the people they serve to tighten their belts a bit more to pay for it.

I’m surprised there has not been more revolution in the UK, everyday the news is full of more jobs being slashed and pensions being cut at the same time as big companies hike prices (19% gas increase) to feed the ever rising packages of their directors. Teachers are now threatening to strike in the UK to protest at their pensions being cut back, I just saw an MP on the news spluttering about how outrageous it is – nothing wrong with fiddling expenses of course.

I’m sure the teachers and many others were as impressed as I was yesterday to see former Marks and Spencer boss Stuart Rose on the news proudly saying he deserved his 8.1 million golden handshake when leaving his job – more like a golden 2 fingers to everyone else. Maybe the recent uprisings in oppressive countries around the world has shown people that they can change. Power to the people as Wolfie Smith used to say.

There will be parties in the streets of St Asaph in North Wales tonight after Becky Brewerton won the Tenerife Ladies Match Play at Golf Las Americas. It was a nail biting finish for Becky, three times a runner up in Tenerife, she couldn’t watch her chasing rivals Nikki Garrett of Australia and Carlota Ciganda of Spain at the final hole but they both fell just short to share second place.

It was another scorcher for the final, I had done extensive research, well if you count looking up the calendar shots that Danielle Montgomery (below) posed for a while ago. There wasn’t an official category in the competition but I reckon the winner of the Pro Am on Thursday definitely had the finest legs in the tournament. On my arrival I was glad to see more spectators than on my Friday visit, after all it was a top European ranked sports event and FREE to watch.

The previous two days match play had cut the field down to the last eight players for a traditional round of stroke play and I joined the leading pair at the 10^th hole. Danielle was indeed looking delightful but this was serious stuff as they chased the 40,000 euro prize. Wales had a double chance with Lydia Hall in the running and American born Australian Frances Bondad (below) was a surprise packet as she made her presence felt.

As the spectators swarmed after the players and the watching television cameras presented a living holiday brochure to the world and the ducks and swans were preening themselves hoping for a part in David Attenborough’s next series. Jumping the brook a few times without making a wet fool of myself I managed to get up to the head of the parade as Becky and Frances reached the 18^th green and the Welsh wizard finished on 68 shots, four below par. Now it was a waiting game to see how close the other players could get.

We didn’t have long to wait, Nikki Garrett (above purple) and Carlota Ciganda (above pink) , in her first professional event, were snapping at Beckys score as they arrived at the final hole. Tension was high as Carlotas second shot plopped in the water and Nikki just missed a 15 foot putt, both were killer blows. The smile on Beckys face said it all, there was a long hot wait for the officials to set up the presentation area but everyone got their deserved thanks for a well run event. Becky received her bottle of champagne and made a bee line for Shane her Irish caddie to give him a good soaking. Roll on next year.

Not a string vest or knotted hanky in sight just young enthusiastic local models and a selection of clothes and accessories from shops close to the catwalk. Plaza del Pescadora looked Absolutely Fabulous as fashion took centre stage at Los Cristianos old beach last night with two shows.

On the way down I passed children sitting for face painting at one stall and free make overs outside the Mego perfume store, luckily for them I didn’t set them the ultimate challenge. Arriving at the stage area Mickey and Minnie Mouse were parading and entertaining the crowd of families and holiday makers. I was surprised to see security staff at each end of the catwalk, maybe Minnie Mouse had heard that Ryan Giggs was on the prowl.

The shows were organised by the local business association to boost trade, an excellent idea, just a pity it was only advertised in the immediate area. Once the cartoon heroes had departed the compare took the microphone and invited the first models to hit the catwalk from their impromptu back stage dressing rooms. Each group of models showcased the stock of a different shop, many were for youth fashion but there was also emphasis on glasses, shoes and bags. For some strange reason my photos have captured mainly the ladies but there were some male models too. All were volunteers from local schools and colleges, fair play to the young chaps for running the gauntlet of their teenage friends in the crowd.

There was a section for toddlers that was packed with the aaah factor. The first boy and girl were quite happy and revelled in the attention but the next couple had a difference of outlook. The little girl was ready to stride out and milk the crowd but the boy got an attack of shyness and was rooted to the spot fighting back the tears. After a lot of coaxing, cheering, steering, and almost dragging by the much keener girl he did take a bow, the applause was warm and very loud.

After starting as a clear sunny day the clouds had appeared for the 6.30 pm first show but the spotlights were all rigged, the sound system ensured music and commentary for all and the video wall turned the models into giants and made sure everyone knew where they could buy the fashion items.

A well presented show with some very plucky models but a bigger crowd would have enjoyed it if the advertising had been aimed further afield and in a range of languages. There are two more parades tonight (Saturday) at 6.30 pm and 8.30 pm, try to catch them. You can see more photos here.